Changing of the Greene Leaves

Destiny

2012-01-17T12:12:00.000-08:00

These girls may have had a bad start to their life, but they now have a Destiny! This is not a home, but a place girls come to work and it is called Destiny... fitting name, huh? Here they have the oppurtunity to make money for themselves and their families, to get benefits, and also a way to help them fill good about themselves. We all fill good about ourselves after a good hard days work... right?

Sorry the pictures are so tiny... I don't know what is goin' on. :o)

Here is one of the ladies, who runs Destiny. She is standing in front of some of the finished products that the girls have made.

This is a picture of some of the ladies getting a manicure done.

This picture is some of the ladies getting a pedicure.

Cleaning, massaging, and painting finger nail and toe nails was what we were about for a week and a half. :o)

The finished product!

The girls may of thought we were a little crazy, but thats alright. All we cared about was that we were loving on them, that they felt our love for them, and that we brought glory to our Father in heaven.

150+ Blessings

2012-01-16T12:16:00.000-08:00

Our second day of serving was spent at the New Hope school (in the morning) and then we traveled to our first after care home (in the afternoon), which we will call SunnySide. We knew that this home was going to have the most girls (150+ girls), but we were ready to love on them. When we got to the SunnySide we were a little early and they were still in class, so we were shown around a bit and got to see where they do their work... some of the girls sew and some stamp. Then we were taken to a room where they kept all their merchandise to shop. Oh yea... 13 women shopping can be dangerous. LOL! I believe we all bought something from SunnySide. When the girls were done with school they all met us out in the courtyard and we were over run by girls ranging in the age of 9 years to 18 years. All these girls had different stories... some were trafficking victims, some were taken from their families because they were not safe there and they had a very high possibility they would be trafficked, and some where in the after care home because they were orphaned or unwanted by their families. All very sad, but these girls had joy and a hopeful future.

Once they came out we began to play games with them. One of the games was musical felt squares. LOL! Instead of musical chairs we put 150 felt squares on the ground and they were to walk around the circle while music played (and we would remove a couple squares) and when the music stopped they were to jump on a square. Well... the instructions given to them was some where lost through translation. LOL! The girls were hopping around from felt square to felt square and some of them would hop from their square to their friends square and then back to their square... it was so very confusing, so we stopped the game. LOL! Then we split the girls up and half of them played a cotton ball spoon game (I don't know the official name of the game)... everyone lines up in 4 equal lines and everyone has a spoon, then the first person in the line gets a cotton ball on her spoon and passes it quickly and smoothly to the person behind her without the cotton ball falling on the ground. The other half play a princess relay game. There were 4 equal lines and the girl in the front had to run and dress up with all the princess gear (heart glasses, headband wig, tiara, and wand) and then run back to the next person in line and take it all off for the next person to put it all on. That was a great game!

I forgot to mention that there were also kids (3-5 years old) there... children to the girls that lived at SunnySide. As we were setting up the princess relay game they were wanting to play and all the girls were telling them to go away. These kids wanted to play so bad. Truthfully we had no idea there was going to be this many children... there was about 8 kids. So Janet and I took these little rascals and played Duck Duck Goose (which we had to explain without a translator) with them and then we played the cotton ball spoon game with them as well. They loved having their own special games. :o) But, wow did I wish like the entire trip I could speak Bengali.

After the games we came back to the middle of the courtyard and all sat smushed and cross legged under these paved pavilion and watched some girls dance. It was so great to watch them dance and laugh and just be giggly girls. After the dancing we all continued to be close and "cozy" to here Barbara share her testimony. It was good and some girls came up to her later and thanked her for sharing her story. Then it was time to do a craft... my wonderful friend, Brenda came up with this really cute hair barrettes to make with the girls. Each girl got a metal hair barrette and 2 ribbons and then they weaved them through the middle of the barrette to make a braid type thing. It might sound easy with me explaining it if you have a clue what I am talking about, but when you have 13 to 15 girls in your group and we can't understand eachother except when they say "Auntie" (that is what they call someone older than them... like a teacher) it gets a little frazzling. On top of the communication barrier and not knowing how to do the craft very well the blood sucking mosquitoes come out with a vengeance. LOL! But, in the end all the girls eventually got their barrettes done and helped eachother and they were so proud to have made it on their very own. But, thanks Brenda!! :o) It was then time to leave and we would see them again the next day.

The next day we went to Destiny in the morning, but I will blog about them in a different post... right now I am going to blog again about SunnySide. This time the girls were going to come out in 3 groups because we were doing manicures and pedicures... we couldn't have all 150+ girls out at the same time. Let me tell you all we were doing with their hands and feet... with their hands we were, soaking their fingers, removing their cuticles, lotioning and massaging their hands, filing/cutting their nails, and then painting their nails and added a decorative flower on them if they wanted. With their feet we had buckets and we would wash, clean, and scrub their feet, file/cut their toe nails, lotion and massage their feet and legs, and paint their nails and add a decorative flower if they wanted. Let me just say... Feet our a HUGE deal in their culture... especially an older person washing the feet of a young person. HUGE! Every single foot that we washed was a HUGE deal. They would make a sound or gesture everytime we would start someone new. On top of the feet washing being such a HUGE deal we didn't have any towels to dry their feet with after being washed so some of us used our shirts that we were wearing... and that my friends about did it!! They were very uncomfortable... but we then explained it is okay... and that we wanted to do this and it was our honor... they then relaxed.

I was at the feet washing station the entire time at SunnySide and it was completely humbling. To even get a little glimpse at what Jesus did as He washed His disciples feet was so over the top. After each girl got her feet washed we went and dumped the dirty water out and refilled it with clean water and new soap, but let me just say the that water refill station was not close by. We walked to dump the water where the water pump was... this water pump was like what they had in the 1800's, and then we carried it back. The Lord truly was with me while I became tired. He rejuvenated me with strength to continue to love on these girls. By washing 300 feet and painting 1500 toes while at SunnySide I think I can speak for the entire feet washing crew (which was 4 of us) that it was a blessing to have the honor to love on them in a way they have never experienced in their entire lives.

I know this is a very long post, but I tried to make it to where you felt like you were there. I may not of done a very good job at that, but there was no other way. We were unable to take pictures at SunnySide, so that is also why it was so hard to explain. I hope you understand and got something out of this post because really washing this many feet at this one home has changed my life forever!

The Poverty We Don't Know

2012-01-15T11:41:00.000-08:00

I have so much to process, but the thing I am really trying to wrap my mind around is the poverty in Kolkata. We are so privileged here in America (even the poor)... we have freedom... they say there is no cast system in India but there is, we have clean water... they do not unless it is filtered, we have food (even the poor have somewhere to go here in America)... a lot of the people in India don't know where their next meal will come from, we have roofs over our head (not any kind of roof, but a roof where everyone has their own room)... a lot of the poor are living on the side of the road in a tent with tarps as their walls, we have hot water... most homes in India do not have hot water heaters and if they do it is only like 10 gallons (trust me it is not enough by our standards). My list can go on and on and on... we are so privileged to live in this country! Words will never be able to describe how privileged we are.

This is very common to see bags of potatoes on the back of a bike. Bikes are a very important type of transportation.

These children were just sitting outside of a business with no adult. This was another common thing to see... children running around on the streets with no adult, parent, or grown up.

There is no law in Kolkata that says you can't pitch a tent and live on the side of the street on the sidewalk. So without that law people do just that.... they pitch their tent or gather boards to make their walls. They cook, sleep, and do life on the side of the road.

With people living everywhere and anywhere there is no trash service, so naturally the trash would just go anywhere and everywhere. Behind the trash pile is the roofs of a little more permanent slum homes.

Here this family doesn't really have a tent or boarded walls... they just live and do life on the side walk. They wash their clothes in city water and dry their clothes on the city rail. This is normal. Normal for the poor and normal for the not poor as they walk by.

I will have to say... with so much poverty and hunger... there is so much smiles. The Lord is there in Kolkata just as He is here in America with me and you. We just have to sit and listen to Him and not let our distractions take over our God. I am not blessed... I am overly privileged. So as I contemplate all of this and try to make sense of it all... I am thinking about all I have... how can I give it to my new friends, who need it desperately for their ministries.

New Hope for a Slum Village

2012-01-14T07:24:00.000-08:00

The New Hope School is the place we visited our first 2 days in Kolkata. No words could ever come close to describing what this school is all about or how God is working there. The school is in the middle of a slum village that practices Hinduism and these two people below were called to change this village for God's glory. They both have faith I have never experienced... faith that God will provide for it all. They both are very smart and have gone to school for different career paths then they are leading now. Pastor Rudra was an Engineer and has his Masters and Mita has just finished Law school. They have given up their worldly lives and worldly success to follow the One who truly only matters. They both have envisioned this school and that the Lord will overcome this village with all His authority and love. This is who and what these to wonderful people are about... I have been changed because of their story of faithfulness and I pray to have faith like them. I was privileged to serve along side of them as we helped them these 2 days. May the Lord bless Pastor Rudra and Mita. May His face shine upon them and bring them much peace.

Pastor Rudra and his wife, Mita, who is the teacher of the school.

Walking through the village.

Walking through the village.

Here are some of the kids greeting us as we walked down the road of their village. It was so awesome to be greeted with smiles and laughter.

I know this is not the best picture of the school sign, but get the idea. All by faith in God's plan and His guidance.

This is how they do school with the morning group. They sit in rows and do their work on the floor. They are happy little kids and so happy for what they have... and these kids don't have much, but they soak up in anything and everything you show them and teach them. Lord bless these kids and may they all come to know You.

These kids did so awesome taking the paper off the back of these stickers. They did it all pretty much on their own... some did need help but they were determined to do it on their own. They loved all the different stickers and soaked it all up.

Here is Lauren, one of our teen girls that came with her mom.

Working on writing.

Praise and worship time during chapel.

Here is my knew DeeDee (big sister), Jill, who telling the Bible story on David and Goliath. Jill was so awesome and she blessed Pastor Rudra and Mita by sharing ways to help the kids better.

One of the kids praying the Lord's Prayer. Everyday they prayer the Lord's Prayer... complete reverence to His holiness.

Working hard on coloring a sheet talking about washing hands to keep germs away.

My DeeDee, Brenda watching these kids and loving them.

Working to hard! She was a great colorer!

Here they are reviewing a Bible verse we taught them... "I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

This was one of the two crafts we had for them to do. No one complained about what color they got... they just were so grateful to get a hat to decorate and keep for their very own.

They were all so proud of these hats.

Aren't they so cute?

Our driver, Shavik (I probably messed up is name bad), he was a huge blessing to us. He was an awesome driver, translated a bit for us, bought henna for us (an got a deal), we felt so safe with him, he walked us to our destinations, and protected us in unsafe places. May God bless Shavik and his beautiful family.

The New Hope school has also begun a program for the women of the village, a sewing trade. Here in this picture Mita is sitting with a few women (more came later) and sharing a story about God. I am not sure what she was saying, but I can be sure it was to bring our Savior glory.

Here a beautiful Indian women who is working on her lines and learning.

This young lady in this picture is 19 years old and not married yet, but I believe God has big things in store. Another reason Pastor Rudra and Mita started this sewing school was 1. teach them a trade and to make their own money (eventually) but, 2. To teach them the Truth because once the wife of the house learns about Jesus' love then she will teach her kids and live it out to be an example for her husband and then by God's grace the husband may come to know his Savior as well.

Aren't these ladies beautiful? The lady on the left was very happy and full of smiles and laughter. She was the life of the group and very talkative.

This was day 2 and the craft for this day was making pillows. These pillows were fleece and had a rainbow pattern to help them remember the the promise of the Lord that He would never flood the earth again. They loved that this was made by their own two hands and that they got to take this home and keep.

Everyday we were there they had a dance for us. This day they had a swing dance prepared for us. We were so impressed!

Aren't they cute?

This young man (whose name I can not remember... no matter if a name is in another language or not I can never remember names. This is something I need to work on) in this picture is one of two of the teacher's helpers and he is a blessing. He does not get paid for helping at the school, but he is a follower of Jesus Christ. His parents give him a hard time at home because they want him to work and make money and forget about his Jesus, but he continues to stay faithful. This is one of Pastor Rudra's disciples.

Here Barb is working with the kids with the folder games. These kids could not get enough... they wanted more and more...

We were supposed to visit the village again and show the Jesus Film in the school for all who wanted to come and see it, but God had different plans. When we arrived they tested the film and it was not working correctly. So our team leader, Kay kept trying. We prayed and had so many others praying for this Jesus Film and asked to Lord to give us clarity and wisdom on what we should do. The morning of the day we were going to show it Kay called Pastor Rudra and shared the problem we were having and he made the call to cancel the showing of the Jesus Film. We believe the timing was just not right... maybe the field is just not ready for harvesting yet, but I believe with everything in me that God has great things planned for this village and the school. I can't wait to hear and see the great mighty works the Lord will do. Until I return I will be praying for all His glory and might to shine through strongly.

Stimulation

2012-01-13T04:53:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, was the longest Thursday of my life. LOL! When I got home from the airport I was tired but not so tired I needed to sleep. I knew I needed to stay up as long as I could... well Heidi's nap came around and I thought this would be a perfect time to get some rest. So I went and took a nap... that was probably a HUGE mistake! LOL! Bob came upstairs to wake me up and I could not wake up... my eyes would not stay open. I finally got up and went down stairs... I went straight to the couch and laid down. LOL! It was such a blur after that and I was not very nice. Sorry Bob. I did wake up after dinner and as soon as the kids went to bed my eyes were shut. I slept until around 5:30 a.m. this morning... not to bad, right? I am still tired but nothing like yesterday. Enough about my sleepiness... let me tell you about the first day in Kolkata.

Kolkata, India is so stimulating! There is so much to look at... I wished at times I had 4 eyes to see on both sides of the road. There are really no strict road laws... just suggestions and most of the time (if not all of the time) that is all it is... suggestions.

I took a lot of pictures, but they aren't very good because the city of Kolkata is so busy and fast and there are so many people. Pictures will never be able to explain the life these people live or the way this city runs.

Here is all our luggage. We all checked 2 bags... 1 for us and the other cram packed with supplies. We did leave one bag behind, but God graciously was with us as one DeeDee (big sister) had to go back and get it (along with Omar and Don, who was the one that made all of our travel and visits possible).

This picture is taken outside of the airport. Motorbikes are the way to get around in Kolkata. They could weave in and out of traffic so easily while traffic was always backed up.

Traffic. Need I say more? LOL!

Trash. Kolkata had trash everywhere! I guess if we were cram packed in a city full of 4 million
people we would have trash everywhere as well.

Bus, motorbike, trolley, rickshaw, and taxi are the way to travel.

Staring was huge thing. 13 white women in a huge city... of course they were going to stare at us, but if you looked back them and smiled or waved 98% of the time they would smile and wave back at you. Here in the America if you were to smile and wave at someone staring at you they would look away instantly.

This was the first person we saw in India carrying something on his head, but as the trip went on this is the way they do things.

Our first "dinner" in India. Yummy Fanta with a long straw. I had the most delicious Indian style chicken fried rice and garlic naan bread.

We went and saw a few of Mother Teresa's house. This one is the one where she lived and died. She lived in a tiny room and the room was one of the hottest in the compound because the suns rays were constantly beaming on that room, but she never had a fan. I wasn't supposed to take pictures beyond a certain point going up the stairs to her room and I was not supposed to get this picture... but there were Nuns washing.

I know this picture is blurry and bad, but to me it says so much. We were in the back of a rickshaw for the first time and we were laughing so hard.

A picture of the busyness.

Again, these pictures will never capture what Kolkata really was... no words will ever describe it. Kolkata to me will not be about the smog, the trash, the busyness, or the poverty, but it will be about the love of the people and the faith of the believers. I can say it has a piece of my heart forever. By God's grace I will return soon to the City of Joy.

Home from my 2nd Home

2012-01-12T17:10:00.000-08:00

I am home! My team and I got home this morning from our time in India. It was a lot of traveling... I think about 40 hours with layovers and all. But God sure did put an amazing bunch of women together. We all had our special gifts to touch every life we came into contact with in India. Our Father was most gracious to us.

I will be blogging about each day, but I can't right now because I AM SO TIRED! But, I do want to share of God's faithfulness. We met some men and women, who have given up their lives to follow in the footsteps of their Lord and Savior. Their faith is so strong that when they hear from the Lord that they know that is the way they should go and no other way. Faith that they fast for days and days because they know what the Lord had asked of them, but they have not had their needs met. So they fast for the few needs they need to make what God has called them to do to come to life. This faith I do not know because I am privileged to live where the poor are wealthy compared to the poor in Kolkata. I pray I will have faith like the men and women I met who seek the Lord whole heartedly.

The Lord was good to us while we were gone... we were safe, we did not get sick, we were all consumed by the Holy Spirit, I shared (all of) my testimony for the first time, etc. The trip was awesome and has opened my eyes to His greatness!

All my Lord and nothing more

2011-12-30T18:17:00.001-08:00

These past couple of week I have felt attacked. Attacked by satan... I have had bad sleep, I have been so tired, I have had pain in my jaw and a throbbing tooth, I have had another type of infection thing flare up, and have been having hip pain. The majority of these ailments have flared up in the past week. But let me share with you a little story...

Last week when I began to have this jaw pain I was thinking nothing of it because sometimes I have jaw pain when I chew to much gum (weird I know but what can a gum chewer do?), but it started making me realize this isn't the same thing as my "normal" jaw pain from gum. I came to this realization when everything was closed for Christmas and of course this is when it really began to bother me. So the day after Christmas I text messaged a friend of mine, whose husband is a pediatric dentist and they refereed me to a couple of dentists and she also told me to call the emergency number. I didn't really feel like it was an emergency, but I did. I called a few dentist emergency numbers but they didn't take new patients as emergency cases. Nice right? So I gave up and thought I would pursue it more tomorrow. Before I went to bed I took 3 Tylenol so it would help with any inflammation and help me sleep and it did help.

I woke up the next morning and I felt like it was getting better, so I blew it off and said I would be fine but as soon as I get back from India I will go to the dentist (if you don't know... I really REALLY dislike dentists). Well... I did not take Tylenol Wednesday night... I thought I would just try it. Well I did not sleep well and around 3 AM I got up and had to take Tylenol because my tooth was throbbing... it didn't hurt but it just throbbed like there was so much pressure. Thursday morning I knew something was not right, but I still didn't want to go to the dentist. I had to much going on. I talked to Bob and he said I should go so I wouldn't have a problem in India. What a smart man he is!

I gave in and I called a dentist's office that took our insurance but they were closed. Then I called another office and they just had an appointment open up... WHAT! The lady who made my appointment transferred me to the lady who deals with the insurance and I was telling her about the tooth that was bothering me and that 6 years ago I had a root canal done and that now it was throbbing. She recommended me call the Endodontist who did my root canal because if it was the tooth that is causing issues that the dentist wouldn't be able to do anything anyways and the dentist would send me to the Endodontist. She was trying to save me money... to go straight to where I needed to go instead of running all around and spending all this money. She gave me the number to the Endodontist I saw 6 years ago and I called.

When I called I told the secretary I didn't know if this was the office I had my root canal done or not and she check and it was! I told her my problem and told her the story and that I was leaving the country in a couple of days and she asked me how close I was to the office. I told her I was really close and I could be there very soon. I told her I had to find someone to watch my children and she gave me a little extra time, but I GOT IN!! I am super thankful for my friend, who was able to watch my children on such short notice... it makes me want to be more like her. :o) I got the the Endodontist's office and I got right in to see Dr. Garza and I had x-rays done and he was right there to tell me the problem.

It was bad news... I have an abscess under the crown of my tooth I had the root canal done 6 years ago. It needs to be cleaned out and that means a whole new root canal. UGH! Dr. Garza was ready to do the root canal right then and there! All I could think about was I needed to talk to Bob. LOL! I asked him how much it was going to be and he said between $1300 and $1400. I told him I could not pay that right now... personally all I could think about was India and how much that cost and how was I supposed to get this money. LOL! But, he did have another option... take a very strong antibiotic while gone and then come back and have the root canal done. I told him that is what I would have to do. Dr. Garza was a huge blessing... he was very understanding and talked me through it all. He did give me WORST case scenario... if the pain is so bad and swelling begins and gets horrible that I need to find a dentist or a Endodontist and have a root canal done in India or WORSTER case scenario... have my entire tooth removed. LOL! I know very humorous!

But, other than being blessed by an awesome Endodontist is he gave me a discount. He gave me 25% of this visit and 25% of my root canal... my root canal was now going to cost me $1000! I know that is still is a lot of money, but Dr. Garza did not have to help me out, but he did! I will have to say even though this whole situation didn't work out how I would want it too, but I do know God had His hand in it all. I was in tears all the way to my friend's house to pick up the girls. Tears of joy and tears of serving an AWEsome God! I am in AWE of Him! I know without a doubt He is going to blow my mind even more while we are in India.

This is a little of what God has been up to these past few days and today... I have been covered, blanketed by His perfect PEACE! I was talking with a good friend earlier and I couldn't explain it, but now I have figured out... it is His peace.

"The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint." Isaiah 40

Ray of Hope

2011-12-29T21:43:00.000-08:00

Story

2011-12-29T21:12:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas, my friends! It was a wonderful holiday here in the Greene house! It was so nice not to have to do anything or go anywhere... well mostly because everything was closed and we couldn't. :o) It was a great Christmas and I will post pictures tomorrow.

I thought I would let you know what it going on... the Lord is doing some incredible things in my life (our life). You all know I am going to India in 2 days and the team I am flying across the world with is AMAZING! God really knew what He was doing when he put this team together (well... He always knows what He is doing!). I don't really know why God has placed me on this team... yes, I know... I love Him and we are all called to spread the good news... but why me? Why am I going to India? What is my purpose? I pray this will be revealed while there or when I return... but no matter what I know God has big things planned!

A few of us are going to have the opportunity to share our stories and I have said I will share mine... so the past week I have been trying to write it out and I think I have finished tonight. I pray through the testament of my story one heart will be tugged at... I pray the Lord will use my story or hard times to show a young woman there is always hope and love... a love that is indescribable. I pray they will hear that.

As I was writing out my testimony all I could think about were the people that were part of it all... some of them hurt me and some of them helped me, but it seemed like there was more hurt than help. Is that just what happens when you don't know the Lord? I have read it over and over and there is so much hurt that has really helped make me who I am today. One day I will share it with y'all, but right now I am not brave enough. :o) This will actually be the first time I share my story full and complete with anybody. So, if you would like to pray for me. I would really appreciate it. :o)

If you would like to pray more specifically for our India mission trip, feel free to use this as a prayer guide:

-Pray for the India Justice Ministry Mission Trip (12 Women) that leaves today, Jan 1-12, to minister to women/girls caught in brothels in Kolkata, India
-Pray for the women/girls of these brothels to be delivered and come to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ as Savior
-Pray for the team as they teach sewing and jewelry making skills as a alternate form of income
-Pray for God to use the presentation of the Jesus Film to touch the hearts of each woman/girl with the gospel
-Pray the team’s eyes will be open to needs and they will be bold beyond their comfort zone
-Pray for the team’s safety as they move around on the busy streets of Kolkata
-Pray for team members Kay Smith (leader) and daughter Kaytlin Norman, Brenda Debor and daughter Lauren, Jana Soroski and daughter Rachael, Sterling Greene, Barb Willhoit, Jill Fields, Kim Torti, Janet Caldwell, and Christine Smith.

My Hiding Place

2011-12-16T11:43:00.000-08:00

As my children are having a quiet time (which was in desperate need) I am going to share what is going on with me and my heart as I prepare for the India mission trip.

The Lord is bringing me aware of my many faults and sins these past few weeks. He has been showing me love that I knew of but was not participating in... my loss. But, as He has been opening my eyes and my heart I have again began to grieve. Grieving once again for the lost and the people who truly don't know His love... I believe my grieving started again because once again I was brought down of my high horse and was shown His true love. I thank Him for this humbleness and lowliness... it makes me truly remember how holy and righteous He truly is.

Yesterday, there were a few things that happened that hurt me and I think because of this hurt satan had a chance to weasel his way in and he did! He made me doubt for a few minutes, but I knew that was not from the Lord. The Lord is not fear or doubt... He is steady, my Rock, and my Fortress. I am thankful for prayer and the mighty name of Jesus Christ. I am thankful for His name which makes the demons shudder. I did feel a perfect peace when I fell asleep and I know that could have been from no one but my Lord Jesus Christ.

The past few months I have been reading Isaiah to the girls in the morning and I have been comforted once again by the words of God.

"Strengthen the feeble hands,
steady the knees that give way;
say to those with fearful hearts,
“Be strong, do not fear;
your God will come,
he will come with vengeance;
with divine retribution
he will come to save you.”

Then will the eyes of the blind be opened
and the ears of the deaf unstopped.
Then will the lame leap like a deer,
and the mute tongue shout for joy.
Water will gush forth in the wilderness
and streams in the desert.
The burning sand will become a pool,
the thirsty ground bubbling springs.
In the haunts where jackals once lay,
grass and reeds and papyrus will grow.

And a highway will be there;
it will be called the Way of Holiness;
it will be for those who walk on that Way.
The unclean will not journey on it;
wicked fools will not go about on it.
No lion will be there,
nor any ravenous beast;
they will not be found there.
But only the redeemed will walk there,
and those the LORD has rescued will return.
They will enter Zion with singing;
everlasting joy will crown their heads.
Gladness and joy will overtake them,
and sorrow and sighing will flee away." Isaiah 35

I have perfect faith in His word. He is my peace in troubled times, He is my Rock when I feel shakened, and He is my Fortress that protects me.

This morning I also did my devotional as I prepare to go to India and it is exactly what I needed! Satan has been trying to attack me and today's devotional was exactly on that... "When Jesus said "Let's go" and you obeyed you did not receive a free pass from all your trouble. In fact, satan is not to pleased with your decision. Let your faith arise as the time nears, knowing that "He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world."- Jack Hempfling

Praise the LORD for He knows me and knows what is ALWAYS best for me!

Isaiah 30

2011-12-10T07:38:00.000-08:00

“Woe to the obstinate children,”
declares the LORD,
“to those who carry out plans that are not mine,
forming an alliance, but not by my Spirit,
heaping sin upon sin;
who go down to Egypt
without consulting me;
who look for help to Pharaoh’s protection,
to Egypt’s shade for refuge.
But Pharaoh’s protection will be to your shame,
Egypt’s shade will bring you disgrace.
Though they have officials in Zoan
and their envoys have arrived in Hanes,
everyone will be put to shame
because of a people useless to them,
who bring neither help nor advantage,
but only shame and disgrace.”
A prophecy concerning the animals of the Negev:

Through a land of hardship and distress,
of lions and lionesses,
of adders and darting snakes,
the envoys carry their riches on donkeys’ backs,
their treasures on the humps of camels,
to that unprofitable nation,
to Egypt, whose help is utterly useless.
Therefore I call her
Rahab the Do-Nothing.

Go now, write it on a tablet for them,
inscribe it on a scroll,
that for the days to come
it may be an everlasting witness.
For these are rebellious people, deceitful children,
children unwilling to listen to the LORD’s instruction.
They say to the seers,
“See no more visions!”
and to the prophets,
“Give us no more visions of what is right!
Tell us pleasant things,
prophesy illusions.
Leave this way,
get off this path,
and stop confronting us
with the Holy One of Israel!”

Therefore this is what the Holy One of Israel says:

“Because you have rejected this message,
relied on oppression
and depended on deceit,
this sin will become for you
like a high wall, cracked and bulging,
that collapses suddenly, in an instant.
It will break in pieces like pottery,
shattered so mercilessly
that among its pieces not a fragment will be found
for taking coals from a hearth
or scooping water out of a cistern.”

This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:

“In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it.
You said, ‘No, we will flee on horses.’
Therefore you will flee!
You said, ‘We will ride off on swift horses.’
Therefore your pursuers will be swift!
A thousand will flee
at the threat of one;
at the threat of five
you will all flee away,
till you are left
like a flagstaff on a mountaintop,
like a banner on a hill.”

Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
therefore he will rise up to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him!

People of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you. Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Then you will desecrate your idols overlaid with silver and your images covered with gold; you will throw them away like a menstrual cloth and say to them, “Away with you!”

He will also send you rain for the seed you sow in the ground, and the food that comes from the land will be rich and plentiful. In that day your cattle will graze in broad meadows. The oxen and donkeys that work the soil will eat fodder and mash, spread out with fork and shovel. In the day of great slaughter, when the towers fall, streams of water will flow on every high mountain and every lofty hill. The moon will shine like the sun, and the sunlight will be seven times brighter, like the light of seven full days, when the LORD binds up the bruises of his people and heals the wounds he inflicted.

See, the Name of the LORD comes from afar,
with burning anger and dense clouds of smoke;
his lips are full of wrath,
and his tongue is a consuming fire.
His breath is like a rushing torrent,
rising up to the neck.
He shakes the nations in the sieve of destruction;
he places in the jaws of the peoples
a bit that leads them astray.
And you will sing
as on the night you celebrate a holy festival;
your hearts will rejoice
as when people playing pipes go up
to the mountain of the LORD,
to the Rock of Israel.
The LORD will cause people to hear his majestic voice
and will make them see his arm coming down
with raging anger and consuming fire,
with cloudburst, thunderstorm and hail.
The voice of the LORD will shatter Assyria;
with his rod he will strike them down.
Every stroke the LORD lays on them
with his punishing club
will be to the music of timbrels and harps,
as he fights them in battle with the blows of his arm.
Topheth has long been prepared;
it has been made ready for the king.
Its fire pit has been made deep and wide,
with an abundance of fire and wood;
the breath of the LORD,
like a stream of burning sulfur,
sets it ablaze.

LOVE

2011-12-06T19:40:00.000-08:00

The past few weeks our Pastor has been preaching on LOVE... "What's Love Got To Do With It?"... EVERYTHING!!! I have been consumed with this lately... because I am wretched and I don't deserve this unconditional, undying, unfathomable LOVE that my Father gives me every minute of every day. But, even though I don't deserve this LOVE... He is shows me grace and mercy and LOVES me no matter what.

The reason I don't think I LOVE well is because I judge... for some reason I feel like I have the right to judge and look at people the way God has all authority to do. That is so not right!

Another reason I don't LOVE well is because really... deep down... I believe I am better than the next guy/women.

One other reason I don't LOVE well is because I have blinders on...

So yes I do this... if we are truthful we all do it at some point and this breaks my heart. I pray the LORD changes my mind and thinking to how He thinks and sees... I want my heart to break for what makes His heart break. I want to LOVE without anything blocking my LOVE... I want whatever is blocking it to disappear... I want to have and share the LOVE of Christ.

I know I don't do a very good job... I know I hold back when people are in need, but I am trying. I am trying with everything in me to be more LOVING and think of others before myself, but it is so HARD! It is HARD to LOVE the unlovable... maybe it is HARD to LOVE the unlovable because I am unlovable. What do you think?

Maybe I am being to hard on myself, but this is how I feel... I don't LOVE well! This is a HUGE weakness of mine. Lord, consume me of your PERFECT LOVE.

Prayer for India

2011-12-02T11:33:00.000-08:00

If you don't know I am preparing to go on a mission trip to India very soon. We were given these devotional books by the leader of our group called "A Daily Devotional Before You Go" and it probably more geared toward teens going on mission trips but it is amazing! A simply everyday devotional to prepare our hearts before we head to the ends of the earth.

Anyways... I am a little behind on my devotionals because of Thanksgiving and all the preparations with that, but I am back on track. :o) The prayers in this devotionals are so simple but so powerful. I walk away crying or my hearted touched after these prayers. I thought I would share a few of them...

"GO therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." Matthew 28:19

Lord, I make myself available to You for the carrying out of Your last wishes. I purpose with all my heart to "execute" Your will and testament, which says that I (Your child) and property You have entrusted to me shall be used to take the gospel to the nations. Prepare my heart for all that You will have for me to do, so that I can help advance the gospel as You commanded in Your Word. Amen.

"GO into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature... And they went out and preached everywhere, the Lord working with them and confirming the word through the accompanying signs. " Mark 16:15, 20

Father, give us sensitivity in our hearts and to Your voice, that we may discover the spiritual forces at work in the lives of those whom You are sending us. Thank You that the weapons of our warfare (Your truth, Your Holy Spirit, Your Name, and the armor of God) are not feeble but mighty through God for pulling down strongholds. Use us to minister to others by setting them free from the enemy's lies and oppression. Amen.

I couldn't have said it any better... I am so thankful for God's Word!

Faithfulness

2011-11-17T11:22:00.001-08:00

I am sure I have blogged on this very word before... Faithfulness. This is all I can think of these past few days is of our Father's faithfulness to His beloved. We are his beloved... I still have issues with being called beloved because I believe I am sinful, wretched, and undeserving... but when I think this the Holy Spirit that is dwelling inside of me tells me otherwise. It tells me of the Father's love for me and even though I can not wrap my mind around His never ending love... He is the Lover of my Soul and He is the only One that truly knows me and understands me.

So, back to His faithfulness... I sometimes forget about His faithfulness, but lately it has been consuming my thoughts. I think it has been consuming my thoughts because all the feelings I have been dealing with lately. If you haven't noticed I haven't blogged in a while because of all that is going on with my best friend, Lyndsay and her disease she is fighting (Hodgkin's Lymphoma), the hurting I am feeling from friends and family not truly believing in the One true God and the Word he made by breathing it, and my heart which is grieving... but with this word faithfulness has done something consuming and overwhelming inside of me.

The LORD has been so faithful to me and my family. The LORD was faithful to provide us $5000 when I found out of my cancer, He brought me through my disease and now I am stronger and continually growing in my faith, He convicted my Spirit to homeschool my girls and continues to show favor to us, He provided the funds to go to Israel and He held that promise that He made to me as I had to humble myself and ask for financial help, He brought us through a long waiting period as we had our house on the market for sale and he provided a house for our every need, and He continues to pursue me and love me through every earthly feeling I have, through every concern He tends to take from me so it will not burden me anymore... "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:29. That is why I am here now to write about His great faithfulness.

He is in control of it all and I know I will never lose my faith and I will grow stronger in Him always! He never gives up on me and never forsakes me... so it makes me think... Why do I give up in Him? Why do you give up on Him? Why do we lose heart so easily? Why don't we put our full trust in Him? For all things? Why do we question who God is? He does not contradict himself and his Word is always true through the entire text. He is faithful in His love and how deeply He desires us... YES! He desires a relationship with you! I didn't know this until I was 24... He never gives up! Faithfulness... at its finest!

My Heart is Rejoicing

2011-11-14T11:25:00.000-08:00

Hailee has been growing her hair out for Locks of Love for a while... we found out in August that it wasn't quite long enough so we waited. Hailee really wanted a feather extension, so I told we would get her hair cut in November after her birthday party (she had a Rapunzel birthday party... she had to have long hair) and we would get her a feather for her birthday.

Well the day has come and Hailee had about 7 inches that she could donate to Locks of Love for a child, who didn't want to be bald because of a disease. This day has made me very aware of Hailee's heart and how giving she truly is... I had a glimpse of her future and what I will be praying for here on out. I am thankful for this child God has given me...

Before... this gives you an idea how long it really was.

Half way there...

She was so proud.

Hailee loving on her sister.

What a precious child of God.

I have been in tears today just because of the sacrifice she has made for someone else. This is something she has been anticipating for a while and to give on the day she should be receiving just made me feel so much honor for being able to call her daughter. I got a taste of how our Father feels when we do things for Him and take ourselves out of the situation. I pray I will never forget this day and the feeling I felt throughout. Praise God for creating Hailee!

7 Years Old TODAY!

2011-11-14T11:03:00.000-08:00

Today my sweet Hailee turns 7 years old! Can you believe it? Where did the time go? I remember going into labor with her and being over joyed that she was finally her with us. I held her almost 24/7 for the first couple weeks over her life because I was so happy and couldn't believe this child was mine. I love her so much!!

I am completely blessed! My heart is full of my earthly desires! Thank you, Lord!!!

My Heart is Aching

2011-10-10T18:04:00.000-07:00

My heart is aching for the lost of this world... for the lost who I am close with, who maybe I could make a difference. But, the ones close to me are always the hardest to speak to about the Truth, the Light, and the Way. I don't know why that is... it is so hard to share my heart with the ones I love most. It is almost like I am scared of them judging me in a way that would change the way the look at me or talk to me. But, really I want to speak with gentleness and respect in a bold way to bring glory to my Father.

Why is it so hard to to believe the Truth? Why do some think they have to add things to such perfect Truth? Yes, I know satan has a huge hand in it all, but why do we have to put so much faith in worldly things and not just put our full trust in the Maker. The Maker, who has made it all, who continues to create, the Author of the Word, and Perfecter of you and me. How can we question God, who made a perfect sinless Man and this perfect sinless Man came and lived on this earth. How can some say he never was here? It is writen in Truth that he was. I don't care what you say about this Truth and that it isn't complete... God wrote this Word for us... a love letter and a way to live our lives. But then some just spit on it and make their own way and this my friends is how satan entangles you in his web.

I am not saying I am perfect because the Lord knows I am not, but one thing I do know/do is I put my faith in him. I know he has a perfect plan and he is love I could never explain. My heart is greiving for you, who don't know his love and feel like you know what it is all about... because truthfully no one knows... no one knows his plan... but if you don't have faith and don't believe in God and his Son who died for our nasty sin, or don't know that when we become believers in him that we are made white as now, or don't know this grace and mercy we are given every single day by the Author and Perfecter of our lives, or if you are constantly searching for something but unsure what you are searching for it could just be him and his love that never fails.

There is nothing like a trial in your life that makes you search for him who is bigger and better than what we could ever make up. This may sound horrible, but I am praying that the Lord gives you a trail or struggle, because when we are at our lowest that is when we have no where to go but to look up and put or total faith in the Lover of our soul. So if I know you and you are not a believer know I am praying for you and your soul, because I want you with me in eternity with Jehovah-Yahweh (God's divine salvation).

Who are we to question him? Or make up our own ways?

“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.

“Who shut up the sea behind doors
when it burst forth from the womb,
when I made the clouds its garment
and wrapped it in thick darkness,
when I fixed limits for it
and set its doors and bars in place,
when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther;
here is where your proud waves halt’?

“Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
or walked in the recesses of the deep?
Have the gates of death been shown to you?
Have you seen the gates of the deepest darkness?
Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
Tell me, if you know all this.
Does the rain have a father?
Who fathers the drops of dew?
From whose womb comes the ice?
Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens
when the waters become hard as stone,
when the surface of the deep is frozen?

“Can you bind the chains of the Pleiades?
Can you loosen Orion’s belt?
Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons
or lead out the Bear with its cubs?
Do you know the laws of the heavens?
Can you set up God’s dominion over the earth?

“Can you raise your voice to the clouds
and cover yourself with a flood of water?
Do you send the lightning bolts on their way?
Do they report to you, ‘Here we are’?
Who provides food for the raven
when its young cry out to God
and wander about for lack of food?

“Would you discredit my justice?
Would you condemn me to justify yourself?
Do you have an arm like God’s,
and can your voice thunder like his?
Then adorn yourself with glory and splendor,
and clothe yourself in honor and majesty.
Unleash the fury of your wrath,
look at all who are proud and bring them low,
look at all who are proud and humble them,
crush the wicked where they stand.
Bury them all in the dust together;
shroud their faces in the grave.
Then I myself will admit to you
that your own right hand can save you."- Job

Busyness and No Words

2011-10-07T15:52:00.000-07:00

I am sorry for my absence, but I have been so busy. Busy with just life and my heart... well my heart is greiving. It is greiving for a few different reasons that I am not going to get into right now, but one of the things my heart is greiving over is my best friend, Lyndsay. Lyndsay was diagnosed with stage 3 Lymphoma a few weeks ago and she has begun her chemo treatment this past Monday. My heart aches for her because I know her so well and I know what is greiving her heart as well. I love her like a sister. I can tell you one thing though... the Lord is with her and I know he has a great and mighty plan for her life, her husband's life, her 2 children's lives, and for the lives of everyone she knows. Praise Jehovah-Jireh!! The Lord her provider is providing the love, comfort, and peace that she so desperately needs right now. I pray Jehovah-Rapha will heal her sick body from this nasty cancer and that the chemo would penitrate the cancer cells and blast them gone. I believe God creates everything (even if it is through earthly people) and I believe chemo was created to help heal sick bodies from cancer.

I have created a blog for Lyndsay and for all her family and friends who are concerned about her and want to know the latest news. Please pray for my dear friend and her struggles and the struggles to come. http://lyndsaysmightyjourney.blogspot.com/

First Night of LifeGroups

2011-09-11T19:06:00.000-07:00

I am working with 10th grade girls this year. We had our first meeting tonight and I had a hard time fitting in since they all knew eachother so well. :o) After dinner and some socializing we sat down went over some rules (no one likes rules), then I shared my testimony (which was hard), and then we did a fun little get to know you game (which was more for me since there are 12 girls in the group). It was a great night!! Ever since they left all I can think about is "Praise the Father, Praise the Son" song. So I am going to share with you the lyrics. :o)

O sov'reign God, O matchless King-
the saints adore, the angels sing
and fall before the throne on grace
to you belongs the highest praise.

These sufferings, this passing tide
under Your wings I will abide,
and every enemy shall flee;
You are my hope and victory.

Praise the Father, Praise the Son.
Praise the Spirit, Three in One.
Clothed in power and in grace
the name above all other names.

To the valley, for my soul;
Thy great descent has made me whole!
You word my heart has welcomed home;
now peace like water ever flows.

Praise the Father, Praise the Son.
Praise the Spirit, Three in One.
Clothed in power and in grace
the name above all other names.

Praise the Father, Praise the Son.
Praise the Spirit, Three in One.
Clothed in power and in grace
the name above all other names.

Yours is the kingdom,
yours is the power.
Your is the glory forever.
Yours is the kingdom,
yours is the power.
Your is the glory forever.

Praise the Father, Praise the Son.
Praise the Spirit, Three in One.
Clothed in power and in grace
the name above all other names.
The name above all other names.

Praying for these sweet Spirits and what the Lord has for them. Have a great night!

TEARS and FIRE

2011-09-06T16:08:00.000-07:00

I am in tears... tears as I watch the news and what these fires have done all over Texas. I am so fortunate and thankful for not being in harms way. Hundreds... maybe thousnads of people have lost their home and a few have lost their lives because of the wildfires. If you think of Texas... PLEASE pray for RAIN! The whole state needs it so bad!

We live pretty far from the fires (about 50 to 100 miles away), but still we are surrounded by smoke and ashes.

Life

2011-09-01T18:10:00.000-07:00

So... the last few days I have been thinking as I watch the hummingbird flitter and fly. I can't help, but think that they know their Creator. "Let all creation rejoice before the LORD, for he comes, he comes to judge the earth. He will judge the world in righteousness and the peoples in his faithfulness." Psalm 96:13. Absolutely... no question to it! Then I begin to ponder the human race... the ones made in the image of God... the holy face is what we have. How is it the perfect creation... the very image of God turns their back on Him? How is it the human race has no sanctity for life? The very creation that is to care for the land, birds, and
animals. I mean don't get me wrong... a lot of you do take life seriously and do what God has called us to do, but truthfully there are so many lost out there... not knowing where they came from. Some people just fight and push back so hard it is almost impossible... but thankful for God, who created me and you.

I don't know if you truly believe that God created you or me... or if we accidentally were formed by dust... or maybe you think an alien planted us here on this earth, but just think... how could that be? I truthfully want to know... how could these complex bodies be so different and made so perfectly without a mighty power and love from Someone. How do you explain a creator like a Hummingbird? Truthfully, I have been worried for my new hummingbird friends... scared they will be eaten by a hawk or something bigger than them, but I was reminded how perfect they were made. They are fast, swift, smart, and can dodge another bird like no other. If you think about all the different creators on this earth and try to compare them to another... sit and think about how different these two creators are from each other.

I have time to think about life as humans as well. How quick we are on this earth and how quick we are gone. How we can get sick instantly and not have a clue what is going on, but there is One who does know... he knows when we are babies what will happen when we are 30. I can't imagine anything but a powerful one true majestic God, Lover of our soul, to be able to put this all together. Birth, growing, sickness, and death... it was all put together so perfectly. Do you agree? If not, think about it... I was told a story from a very good friend... she was in the ER waiting to get back and see a doctor, but they were all busy because there was someone who died, but not long after that life was taken a new life was born. She knew that their was a birth because the hospital plays music every time a baby is born. Praise God for his perfect timing!

I have a very good friend, who is sick... possibly cancer. I am sad. I can't help, but think of what God has done in her life thus far... so so much, but then she is now very sick. How could this be? Is God doing something here? Is He trying to teach her or tell her something through this? What I do know for sure is.... He is going to get glory out of this whole thing. I have been praying for His healing to fall upon her, but what I do keep hearing is "I will be glorified." He is so powerful... it blows my mind! I am in tears right now thinking about Him...

Hallelujah
Artist: Heather Williams
Album: This Time Around

Jesus, please come, please come today
Heal me, hear me, be near me I pray
I have fallen so far, flat on my face
I’m in need of Your grace today
I stumble and fall, but in spite of it all
Your love always stays the same
Hallelujah

Jesus, please come, please come today
Break me, mold me, use me I pray
But don’t give up on me now, I’m so close to you now
I’m in need of your grace today
Wipe the dirt off my face, hold me in Your embrace
Your love always saves the day
Hallelujah

On my knees, here I fall, in spite of it all
Hallelujah

And though it seems hard, I still trust in your love
Hallelujah

I have fallen so far, flat on my face
I’m in need of your grace today
Hallelujah

Sing hallelujah, amen

Sorry if this is all over the place... it sounded a lot better in my head earlier, but LIFE. What does it mean to you and how can we bring glory to God through this short time we are here?

Beautiful Creation

2011-08-29T12:18:00.000-07:00

We have been truly blessed by our Creator! He has blessed us with these small flying creatures that you rarely see.... Hummingbirds! Thank you my Father in heaven for graciously giving us something beautiful to look at as this day has been difficult. I priase you and will always remember the sacrifice and the mercy you give me every day. In your mighty strong name.

First Day of 1st Grade

2011-08-22T13:17:00.001-07:00

Today was the Greene School's first day of school. Very thankful for the Lord and what he has called our family to do. Of course there are plenty of days that are so hard, but there are days like today that out way all the bad days. The days when things flow so well, the days I helped Hailee learn to read and now hearing her read is music to my ears, watching Heidi tell me her letters and counting... words will never describe how my heart feels during these moments and the only One who will understand is my Father (and of course my fellow HS moms). Praise God for those people who make the curriculum and those who put free HS activities out there to share with others all over the world! Here are a few pictures of our day...

I made a special breakfast... LOL! Actually Bob went and bought a special breakfast for our first day 1st grade... DONUTS!!!

Breakfast of Champions!!!

Heidi working hard using her roll paint... and yes it got on her PJs. :o)

Hailee working hard on her math... sitting at her new desk and in her new chair.

Our school room. I am beyond thankful for this house and the space it has for our family. It is still is major mess but things are beginning to come together. ;o)

A Few Fun Things Goin' On

2011-08-22T12:42:00.000-07:00

Here are the few pictures I promised from the last post I posted. These are a few pictures I have taken through our busy month. Sorry their aren't more, but like I said we have been busy. :o)

Last Wednesday we went to a small water park as a reward for Hailee finishing her reading/phonics curriculum. It was a lot of fun! Here is Heidi with "Ray". She loves these mascot type things... she is always running up to them giving them hugs.

Hailee looks thrilled... doesn't she? She never has been one that cares for these mascots, like "Ray". She just sat there keeping an eye on the tubes we had while Heidi danced with "Ray".

Here Heidi is dancing with "Ray".

Here she is again... dancin' away...

Here are the girls eating their expensive ice cream from the ice cream man.

Heidi got a Dora the Explorer ice cream and it was melting so fast.

Here is Hailee enjoying her Bubble Gum ice cream. Yes, she was posing. :o)

This picture was taken in our old house while Hailee was at Aunt Camp. Heidi loves glasses and posing with them on.

Heidi got this dog thing that came with these green glasses. She ripped the glasses off the dog and put them on herself and got on her rockin' horse.

You go girl!!!

Good Things

2011-08-19T19:59:00.000-07:00

WOW! This has been way to long... 1 WHOLE MONTH OF NO BLOGGING! Sorry :o).

Let me fill you in on some details... We closed and moved into our new house August 1 and we absolutely love it here! I am still unpacking but hoping to get most of it completed this weekend. There has been so much going on in between... Water day with our Co-Op, meeting with the head of Lifegroups (which I will go into more), finishing up Hailee's reading/phonics curriculum, trying to entertain a 6 year old and 3 year old while trying to get the house unpacked, Hailee's gymnastics classes, a visit to Splashway water park, dentist appointments, birthday parties, leadership conference with our church, and all the other little things not mentioned. I am amazed at how much junk we have accumulated in 4 years... ridiculous!

The Lord has really been stirring in my heart to get out of my comfort zone and I began to contemplate that... then came across Lifegroups that our church has for the youth. I usually just work with 3-6 year olds... that is comfortable for me. I knew this new school year I needed a break, but still wanted to serve and be part of our church leadership. I started to check into Lifegroups and met with the woman who is in charge of them and we got to meet and talk a little about Lifegroups. I signed up! I knew this was something different that would push me and help me grow. I know I will have to depend on the Lord through this time... I will abide in him.

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples." John 15:1-8

Beautiful picture of the branch and the vine as I remember back in Israel when we read this very passage and were looking at grape vines and discussing how it all worked. God is so wonderful! Tonight our church had their kick off Leadership meeting and I am all signed up to teach 10th grade girls on Sunday evenings. I am so excited!!! I can't wait to be part of God's might and power.

Now as I feel over blessed by this house and how God is leading me to these wonderful opportunities to be fruitful and disciple these young girls to be dangerous for their Lord and Savior. I can't help but wonder "What else God?"... "Is this it for right now?". About a month ago I was on Facebook and saw one of my friends mention a mission trip to India that was being scheduled again for January 2012. This trip has constantly been on my mind ever since. I finally emailed the lady leading it and found out a little more details. So, now I am just praying if the Lord wants me to go on this trip to continue to lead me, but if he doesn't to shut the doors. This evening I had the privilege to see Marty (my Rabbi), who lead me (and the group) through Israel for 10 days. I got to talk to him on what the Lord is doing in my life and I shared with him the opportunity to go to India and told him I was praying for the Lord's will and if he wants me to go on this trip to let me know. Marty said "Why?". He meant, why am I praying this. Doesn't he call us all to go out and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and teach them to obey everything God has commanded? Why am I praying "God if you want me to go..."? He wants me to go... I am now to walk by faith... walk and follow the green lights... and stop if I see a red one (like Paul in Acts when the red light came up for him not to go to Mesopotamia).

"Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:18-20

On our way home tonight I spoke to Bob about this... I told him about the conversation Marty and I had and I how I felt very strongly I should walk this path and continue. I told him we are ALL called to go to the nations and spread the good news (I do understand this looks different for everybody) and I really feel this is how the Lord wants me to do my part for his glory. Bob agreed, so I will be pursuing this mission trip and begin to plan and pray for the future.

So, if you would like to pray for me and Bob... Pray my heart would begin to prepare for what I will see and hear, pray for my quiet/Bible time to become increased, pray the Lord would provide in every way possible for this India trip, pray I would bring him glory through all I say and do, pray for Bob as he will be caring for the girls again, and pray my mom that she would be able to take time off work to come and help out like she did when I was in Israel. He has great and wonderful things planned out for all of our lives, but we have to be willing to say "Yes, Lord!" before we even know what he wants of us (this is something else Marty reminded me of this eveing). I heart that man.

I will be posting pictures very soon of everything that has been going on. Shalom!

Where's the Sun?

2011-07-26T19:58:00.000-07:00

When it rains... it pours...

This has been another crazy week and half... let me just say it is NOT easy to buy a house these days. There was none of this craziness when we bought this house 4 years ago. It was so easy! But... oh my... I have no plans to sell or buy a house again... God willing. Of course, if my God almighty has different plans then yes there will be different plans on our part. LOL! On top of this whole house situation and them wanting more money and more proof of different things... our A/C went out last Monday thankfully we were already dealing with our home warranty and an A/C company checking our A/C the week before, so it wasn't very hard to get everything lined up to get a new A/C unit. I am very thankful for our home warranty because it covered the majority of the cost. Praise God! Then this weekend we found out our garbage disposal had a crack in it, so time to replace it as well. Garbage disposals aren't much, but it was just another thing to add to the list. Then Monday morning Bob left me a note (he gets up way earlier than I) that the dishwasher was broken. Nice! One more thing... the Appliance guy came out to check out what was wrong and the pump was not working and we would need a new one. Nice! What else could I say, but replace it. LOL! It is almost to the point where I am going crazy (Bob too)... there is nothing we can do! LOL! Praise God for his provision and giving us the funds and the people to help us. I feel blessed in that part of it all. Do I like to go through this "suffering"... no, but I do like the growing and the trusting in the One that matters.

So, this evening I was cleaning up the kitchen and I was informed (by Bob) that they are trying to get us to close on our new house on Friday, July 29. HaHaHa!!! Yes, the craziness and crazy laughs are coming out again. Half of the house is packed, but the other half is not packed. LOL! I have a lot to get busy with... on top of this I am watching to news and it looks like we might get rain from a tropical storm on Friday. LOL! I think I should just go to bed... what do you think?

A glimpse of His plan

2011-07-16T07:01:00.000-07:00

If you have been following our housing situation... you will know it has been a rollercoaster ride. I began to question if God even wanted us to sell our house, but I had peace about it. Why would I feel one way one moment and feel another way another moment? I think the feelings just came on with my emotions. Praise God for his perfect provision of all our lives!

Last week, we sat and waited for people to come and look at our house. We had 2 different showings on Tuesday, July 5. It was a good day! We all had high hopes for God's divine plan, but as the week went on there were no more showings.

Sunday, came around and still no showings. I still had faith... I knew God had something planned, but who ever knows what it is... right? This could have been a plan to refine me and to teach me to completely trust in Him. I was learning to be on board with this thought... no matter how much it may hurt or be hard to just let him take care of it. Sunday evening, I called our Realtor about her new idea. They were trying to think of anything and everything on how to get our house out there. The first thing they thought of was a flyer... they would send it out to every Realtor in their ReMax office they are in (100+ Realtors) and let them know all this house has to offer. Then she brought up the idea of leasing our house. Yes, leasing... who would ever thought. Bob and I tossed around the idea and it began to seem possible. We were going to have to change loan types and go from an FHA to a Conventional loan... this meant more money down... Yikes! We kept thinking where all this money was going to come from... luckily God had this all planned out. I am not going to get into the details, but I am going to give God all the glory and praise for this one. :o)

So Monday night our house went active for lease. Crazy?... maybe? We qualified for the loan and all was good. An hour after putting our house up for lease our Realtor had a call from a lady who was ready to turn in her application... before she even looks at the property. The next day we had 5 people come look at our house and 3 applications turned in. Praise the Lord! With in 24 hours we had 3 potential tenants. Wednesday... we had 5 more people look at our house as well. That evening we sat down and went through the 3 applications from Tuesday and we picked a young couple that had moved from Austin to Houston for work. The young lady had called our Realtor that day because she was eager to know if we had picked a tenant yet... we ended up picking her, so when we called her she was happy and they were going to sign the lease agreement Friday night. I asked my Realtor "Why we didn't do this from the beginning?" She said "If we did this at the beginning the house we are wanting to buy wouldn't have been up for sell." So very true! God has this perfect plan and I am at complete Awe!

Now we are to pack pack pack... we close on our new house August 10 or sooner and the tenants of our house now are moving in August 12. I can't wait to see what else God has planned for our journey. :o) Thank you for your prayers.

3 years and counting...

2011-07-15T15:34:00.000-07:00

Heidi turned 3 years old July 6. It made me go back in time and remember how little she was and the day of her birth. She is such a special little girl and full of all kinds of spunk and sass. I say all the time "Heidi is lucky she is so stinkin' cute..." LOL! Here are some pictures of her on the day of her birthday and from her birthday party.

We got her a Tinkerbell Stylin' Set. She and Hailee can beautify each other all day long.

We also got her a preschool Uno game and Tinkerbell slippers. Yes, Heidi thinks she is Tinkerbell. :o)

Here Hailee and Heidi are helping me make cupcakes for Heidi's birthday party. Yes, they also tested the batter to make sure is was safe for our friends. :o)

Here Heidi is having a good time swimming at her party.

Here Heidi is blowing out her candles. :o)

Heidi with her sweet friend, Charlotte.

Heidi posing for the camera. She is so cute!

This is Heidi's gift from Grammy. She was so happy to have a cool stroller to push her baby around in. Thanks Grammy!

Heidi in her Chef's outfit from her friend, Sarah. Thanks Ely and Sarah!
It was a great celebration! I can't wait to see what the Lord has in the years ahead for our sweet Heidi. Praise be to God for creating Heidi and giving us the privilege to raise her.

Truth that I am holding onto.

2011-07-11T20:58:00.000-07:00

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls." 1 Peter 1:3-9

Complete Truth I am holding onto as we go through the unknown. My God, is complete. I need nothing more, but Him... I am seeking the unseen and believing in Him and His perfect plan.

Peace in the Unknown

2011-07-08T16:35:00.000-07:00

Today, I feel a lot better and I know the only reason I feel better is from my Helper and Comforter. Thank you all for praying and praying for my heart to be comforted. My heart was hard and sad, but I feel lighter and more at peace. I was looking for a certain verse where I remember reading about the Helper, but couldn't find it, but instead found these...

"There is no fear in love. But, perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us- we know that we have what we asked of Him." 1 John 5:14-15

"You who are my Comforter in sorrow, my heart is faint within me." Jeremiah 8:18

Who knows what is going to happen with our house on Victoria Lakes, but I do have comfort that it will be okay and He has a perfect plan and I can't wait to see the end result. Please continue to pray that our hearts will be with Him and on His path.

We still have faith in this weekend that their will be showings on our house. Please continue to pray with us and God perfect plan.

"These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls." 1 Peter 1:7-9

Pain in the Unknown

2011-07-07T15:38:00.000-07:00

I haven't written about what is going on with our house, because 1. I have been overwhelmed by it all, 2. It hasn't gone as planned and to be honest I feel a little embarrassed (not quite sure why I feel like this), and 3. I am hurt, mad, sad, impatient, and once again overwhelmed. So, I am going to start from the beginning....

So here in Texas (not sure how it works where you are) you have an option period of 5 or 7 days (I think). The option period is when you have the inspector come out to inspect every inch of the house and then negotiate back and forth on what you want done. The buyer for our home, his option period ended Monday, July 4 and our option period on our new house on Victoria Lakes ended Wednesday, July 6. We scheduled our inspection on our new house on Victoria Lakes on Wednesday, June 29 and we had it done. We kept waiting and waiting for the buyer of our house to schedule an appointment to have the inspection done, but never heard from him... until I got a knock on the door Friday, July 1 at about 1:00 pm. I had absolutely no idea they were coming! It was naptime for Heidi and we were not prepared to leave our home. I told the inspector this and he called the Realtor. The Realtor completely forgot 1. that she had to call the showing company to schedule an appointment and 2. that the property was still occupied. Personally, that is something you just do not forget when you are a Realtor. Anyways... thankfully the inspector was able to reschedule for Saturday morning. Talk about last minute... especially with a holiday weekend.

Saturday, the inspector came out and he did his thing. We got a call from our Realtor when they were done, so we knew when we could go home. After she told us we could go home she said "I just want to give you a heads up... the inspector spoke to the Realtor briefly about the inspection and the inspector said there were sever foundation issues." I was shocked! That wasn't even an issue we were worried about... foundation! Anyways... my mind wouldn't stop. I wanted to take action, but we weren't going to have the results of the inspection until Sunday. Nice... right? Fourth of July weekend... for you foreigners... our Independence Day... the birthday of America. :o) I had to take action, so we decided to call foundation specialists to see when the soonest they could come out. I called 4 specialist and I either left a message or spoke to someone to find out that it would be 2 weeks before someone could do an estimate.... finally I called the 4th specialist... He could come out Monday, July 4. Praise the Lord! I wanted to do more, but that was all I could do. Let me just say there has been a lot of praying.

Sunday, we were supposed to get the inspection report... the day went on and no inspection report... the day continued on and still no inspection report. Come to find out he hadn't even given it to his Realtor. The buyer was holding onto the inspection report... not sharing it with us, so maybe we could discuss and negotiate. We continued to be in the unknown... not knowing how the buyer is feeling or what he wanted to do.

Monday, 4th of July... the foundation specialist called and was coming out at 4:00 and I was instantly on the phone with our Realtor to let the buyer know that he was welcome to come out when the foundation guy comes out. So then our Realtor calls back and lets us know that the buyer is coming out and he was completely consumed by the foundation issues and the A/C (our A/C is old but still works just fine). He was scared it would go out on him... blah blah blah, but he still wanted to push on and continue to pursue our home. I felt good about that... I felt good because it made me see he had some attachment to our house... just like I am attached to the house we are going to buy. So, 4:00 pm began to roll around... then knock knock knock... the foundation specialist was here 30 min. early. I got on the phone immediately to let everyone know what was going on. Our Realtor was coming out to be there for the inspection as well. The inspector told us there was a little foundation issue BUT it was not severe and it wasn't going to cost us much to fix it. Our Realtor got there heard it all (the inspector retold what was going on) and then I said "The buyer should be here soon." Then I was told he wasn't coming. The inspector left and we all went inside to discuss what was going on. The buyer was backing out... yes, you heard it right... to make a long story short we decided to 1. fix the foundation (of course) and to get the buyer back we would 2. fix the A/C- hoping to be able to get it bought out by our home warranty. So, our Realtor called the buyers Realtor to let her know what we were purposing and to let the buyer know. She called back about 30 minutes later and he was back on board! We extended his option period 1 day so, they could get the contract all drawn up for us to sign. Oh by the way, everything has been going great and smoothly with our home we were buying on Victoria Lakes.

Tuesday came around and all day our Realtor was checking her email and checking her phone and didn't hear anything. Around 3:00 pm I got an email that was forwarded to me from my Realtor from the buyers Realtor and it was a list of 12 other things he wanted on top of the foundation fixed and new A/C. Bob and I were disgusted! We were so done with him, but we still wanted our house we had falling in love with on Victoria Lakes. As we were trying to take in this list and how he was trying to nickel and dime us for every penny... the buyers Realtor emailed our Realtor and said she would like to know if we were going to do everything on the list and if she should get the amendment paper typed up or the other contract (meaning the termination contract). We were mad... so we came back to the buyer with our negotiations. 3 options for him to pick from... he came back a few hours later and backed out. This wasn't a negotiation this turned into a demand list (on his part).

Truthfully, I feel sick by all of this... we lost the house I was dreaming about... the house I felt the Lord had waiting for us. Thankfully Wednesday when our Realtor called the Realtor on Victoria Lakes and told her about the situation and how we would like a little more time... the Realtor for Victoria Lakes went to the sellers and they gave us 5 more days to find a new buyer for our house with no charge. What a blessing... right? So, that is where we are now. Our house went back active on the market yesterday and yesterday we had 2 showings. Praise the Lord! We have heard back from one (not interested), but we haven't heard from the other Realtor (only time will tell). As we wait... I am sad... sad about a house (yes I feel stupid about being sad over a house)... I am mad... yes, I am mad at the buyer for backing out and I am mad at God for hurting me and my family with this whole situation. I have been praying and praying and praying for this whole situation.... praying for His glory and trying to give it to Him. Praying He would use me and this new house to whatever He wants it for. I just want to do His work here on this earth. I felt like I have been doing what he wants (maybe not always perfectly or it may take me a while to give something up)... maybe I am wrong. I am just sad and hurt!

Now I wait... wait for what God has planned, but I am waiting in sadness and in anger. Don't get me wrong... I know God does not always bless us in the way we think He should, but I truly thought with every being in my body that this was His plan. Maybe it still is... maybe I need to just be patient, but it is hard when my heart is hurt. Then I turn this hurt around and think it is so stupid... I think of people in Uganda and other countries, who are starving and don't have the shelter over their head like we do... I think about people in Asia and other countries, who are living for Christ and doing His work and living dangerously for Him. Here I crying and angry about a house. SO STUPID!!! But, this house was going to be used for whatever he had desired it for. GOD, WHAT DO YOU WANT OF ME? I AM HURT AND I KNOW YOU KNOW THIS... HEAL AND SOFTEN MY HEART, LORD. LEAD ME ON YOUR PATH. BLESS ME BY WHAT PLEASES YOU.

Do we die at 100??

2011-07-01T10:52:00.000-07:00

A little while ago (out of no where) I was asked by Hailee "Do we die at 100?" My reply to her was "Well... sometimes people live to be a 100, but not always." I told her, "We all die. It is part of life and God's plan." I don't think she really appreciated my answer... I think it hurt her feelings, because after that she began to sob on the couch. I was cleaning floors and heard her crying. I asked her "Are you okay?" She said "No, I don't want to die. I don't want to go to heaven." I really felt the pull of the Spirit to talk with her one on one on what she was feeling. So we went to my room and I began to ask her why she didn't want to go to heaven. Well... duh... she doesn't want to die. I told her "You are going to live a long time. You are going to go to college, get married, have babies, and watch your kids grow up." (God willing) I tried to comfort her by telling her you will live 70+ years. I said "I haven't even lived 70 years, Grammy hasn't even live 70 years, but Mommo has and look she is still alive." Hailee smiled. I think she felt a little better, so we came back to the living room to finish watching Beauty and the Beast and I continued on with my chores. As I cleaned I prayed the Lord would comfort her and maybe stir more inside of her and convict her.

So, naptime came around and I was getting Heidi ready to take a nap and I got her down. During this time Hailee has her quiet time in her room to color, play, etc. Before I left her I asked her if she was okay and she said yes. So, I left and continued on with a few things I had to tend too. I then heard her crying in her room. I went to see if she was okay and she was sobbing again. I told her to come with me, so I could sit with her and we could have a conversation. I asked Hailee "What is wrong?". She said "I want to go where you are going?". I said "Well I am going to heaven. Are you going to go to heaven?". She replied "I don't know, but I want to go where you are going." I asked her "Do you believe you are a sinner? Do you believe Jesus was sent here by God to die for your sins and my sins?" She said "Yes.". I asked her if she wanted to pray and receive Christ as her Savior and she said yes. We prayed together a sweet prayer. A prayer of thanking the Lord for this day, a prayer that she will be a mighty woman of God, a prayer she would be dangerous for her generation, and a prayer that she would grow to love Him as much as He loves her. A sweet moment of tears and joy.

As I was writing this she came out of her room (after sobbing) and began to ask me questions and saying she wants to go where I am going... she seemed very worried. We talked again... I asked her if her sin was bothering her and she nodded her head. I told her do you want to pray and ask God to forgive you of your sinful self and she said yes. She prayed a sweet quiet prayer that I couldn't really understand, but I know God could and had confidence in that. When she was done I told her you are now going to heaven with me and daddy. She said "What about Heidi?" and began to tear up. I told her "If something was going to happen to Heidi she was going to heaven. I told her God holds a special place for little ones." She cried, but that gave her comfort. She is concerned if there will be toys in heaven, if there will be food, if our eyes will be open, etc. I didn't really have answers for her (except the eye question... I said yes.) and I told her I have never been to heaven and we will just have to wait and see. :o)

This has been a glorious day! A day I have been waiting for and praying for... Praise be to God for His love and patience.

"These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls." 1 Peter 1:7-9

He blows me away...

2011-06-27T11:57:00.000-07:00

God has (and always) been doing amazing things in our lives these last few days and I really really want to share and bring Him the glory. Not quite sure of His master plan... of course, but I know He is up to something.

We have had our house on the market for 5 months! I was beginning to grow very weary and began to doubt what I thought God wanted from us. On Thursday, I started a book study at our church and the book I am reading is called Radical by David Pratt. I knew this book was going to help me by giving me a boost to live my life in a radical way, but of course I was scared. On my way home (after our first meeting with the book study) I was asking God if we were supposed to keep our house on the market. I told Him I was growing weary and just could not do it anymore. As I was in constant thought of the house and Him I realized I hadn't checked my phone to see if anyone had called (always have to check for missed calls when your house is up for sale)... so I checked and I had 12 missed calls! All the missed calls were from my husband, Bob and the showing company that calls to confirm the appointments. I quickly called Bob and he told me the house was being shown a 2nd time. I was in a panic because the house was not at all in showing appearance (beds weren't made, dishes in the sink, dog in the house, etc.). Bob told me it didn't matter... it was the 2nd showing! Well of course it doesn't matter to a man, but it surely mattered to me! LOL! Luckily, I was able to run in the house help our Realtors (who are friends of ours) chase our dog out into the backyard, make our bed, and pick up a few loose ends. I felt pretty okay by the appearance. I left... it showed... an now we wait...

During naptime/quiet time (in the middle of the day after the showing) I was able to begin reading the 1st chapter of Radical and couldn't put it down and I began to sob at the end of the chapter and prayed...

"I commit to what ever You say. I say yes to the words You will speak before I even hear them. I commit to obey to what I hear. I want to know You. I want to experience You. I want to be part of a people who delight in You like the brothers and sisters in underground Asia who have nothing but You. And I want to be part of a people who are risking it all for You. For the sake of more than a billion people today who have yet to even hear the gospel, I want to risk it all. For the sake of 26,000 children who will die today of starvation or a preventable disease, I want to risk it all. For the sake of an increasingly marginalized and relatively ineffective church in our culture, I want to risk it all. For the sake of my life, my family, and the people who surround me, I want to risk it all. In the process of hearing You, Jesus, I am compelled to take an honest look at my life, my family, and my church and not just ask, "What is he saying?" but also ask, "What shall I do?".
Amen."

This prayer scared the poo out of me and that is why I sobbed while I prayed, but it felt good to give it up. Who knows what God's plan is, but I know if I continue with His will... we will be okay.

We heard nothing all day and night about the 2nd showing... until 10:30 pm my realtor called and said we had an offer! All I could think about was... Praise God! It was a very low offer ($12,000 lower from our asking price), so we went back with a counteroffer and did that one more time and the buyer accepted an offer from us that met right in the middle. Praise the Lord!!!

So, next was attack mode! We went out on Saturday in search for a new home for us to live in so we wouldn't have to be homeless. LOL!! We looked all day!! Then the last house we looked at was PERFECT!!! It was exactly what we wanted and needed and it is in a beautiful neighborhood. The house was only on the market for 14 days and there was only one other person that had looked at it and there was talk they were going to make an offer. We rushed out of the house and quickly went over to our Realtors house and they submitted the offer. We knew we had to beat the other buyers, because we knew the seller didn't care how much you offered to who they would pick to work with, but all that mattered was who got to them first with an offer and WE DID!!! We put our offer in and got confirmation that night that they had accepted it and were going to sign the contract to get the ball rolling. Praise the LORD!!! We close in a month. Nothing can ever get in the way of His master plan.

The house has 5 bedrooms... it is awesome to have all this space and not know what to do with it all... but my thoughts are what is God going to do with those extra rooms? He has a master plan and I have already said "yes!" so, now it is time for Him to work on Bob's heart to be on board. I know nothing is to big for my BIG God!

Ocean Lapbook

2011-06-23T11:31:00.000-07:00

This is the lapbook Hailee has been working on for the last couple of weeks. I will say she did learn a few things... she learned about creators that live in the tide pools, she learned about her 5 senses... well really that they are called your 5 senses LOL!, she learned about sea gulls, and we did a science experiment yesterday on salt water and fresh water and which one an egg would float in. Pretty nifty! And to top this all off it was FREE from www.homeschoolshare.com. This is the BEST website ever because it gives you FREE ideas and instrustions on how to liven up your homeschooling. Anyways... I hope you enjoy!

Here is the inside of the lapbook

Hailee recaping what she learned about Sea Gulls.

This was fun and I look forward to doing another lapbook soon.

Help Fill the Van!

2011-06-22T07:07:00.000-07:00

I have mentioned this family in previous blogs, but this one is a PLEA! A plea to HELP them raise enough money to get the 3 children they have been given by the LORD home. You can donate $10 and get entered to win an iPad2! We make these gambles everyday with our money... please consider given to them. You can also see to the left of the blog all that the money has and will be going toward.

CLICK HERE: Help Fill the Van!!!!

Live it out...

2011-06-20T11:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I began my adventure of living 'dangerously' for the Lord. As I posted in my last post there was an opportunity to go out and help the homeless of Houston. After church, we went out with 4 cars full of gallon jugs of frozen/cold water (over 100 jugs) and headed downtown to where the homeless hang out and live. We parked our cars in this empty parking lot and they all began to walk towards us. They were all very kind, courteous, and very thankful. One man was telling us "Our water is the best!". "Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them." John 7:38. Another man was asking if we had a Bible. God is truly revealing to us the needs for His people... water, ritz crackers and trail mix, and Bibles. Praise be to the LORD God almighty for His provision and the Holy Spirit that abides in us.

This morning I was talking to a good friend of mine, who I pray with and we were talking about this family who is adopting 3 orphans from the Ukraine area (there donation button is on the top left hand side of my blog called bring Elliot home).Really though... they were initially adopting 1 child, but when they went a few weeks ago to the Ukraine to visit with Elliot and get paper work in order they found 2 other little ones that they were convinced were theirs as well. Anyways... to make a long story short, my friend and I were talking about how the people who are 'taking care' of Elliot don't believe in the sanctity of life and believe Elliot doesn't have anything to give and is worthless. This tug at my heart to tears. It made me think and realize there are so many kids in this world that aren't given a chance... a chance to be the full potential that God made them to be, because there are people holding them back and not giving them the chance to know what love is. "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14. Nothing God does is by accident... NOTHING!

My heart breaks for kids like this... so know I ask God "What does this mean?"... "What do you want of me!?".

"I call with all my heart; answer me, LORD,
and I will obey your decrees.
I call out to you; save me
and I will keep your statutes.
I rise before dawn and cry for help;
I have put my hope in your word.
My eyes stay open through the watches of the night,
that I may meditate on your promises.
Hear my voice in accordance with your love;
preserve my life, LORD, according to your laws.
Those who devise wicked schemes are near,
but they are far from your law.
Yet you are near, LORD,
and all your commands are true.
Long ago I learned from your statutes
that you established them to last forever." Psalm 119:145-152

Living Dangerously

2011-06-18T12:28:00.000-07:00

I have said before that I feel like my calling is for the lost... to speak the truth or read the truth along side them. To be a light of God in darkness. I yearn to live dangerously for the Lord. I wonder what the Lord wants of me... Does He want me to be dangerous here in my hometown? Does He want me to travel to other nations and be dangerous for His Truth there? I have so many questions... I truly believe the answer is "YES!" for both.

I need to put myself out there more in my community. I wonder "How?"... for instance we (my family) are going out Sunday after church to give the homeless water... not just any water... COLD FROZEN GALLON JUGS!! It is so hot here in Houston! Just going in and out of a store takes your breath away and you begin to sweat. A friend of mine came up with an idea from the Spirit as she was riding her bike in this heat and was dying of thirst. She then emailed a few of us to see if we were interested in providing water and delivering it to the homeless. Praise the Lord for her and how in-tune she is to the prompting of the Holy Spirit.

I have felt for a while now that I want to go to the nations and spread the good news of our Lord Jesus Christ, but not really sure where to go from here. Actually it is more than a "I want too." it is more like I feel the pulling and tugging to make it happen... but I also feel a little apprehensive. The reason for this post is because I watched a video that a pastor from our church put together. Click 'here' to watch it. So beautiful and it stirs something inside of me.

If you would like and don't mind... pray for me. Pray the Lord would reveal what He wants of me and give me the discernment to understand His leading. Thanks so much!

Sovereignty

2011-06-13T19:36:00.000-07:00

Lately my thoughts have been consumed by God's sovereignty (I hope I am using this word correctly). There have been different situations going on lately and through every situation I have been reminded through friends how sovereign He is. Then it makes me think about how love sick our sovereign God is of us. Yes, things happen in our life that hurt so bad we question His goodness, but He continues to always be there to hold us up and collect our tears... He is never changing.

I am overwhelmed by the unspeakable name of God. I shouldn't even be able to speak His name because of my sinful self. I am not deserving to speak His name... but because of His sovereignty, grace, and mercy I am given this freedom and opportunity and He loves me just the same. I have been given this insight (if you will) of my nasty sin that I do EVERY SINGLE DAY... I repent more and more everyday and I am more aware of this unpleasing and sadding of God's heart. Not that I will ever know how I displease Him, but I am thankful for the Spirit which is convicting but comforting all at the same time.

I have been looking for this Bible verse that I came across the other night, but CAN NOT find it (so irritating!). I have been so determined to find this verse, but still can not. I keep thinking it was in 1 or 2 Timothy, but I just can not find it. Anyways... so now I am trying to find the 2nd most perfect verse, but then I have realized there is no such thing. They are all PERFECT!! His word is unspeakably wonderful perfect loving and full of comfort.

Preschool Lapbooks

2011-06-09T18:23:00.000-07:00

I am completely in love with 1+1+1=1. It's the most wonderful blog that provides all kinds of FREE preschool "school" work for Heidi and Hailee enjoys doing some of the activities as well! Here are some pictures of Heidi with her 2 lapbooks she has completed in the last couple of days. She LOVES having "school" work to do, so she can be just like Hailee. Enjoy!

Heidi putting away her alphabet cards in the pocket.

Here is a picture of Heidi's first lapbook. All about Dora :o)

Heidi reading about Dora and Boots. She looks at the pictures and tells me the story.

Heidi's second lapbook about sea animals. I was totally impressed that she new her numbers.

Here she is telling me how many sea animals are on the page.

She is VERY proud of her work!

Hailee is working on a sea creature lapbook as well, but her book takes a little more time. I will post pictures of it when it is completed. :o)

Sea World- God's Creations

2011-06-07T19:17:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we went to Sea World and I couldn't stop thinking about God's beautiful creation as I looked at these beautiful creators.

I love this picture. This dolphin thought I had more food because the reflection of my camera.

Beautiful eyes.

Hailee and Heidi waiting to watch a Sea Lion show.

Waiting to watch Shamu.

I was amazed by how high these enormous animals could jump from the water. So powerful!

Daddy and his girls.

I LOVED feeding the dolphins!

My favortie marine life mammal... the Beluga whale. The most beautiful animal!

Look at the Beluga whale puch his trainer. Love it!

Daddy helping Hailee reach the tall spots to restrict the water from coming down.

Heidi and daddy with their cheezy smiles. :o)

It's all about Giraffes and Stickers

2011-05-31T17:22:00.000-07:00

Today was the day we were waiting for... meeting Heidi's Pediatric GI doctor. It was a good day. Nothing really new, but it is a step closer to figuring this all out. It all started off as any first visit would... we went over everything from when this all began, all that has gone on in between the 2 months, and what is going on now. Dr. Jensen talked about the tests that we all ready have done in the ER and he said those all came back great/negative, he also talked about what he wants to do now... more blood work and A LOT of poop tests. We got the blood work done already and now it is up to Heidi to do the rest and I will finish it up (she poops and I scoop it out). Nice right? He is going to test for all he can this way (with the blood and poop) before going to plan 'B'- the more risky procedures. If for some reason the tests come back negative and she is still having the tummy pains we will have to consider plan 'B'- x-rays with the dye she swallows and scoping (possibly both ends). There are risks with both of these procedures, but I am not going to get into them right now. I will if it comes to that, but until then PRAY. Pray that God would heal this sweet child and that he would remove her pain. That is all I can think of right now... HEALING! He can... no doubt about that. Will you pray with me?

Here is a picture of Heidi in her cute giraffe robe. Children hospitals are a lot better then the regular hospitals. I believe if all hospitals were like kid hospitals that we would all get better faster or maybe just be happier when we are in the hospital. All the colors are just so positive and fun to look at.

The title of this post is "It's all about Giraffes and Stickers" because literally it was... cute giraffes on the robe and stickers after she gave blood. She was looking forward to a sticker or sucker. I wish we (as adults) would get motivated by something so little as a sucker or a sticker. Simple.

Prayer for Heidi

2011-05-29T18:20:00.000-07:00

I haven't shared this on my blog, so some of you know but some of you do not. Heidi has been having stomach pains everyday through out the day, diarrhea (of and on), and a little vomiting since I was in Israel. It has been 2 months of this. We have been going to her Pediatrician since I got back from Israel and we have done all kinds of tests and they all come back negative. We have had 3 different tests done on her poop, blood tests, and ultrasound done and NOTHING!

A week ago Friday I took Heidi to the emergency room because Heidi's tummy was hurting her so bad and it was hurting for 3 hours. Of course when we got to the ER she was better. LOL! We continued... she actually still had stomach pains the whole time we were there. The blessing of that visit was we got the bloodwork and ultrasound all done at once. But, nothing really came out of the visit... which is good... nothing life threatening is going on with her, but no answers.

Here is a picture of Heidi and I laying in her bed watching a movie in the hospital.

Next is an appointment with a pediatric GI on Tuesday. I am hoping for answers or some kind of direction on what to do now. Even if we have to eliminate almost everything from her diet and gradually add things back in. I am all about trying to figure out what is causing my baby so much pain.

If you would like to pray for Heidi I would really appreciate it. You can pray for comfort and healing for her, pray for the doctors and their wisdom and knowledge that only God can provide, and pray for God's will and His perfect plan. Pray for Bob and I as we go through this... pray for our strength and unity during a stressful time of the unknown. Thanks so much, friends. Shalom to you all!

Hosanna! Hosanna!

2011-05-19T11:38:00.000-07:00

I am learning new things about God's character and myself lately. As you know I am learning to forgive. Not just any old forgiveness... I am learning about the forgiveness the Lord calls us to forgive with. Make sense? But, as I have been forgiving others and asking for others to forgive me I have forgotten about or not known to forgive myself. I am good about beating myself up about a certain issue that has hurt others.

Last night our church had a worship service called Unhurried Worship. I love it when there is time to be with just God in the middle of the week! It is like a cool refreshment after being thirsty for the last 3 days (or longer). It was a blessing, because I was so THIRSTY!!!

My prayer for a while has been "Lord, Heal my heart and make it clean. Open up my eyes to the things unseen. Show me how to love like You have loved me. Break my heart for what breaks Yours...Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause as I walk from earth into eternity."

As I poured my heart out last night to the Lord I realized He has been doing this... He is answering my prayer even if I haven't know it. It really clicked after the forgiveness issue I have been having and the hurting others and the unforgiveness for myself. I have felt the sickness in my stomach because He is giving me a glimmer of how He feels. He has been breaking my heart for what breaks His. I believe He does this to me all the time and I think that is one of the reasons I cry all the time, because I feel the saddness and the brokeness.

One of the things I hope I never lose is this softened heart and the flowing of tears. It makes me better and makes me search for the Lord as I go through struggles. I praise my Lord and Savior for healing my blindness, for healing my deafness, for healing my lameness and giving me the ability to be able to walk in the Truth, and for waking me up from the dead. Praise be to Jesus!

Saddened by Myself

2011-05-16T11:24:00.000-07:00

Is that even possible to be saddened by yourself? Well I am. My heart hurts because of myself.

My last post was on forgiveness and how I am learning to say sorry sincerely. Not that I didn't know how to say sorry sincerely before, but it feels different these days. God is doing good works inside me and I like it.

But, now I have hurt someone even closer to me (my dad). I am not going to get into the details or anything, because the details are not the point of the matter. But, it hurts down deep. I called him and we were having small talk and then I asked him if he was upset with me and I brought up a few reasons why I felt like he was upset with me. He told me that it wasn't so much upset, but that I put him a few awkward positions a few times because of something I did (that he didn't really approve of from the beginning). I apologized and told him that it was my intention to hurt him, but I thought it would have been okay (and I gave him one reason why I did what I did). He said he knew it wasn't intentional and that is why he never brought it up. But, for some reason my heart hurts and my stomach is turning upside down.

I feel sick. But, this feeling doesn't make sense because I felt like what I did ("that upset him") was from the Lord. I felt like I was doing what I felt like the Lord was leading me to do. I felt like what I did was promise I felt like the Lord promised me and it was! But, somehow it has hurt a few people. I guess I feel sick because I was asked to do something and I did it, but some how it has hurt others. How am I supposed to handle this feeling?

I just don't know. All I do know is that I was obedient in apologizing and was forgiven. Thank you Lord for teaching me forgiveness and for your Son who was sent to die for all of our sins and for loving me with Your undying love and covering me with forgiveness.

Learning about... Forgiveness

2011-05-11T19:11:00.000-07:00

I am learning... learning about forgiveness. This is an everyday struggle. A struggle to be obedient, loving, and compassionate through every circumstance.

If you didn't know today is my birthday and it started off rough. I upset someone by not even knowing I upset her until she kind of ripped me a new one. Maybe she was tired or irritated by someone else, but in the end I was the one that hit her breaking point.

From the very first part of my day today (when I was getting ready this morning) I was reminded about boasting about myself (to myself) and self-seeking gratification. I started this day off thinking about all these things and struggling with and then I got my butt kind of chewed out and all I could think was "This is not all my fault!" "She should have called me!" "She should have let me know earlier so I didn't caller her so late!" "This is not my fault at all!". We didn't really talk this morning and you could tell there was something between us not right. I began to feel bad for my thoughts and was brought back to this morning and remembering thanking the Lord for my salvation, the breath in my lungs, and for His leading. I felt like crap! I was self-seeking AGAIN! This was not about me, but her. I needed to apologize.

Before, we left I apologized... I sincerely told her I was sorry and I didn't not mean to upset her. And you know what... she was very thankful and forgave me. WOW!!! He brought me down to remind me how He forgives me every single day and I could at least be understanding and forgiving towards a friend, a believer, and another creation from the Creator.

I love learning these tough lessons, because I know it brings me closer to Him, my Father in heaven and that is all I want to do until the day I die.

Tears of Joy

2011-05-09T12:30:00.000-07:00

I had to share to good news. Do you remember the young lady I told you about that I have been talking with through Global Media Outreach? If not, here is the story. Well our conversations have been going very well. Here is an update on her and her journey...

Hi!

My email account is giving me a bit of trouble, the entire computer is giving trouble i think its viruses. Hence the reason for the reply of an old message.

Happy Mothers Day to you. I know its one day after but still to me, everyday should be Mothers Day. As pertaining to my Family. I couldnt love them any more. I guess an do believe we all say things when we're angry. It amy not always be right, but we always regret it no matter what.

I love them no matter what, and they all know that. Things are great. My mom had a great day yesterday, my family came together as one and it made me smile with no ending. I would really like you to meet them one day. I havent told anyone about you as yet, well except God. He alone knows.

I keep you dear and close to my heart, as one of my own. I sure do hope you had a great day yesterday with lots of love.

Accepting Jesus into my life, has made proud, sincere, it has made me open my eyes, heart and mind to life. He has made me unstoppable, unafraid and true to him. There' nothing that comes my way, and i cant deal with it.

When i was with my previous boyfriend, i clung to him. And everytime we had arguments, i kept on running back to him. I felt like love was everything, and he was the one. But God opened my eyes, to his way. I read in the testament, that men and open before marriage not even suppose to touch each other. You know when you sit and think about all this, it makes sense.

When two people are getting married, you hear the pastor say ' you may now kiss your bride'. Thats sacred in God's eyes, and should be kept that way by both man and woman. The Lord God only wants what's best for his children. Which parent would look down on their child and lead them in the wrong direction. God' way is the best way.

As such, ive decided to keep his way and follow it for the rest of my glorious life, now and even when i meet him. The next relationship i enter, which i know is not anytime soon, this is how its going to be. Ive made some new friends, and lost some old ones because of my decision. But i do know that the road to righteosness may not be easy or the simplest way ahead.

Ive accepted him, and is heading towards glory, and im taking everyone i love with me, including you.

Have a great day my friend.

I am completely over joyed and feel overwhelmingly (is this even a word?) blessed! God has done miracles in this young ladies life. She has chosen Him and I am sure the Lord's heart is bursting with joy. Praise be to the glory of God forever and ever!

The Greatest is Love

2011-05-05T11:46:00.000-07:00

Lately I have diving into scripture... I started reading through Acts and then came upon the chapters written about Thessalonica, Corinth, and Ephesus, etc. and really felt I should stop and read the letters Paul wrote to those churches. Last night I finished 1 Corinthians and was blown away... I felt like I was being spoken to. I guess really that is what is supposed to happen when you read God's holy word... right? LOL!

But really... we will never understand the very words of God written in the Bible. It will always mean different things to me and you during different time in our lives. When I was going through 1 Corinthians I underlined verses that were meaningful to me now and how it could benefit others in my walk with the Lord.

If I am to be a follower of Christ I am to believe and follow the very word of God that I read... right? So why are so many of these not being followed through in my life. My life is now about living it out to bring glory and honor to Him, but then I fall short in so many areas. I let my flesh get in the way.

I have seen a change in myself though... just how I think about people and how my thoughts have changed. I try to have that love and compassion for others as Jesus had while so many were against Him and He continued to love them and pray for them. It is so hard to love and pray for others that are hard to love. I tend to put those people on the back burner. It is so hard, when you don't see any fruit or a glimmer of the Spirit, to continue to love on them. You know?

I think the big thing the Lord is working on in me is to be loving. Loving no matter what the circumstance. If I ever talk to you about love... now you know why. Love is one of the very top things we are asked to do.... ever since the beginning of the New Testament, so obviously it is important. I believe you can love like a child loves and love firmly too. I believe it all can be put together to come across in a loving manner. Does that make sense? And I believe also, we can only love this perfectly through Christ and with His help... never could be accomplished on our own.

I know most of you have read these verses before and so have I, but it means something a little bit different to me these days... "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is no rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. "And now those three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13

Never Ending Conviction... Now I Am Free.

2011-04-28T20:18:00.000-07:00

Since returning from Israel I am filled up... filled up to the overflowing point. I was completely filled with peace, love, and faith. I am on fire for my Father! But, now I am feeling like a lost sheep. I know my Shepard is near I can feel Him, but for some reason I can't hear Him.

Last night Heidi (my youngest) was up crying off and on and after I got up with her to console her I was wide awake. I could have come in the living room turned on the light and opened my Bible, but instead I headed back to bed and asked the Lord to reveal someone I could pray for while awake. My name was instantly put in my mind... I was thinking "Okay God whatever." So I prayed for myself and then moved on to a few others I began to think about and prayed for them. Then this morning I was overwhelmed by convictions that I had not tended too. Does that make sense? The Lord has been revealing to me a few things I have been needing to change in my life, but keep putting off or justifying it in my mind. One of those convictions was getting rid of our cable TV. I keep thinking "Everyone (not really everyone) has cable why can't I have cable." or "I don't watch the bad stuff, so why can't we keep it... I think we can." When I woke up this morning I felt very uneasy and knew what I had to do.

After school this morning I call Dish Network and canceled the cable. The cable people I talked to were very confused why I was disconnecting my cable and kept asking me if I just wanted to down grade or if I had billing issues and if i did they would give me $10 of my bill for a year. LOL! (funny huh?) I said "No no no... we have been satisfied with Dish Network, but decided we didn't need it anymore in our home." They left it at that and said okay.

All I can say is it felt good to be obedient. It always does feel good, so why do I push so hard against the Lord when I know He has a good reason for everything He tells me to do. I just don't understand why my flesh has to get in the way when I love Him so much and trust Him. Very irritating! :o)

There is one more thing that I am dealing with but not quite sure how to write about it, so I will be writing on this topic soon but not right now. I need to pray about it and figure out what the Lord wants. If not said correctly it could really hurt people and that is not what I want and that is not what we as believers in Christ are called to do.

Until then my friends... Shalom.

Blasphemy at its Worse!

2011-04-23T09:15:00.000-07:00

My Gobal Media Outreach Community Leader shared this with me yesterday and I thought I would share it with y'all. It really makes you think about other people in this world and us as believer's in Christ.

"This Easter Sunday in San Francisco's Delores Park, Christianity-spoofing homosexual drag queen "nuns" calling themselves the "Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence" will stage their annual "Hunky Jesus" contest -- mocking the Savior of the world, Jesus Christ -- as shirtless men in "crucifixion" costumes parade on stage in an atmosphere of haughty, homoerotic humor.
The profane and shockingly insensitive spectacle illustrates the secular, pro-"gay" Left's hypocrisy in demanding "respect" for homosexuals and transsexuals -- even as they cynically mock Christ and true religion on the holiest day of the year for Christians, says Peter LaBarbera, president of Americans For Truth About Homosexuality (AFTAH).

"There's nothing that delights arrogant, pro-homosexual liberals more than making fun of Bible-believing Christians -- as evidenced by this blasphemous Easter 'contest,'" LaBarbera said. "Of course, it goes without saying that these defiant champions of 'tolerance and diversity' wouldn't dare hold a 'Hunky Muhammad' contest during Ramadan -- so it seems even envelope-pushing, in-your-face, pro-perversion libertines know their limits. (Muslims: beware: LGBT activists will end up hating you as much as they hate Christians.)"

This saddens my heart deeply. That just because they don't know anything about Jesus or maybe hurt by a church or maybe even feel discriminated by the church (which is also very sad) that they think it is right to treat the Lord in this manner. He is holy of all holies and they are so lost they could never ever imagine what they are doing and saying.

Why?

2011-04-15T20:27:00.000-07:00

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Romans 5:1-5

These verses have been rolling around for about a month. It first started in Israel and now it continues to this day. I have felt like people have been in need of these verses lately... even myself.

Why?!? I am going to have to wait and see...

My Prayer

2011-04-14T11:17:00.000-07:00

Dear Lord,

I am consumed by the thought of what You have for me. I want it so badly and I feel I am ready. Maybe that is the thing... maybe You know I am not ready.

I am ready to dive in to helping build Your kingdom and glory. But, what and where do I go with this? Lord, I need the discernment and clarity that only You can give.

I am struggling. Struggling with the lost. Struggling with the right words to speak to them, with love. I want them all to know You and call You Father, but they make it so hard. I pray for their faith and to just take You as perfect as You are. I pray their hearts will be softened to hear Your still small voice.

I am saddened for the hurting. So many hurting these days. Lord, give me compassion and the never ending love for them. Give me the words to pour on them as they hurt and I pray You would comfort them with those words.

Lord, I am HERE and READY!! My cup is overflowing. Overflowing to the point where I have plenty to share and love on others. Put me in that "uncomfortable" position... where all I can do is lean on You. I love you so so much!

In Your strong loving name, Amen.

Sitting and Waiting...

2011-04-11T12:45:00.000-07:00

As I sit and wait on the Lord to lead me on my next journey... I feel a stir inside of me. And I pray out to Him... "What is it Lord? How do you think I can do that? There is no way! I am not smart enough or been a believer long enough. I can not do this without You! If this is what You want I know I can accomplish it. Okay, I am ready! Whatever you want Lord I will do... just open the doors and I will follow You. You know me best!" "See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hand; your walls are ever before me." Isaiah 49:16 I am scared to death on what He wants of me! Not the type of scared where I can't do it, but the scared that I don't know how I am going to do it without Him. Now I wait... and see if the doors will open. Jesus said "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom in heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same was they persecuted the prophets who were before you." Matthew 5:3-12 This is Mount of Beatitudes where Jesus taught the crowd.

Thinkin' Today

2011-04-08T11:36:00.000-07:00

I was reading a bit of the very word's of God and began to think about the upcoming holiday (Easter). Not so much Easter, but Passover and all that went on during the Passover meal with the 12 disciples. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall. I think I like the Gospel of John best when describing the before and after Passover. I came across this passage today and it really made me think... Then Jesus cried out, “Whoever believes in me does not believe in me only, but in the one who sent me. The one who looks at me is seeing the one who sent me. I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness. “If anyone hears my words but does not keep them, I do not judge that person. For I did not come to judge the world, but to save the world. There is a judge for the one who rejects me and does not accept my words; the very words I have spoken will condemn them at the last day. For I did not speak on my own, but the Father who sent me commanded me to say all that I have spoken. I know that his command leads to eternal life. So whatever I say is just what the Father has told me to say.” John 13:44-50 It made me think about Jesus and His crying out and how sad He must have been. I wonder, "Why was this denial from the Jews any different from any of the other denials, that He was Messiah?", but Jesus knew what was coming. He knew He soon was going to be dying for all these people, who were not accepting Him. I can't even imagine how He was feeling. All He did was show His chosen people love and all they showed Him was hate. Sometimes (a lot of the time) I wish He would have told everyone He was the Messiah! Earlier today I was reading John 5 to the girls and was blown away by what I read... "And the Father who sent me has himself testified concerning me. You have never heard his voice nor seen his form, nor does his word dwell in you, for you do not believe the one he sent. You study[a] the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life. “I do not accept glory from human beings, but I know you. I know that you do not have the love of God in your hearts." John 5:37-42 It is still like this to this day... the Jews do all that was commanded of them by Moses, but believe Jesus was fake and was just a man. It breaks my heart for them, because if they did believe in Jesus they would be so very righteous in the eyes of God. They would bring Him so much glory... it would be beyond words. What are your beliefs? Do you believe He was just a man? Or do you believe He is the Messiah? Don't put God in a box! If He is big enough to lead Moses and all the Jews out of Egypt and the desert for 40 years or to speak to Noah and convince him what he needed to do and to get 2 of every animal (the list could go on). Why would God not be big enough to bring His Son to earth to mingle with all of us sinners? Just makes me think.

Blessed Beyond Measures (home from Israel)

2011-04-03T17:51:00.000-07:00

I am finally getting around to blogging about my experience in Israel. It was such a wonderful down to earth experience that I needed. Words will never be able to describe the beauty, teaching, or change in my soul that has happened. I thought I would post a few pictures to let you see a little bit of God and His beautiful handy work. Here we are at Azekah looking down on the Valley of Elah where David killed Goliath. To the left of the picture is where it all came down. To the right of the mountain is where the stream would be where David collected his 5 stones to kill Goliath with. As we looked down into the valley we were asked "What stone has God given you to throw?" and "What is your Goliath?" As our tour guide, Marty was telling the story of David and telling us a little more about a Shepard and his duties. I was watching this young man below us herd and tend to his sheep. The sheep know the Shepard's voice only and to keep the sheep all together (where he wants them) he will throw rocks near the sheep to make them listen and move. The Shepard did just that and as the sheep wasn't listening the rocks got bigger and bigger. It was so great! This is the Cave of Adullam. Who would have thought the Lord would have spoken to me in this cave with swarming bees and pigeons everywhere but He did! I was able to read Psalm 57 in this very cave (square foot square meter) where David fled from Saul and he wrote Psalm 57. "I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. For great is Your love, reaching to the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let Your glory be over all the earth." It is very powerful to read something so moving in the very place it took place. I had to share this photo with you taken at Lachish (2 Kings 18:5-8 and 18:17-25) because it is just the beginning of the beauty of God's holy land. Really none of these pictures turned out to what it really looked like, but this is as close as I could get. God, You are breath taking! Another piece of beauty... the Salt Sea (or Dead Sea). This is what we saw from the deck of our hotel room. Simply Beautiful! Here we are at Arad and as we were on an adventure (not knowing what was ahead) we came across these sheep being herded in the desert. You can't see it so well... but one of the Shepard's is on the back of a donkey and when you see a donkey, camel, or horse it means the family has some wealth. This day we were being taught about hospitality... you never know you might be entertaining an angel. To much to our surprise we were led to the home of Bedouins. Genesis 24:18-19. They see you from a far and begin to prepare HOT sweet tea for you (which was delicious) and a type of flat bread. There were 19 of us and they welcomed us with open arms. "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves, Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality." Romans 12:9-13 This is a young girl, Rachel who was in my group with her lovely family. She is such a sweet spirit and I pray I can continue to be friends with her and her family forever. Love her! This day was the hardest day physically. This picture was taken at the top of Masada. It took us (the back of the pack) 50 minutes to climb up this mountain/plateau (there was a lot of praying going on has we climbed to the top), but we all made it and we got to see all God's beauty from above. Masada. It was hard, but so worth it! I really felt God pulling me up that mountain. :o) Here are the deer of Israel. They are called Ibex. When you see written in the text something about a deer or the feet of a deer this is what the very words of God is speaking about. A small dainty thing. "He makes my feet like the feet of a deer..." Psalm 18:33 (Do you see the baby?) Here is En Gedi. There was a bigger waterfall we could have gone to, but Marty decided against it since we had some older folks with us who wouldn't be able to make it. Which was fine, because this was breath taking. This was a beautiful picture of living water. Marty also reminded us of Numbers 20:1-12 and told us all water comes out of rocks in Israel. Makes you think, huh? "They will neither hunger nor thirst, nor will the desert heat or the sun beat down on them. He who has compassion on them will guide them and lead them beside springs of water." Isaiah 59:10. Then we were asked, "Are you refreshing?" and "Where are your En Gedi's in your life?". Oh... this place... Mount Arbel. Luke 6:12-19 or Mark 3:13-19. Yes... this is it! I will not question it. The Lord my God was here 2000 year ago... praying for his disciples, called his disciples, and where he spoke and healed the diseased. Beautiful and beyond words. (that is the Sea of Galilee behind me). Here we sat on the Sea of Galilee on the most uncomfortable basalt rocks EVER! As we sat here John 21:1-11 was brought to life. You might ask "How do you know it happened there?". Well my friend there are 7 warm springs (Tabgha) coming up from under the lake and it makes the water warm and where there is warm water there is algae and where there is algae there are fish. "But now I will send for many fishermen." declares the LORD, "and they will catch them. After that I will send many hunters, and they will hunt them down on every mountain and hill and from the crevices of the rocks." Jeremiah 16:16 We got to go out on a boat on the Sea of Galilee and have our morning devotional. It was WONDERFUL! Here is Gamla. The home of Zealots. The Zealots were very passionate people, but passionate with swords and would kill. Jesus is a very confusing guy because He had traits of being a Zealot, but His passion was not with a sword but with love. Jesus also picked a Zealot as one of his disciples his name was Simon. Then we were asked, "Who are the zealots of today?" and "Who has that passion?" This picture is of a original Synagogue on the side of Gamla where Jesus taught. We were not able to go down there (for unknown reason), but that is okay. Mount Beatitudes. Matthew 5:1-12 (square foot square meter). We have a love sick God... "In a desert land he found him, in a barren and howling waste. He shielded him and cared for him; he guarded him as the apple of his eye." Deut. 32:10. "Record me lament; list my tears on your scroll-- are they not in your record?" Pslam 56:8. "You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace." Song of Solomon 4:9 Here is a fun little picture taken at Bethsaida. It was so beautiful as the sun set. And most of all the most interesting fact I found out about was Peter, Andrew, James, and John (possibly Philip too) came from Bethsaida. It makes me think about how great this place must have been. Beautiful picture. We walked over a hill and we came to this this huge discovery... Beth She'an. We oohhhed and Awwwed over this find. I think we were all blown away by how much was found and dug up, but still we were brought down to earth when Marty said something like "Y'all ooohhhed and awwwed over this pagan capital more than a place like Capernaum.". This really made me think... this is our world. We ooohhh and awww at everything BIG and FANCY, but why? Why is it BIG or go home? "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it, But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." Matthew 7:13-14 I thought this picture would be entertaining and give you a little chuckle. These pieces of marble sticking out of the wall are 3rd century toilets. The people would daily come in here and do their business together with food being offered to them and a orchestra playing their favorite tunes. The one good thing about these marble toilets are... they were so cool and cooled me down quickly. I posted this picture because WOW! Isn't it beautiful? I would have never ever thought in a million years Israel would look like this... it was so green and lush. This was the city of Susita, Dacapulas. It was a very pagan city. Then we were brought to 1 Corinthians 1:26-29 Still in Susita... read Mark 5:1-20. Yes... that is right... Legion shared his testimony and by 749 AD all of Decapulas was Christian. So powerful! Just think of what we could do by sharing our story... we could do powerful things all in the name of Jesus. Yes... I know we could! The Lord had been working inside of me all week... this was it! Marty gave us some one on one time with the Jordan if we had something to give to the Lord and to let it go and give it up. I used it... I let it go. I let my anger, yelling, unloving, and control issues go and they went floating down the rapids of the Jordan. That was it... relief! Joshua 3:14-17. It felt good to be at such a beautiful place and to let it go and give it to God. God made this the Meditterranean Sea. Just breath taking... This was a very special moment. This church is in the Old City of Jeruselem. Marty had us walk in the church very quiet. He had us step up on the steps in the front and turn toward the pews and he had us sing. I can't remember the first song, but the second song was 'Amazing Grace'. I could not stop the tears from rolling down my face. All I could think about was how thankful I am for my salvation and so very thankful for Christ's undying love for me. Temple Mount, Dome on the Rock. 2 Chronicles 3:1. I am posting this picture to help you understand why we should pray for Israel and why we are asked to pray for Jerusalem, because the Muslims are taking over. Soon they will out number all the Jews and take over. They will make it to where the Jews will never be rememebered... that they will be forgotten about. This cannot happen... Jesus was a Jew. Why would God want the Jews to be demolished? He doesn't! It is up to us to do all we can to pray and reach out to Israel any way we can. These people are so special and I will get to this more down in my post. The Western Wall, which use to be the Wailing Wall, but once they became a nation the name was changed to Western Wall. Isn't that a beautiful picture. God's holy people coming to Him in an intimant and passionate way. All different "denominations" of Jews coming together for one purpose. Shema- "Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might." Deuteronomy 6:4-5. This is my new and forever thing... to remember to live it. I got a ring made and Shema is written in Hebrew on it... this is a remembrance, a promise to God on what my life should always and forever be. "These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:6-9. Yes they do this and they are serious. I think we as Christians/believers in Chirst take it all for granted. We like keeping God in our box because we feel safe, but in the end we need to use the Jews as examples... on putting it out there for all to see. It should all be for the glory of the Lord. I was really blown away by these women. Especially by the woman standing up with her hand over her face. All I can say is passionate! My last and most wonderful moment in Israel. The Western Wall... praying at the wall, hearing the tears, loud prayers spoken in Hebrew, and most of all the peace of the Lord God almighty!!! He poured His perfect peace over me... the perfect peace of knowing when I go home that I will be okay.... that He will continue to be with me and give me the strength to go home and grow and share my testimony and love on others. Here is my group... they were all so wonderful! Every single person made a very special impact on my life and I will never forget them. Especially Marty, the group leader... he is such a special man and doesn't even know it. I could tell him all day long how much he means to me, all he taught me, thank him for sharing his gift... and he would just smile and knod his head and say "Well... thank the Lord." Such a humble loving man. I can't wait to go with him again with the rest of my family, God willing.

Leaving U.S. Soil

2011-03-22T10:44:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow is the BIG day! I leave for JFK tomorrow morning and then leave for Tel Aviv that night. I pray the Lord reveals himself to me that I have never before experienced. I never would have thought in a million years this would be me traipsing off to an unknown land to me by myself without any family. Yes, I am going with a group, but I do not know these people... BUT I do know these people will quickly become my family. This I am very grateful for.

Satan is trying to creep in and build fear inside of me with all that is going on in the world, but I know for sure that this is God's plan for me. He wants me to go and be with Him one on one in His country. I was telling Hailee this morning that I was leaving tomorrow and I will see where Jesus was when He was here on this earth and how I am going to see where He walked and where He was born, etc. Her eyes got really big and she just starred at me. I can't wait to come back and share all of what I have seen with her.

This is going to bring to life so many things to me... I am also praying the Lord completely change me so, when I come home I will be a good example of Christ's love to my family and to be able speak with undying kindness. So many things are going through my head, but most of all I can't wait to get to Israel. You will hear from me when I got home. :o)

Much Love my friends!

What Would You Say??

2011-03-16T19:13:00.000-07:00

Hello Friends. As you all know I am an online missionary with Global Media Outreach and I have been talking with this young lady for a couple of weeks. I am going to share with you what she has written to me and if you are interested think on her words and what you might say to her in a loving manner.

Here is the first time she wrote to me...

i am not a christian. i was born into a hindu family. a lot of ppl though in my family are hindu's an christian. that is why id like to get to know Jesus. i also have a christian boyfriend and he inlightens me on most an wat is needed. i do not believe in discriminating any other religion. as i believe that there is one true God....an he/she just appears in different forms...for the convenience of everyone and every kind....if im going to be dealing with you then i do not in any way expect you to be dishonest or against any other religion. if that relationship cannot be established then we have no other choice but to terminate our cconversations.....my main purpose of this is to obtian knowledge on Jesus Christ.

What I loved about her is her bluntness (I can relate) and how she was straight forward with me (no messing around). That is what I am about. Now remember she does not have the Holy Spirit but, I believe she is being lead... I feel the Spirit is stirring.

Here is her second email....

Sorry for the delay in replying.....i understand you and what you are trying to say......i believe in him, i trust him, i pray to him.......but at times i temper up an the Devil instigates me into doing wrong, and i may have given into that.....i do apologise for my wrongs.....but i want to be able to not listen to the Devil.....i want to make right decisions for God....

In this email I was puzzled by her words and yes, I questioned her about when she said "I believe in him, i trust in him, i pray to him...". I know there is something bigger going on here.

Here is the third and last email (up to date)...

I will pray for them as you requested.....but in the only way i believe that they accept God and trust God in there own way....whichever form they prefer. Being a Christian, HIndu or even a Muslim is not about the different God/s, its about showing God how much you appreciate, and love him/her. There should be such a word as religion, cuz that one word is what is bringing everyone down to ground, and very few are seeing that.

True believers in God, dont have time to criticize other religion, as they are to busy praising God. The God that they can see. All God/s are the same. He / She just distributes theirself in many forms for the various languages and cultures of the human and non-human kind. Why cant you see that. Everyone worships in his / her own way, and thats all God asks. That you honor him/her buy acknowledging them and following their way, and to me thats what should be done.

Sooner than later it will come to effect, that God is there and true in one form. And then we will all see who had time for God or who had time to fight over him. God doesnt need your help more than he needs your understanding. The day you start to believe and think like me and many others, thats the day you truly have God in your life.

WOW! Right? But, you know what... I felt total peace on how to answer this... I prayed and Father gave me the words to respond. It was very lengthy and I may share later but, I would like you to think on this. She is not the only one out there thinking like this... there are TONS and it is our jobs as believers to tackle it. I am planting the seed and praying over her and now it is up to her to listen and take action to believe. I know He is moving... swirling around her. I can see it. She is searching.

I would love to hear what y'all would say to this sweet blunt young lady. :o)

I heard...

2011-03-13T19:33:00.000-07:00

If you have been following me for a while you know I have been feeling chaotic inside. I new it was God but, not sure where He was trying to lead me. As I look back now, He has been leading me all along... I was just not listening.This is something that has been in the back of my mind for a while but, continued to have fear. Fear that I would not know what to say because I don't know the Word well enough. Enough it enough... satan will no longer feed me these lies.

I finally heard Him yesterday... He is leading me to the lost. My heart is for those lost souls. After, I heard Him I have complete peace and know this is His leading and nothing else. I still have a lot of questions and very unsure but, I know what I must do. I must prepare myself and be ready.

Don't get me wrong He has a lot more for me but, I have heard this one thing I have been seeking for a while and it is such a relief because, all I want to do is bring glory to my Father in heaven.

So you may be asking... "Okay, Sterling what are you going to do with this revelation?" LOL! Well, for one I am involved with Global Media Outreach and now I am going to be reading a book about Mormons and what they believe and how the Bible is the Truth when they are compared. Make sense? Yes, I feel this is the path and where God is leading me. He has already put people in my path to speak to.

I want everyone on this earth to know their Savior personally. I want them all to have the fear of the Lord and know this undying love. I want them to know what heaven will be like and I want them for sure to know what hell will be like. I want the Truth to penetrate every heart and for all to hear their Father speak to them. I want all to know HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU no matter what you do and how easy (with God's help) it is to turn away from sin. I want all to know what it feels like when He holds your hand and carries you through the toughest times. God has great things planned for us all. He is waiting!!

Are you to comfortable?

2011-03-07T18:07:00.000-08:00

God has put us on this earth to spread the Gospel. To go out and make disciples. To love everyone without question just like He did while he walked this earth and how He loves us from up above. Ask your self this question... Why is it so hard to spread the good Word with our family, friends, and neighbors? Why is it so much easier to speak to someone you totally do not know about your wonderful God? I would think it would be the other way around. I mean we love our family and friends and have built relationships with them and we want them with us in heaven... right? This just baffles me. Here is a story I received from my Global Media Community Leader:

When ten-year-old Mary's mother died, she became 'mother of the house',
caring for her father who worked the night shift at a local mine. One
evening as she was packing his lunch she slipped a Gospel booklet inside,
hoping he'd find comfort after the loss of his wife. Suddenly at 1am an
emergency whistle sounded, telling the town's people that miners had been
caught in a collapsed mine. Emergency workers worked through the night and
finally broke through to a small cavern where they found the miners. Sadly,
it was too late. All eight men had suffocated, including Mary's father. The
rescuers were devastated. As they surveyed the scene they noticed that the
men had died seated in a circle. Looking closer, they discovered that Mary's
father was sitting with a small booklet in his lap, open to the last page
where the plan of salvation was explained. On that page he had written a
special message to her: 'My dear Mary, by the time you find this I'll be
with your mother. I read your little book several times to the others while
we waited to be rescued. Our hope is fading for this life - but not for the
next. We did as the book told us and prayed. I love you, and one day we'll
all be together in heaven.' Are you going to heaven? Do you know for sure?
You can. 'These things I have written... that you may know that you have
eternal life.'

I hope this story tugged at your heart a bit because, it did mine. It has really made me stop and think "How can I plant a seed in someone I know doesn't have the love of Jesus?" I now need to come up with a plan... pray for God to reveal to me how He would like me to tackle this. I know He has great plans for everyones life and I can't wait to bring Him glory!

Hello Friends.

2011-03-02T12:42:00.001-08:00

I know I have been away for a while and I am sorry. We have been so busy lately... ever since Valentines' day but, we are back to reality.

I wanted to share a few things going on....

1. I have finished my training with Global Media Outreach! Now I will be receiving more emails from around the world to help make an impact in the Kingdom. "Go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing then in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you." Matthew 28:19, 20

2. My Israel trip is all paid. I am now preparing myself mentally and physically. I know if I get myself physically ready to hike all through Israel I will be able to concentrate on nothing BUT God. That is what I am looking forward to most. No distractions... just me and God as I absorb everything about Him.

3. Homeschooling is going great! This has been the best decision EVER!! Hailee is learning so much, I am learning so much, and we haven't killed eachother. God has really blessed us with His grace. Right now we are doing a unit study on Africa. Hailee loves Africa, so do I! So this has been great for both of us. I will post pictures of her lapbook when we are all done.

4. God!! The lover of my soul is moving. I know I have said this before but, He is so BIG!! He is doing amazing things in Nigeria, India, Bangladesh, Ethiopia, and so many more countries. I feel so lucky and blessed to be part of it. It is so amazing! I am blown away by God's love. I will never be able to write my love for Him in words... never! But, I do know He knows it all. :o)

That is about it from over here in the Greene world. Of course there is more going on but, I feel I have ended this post with perfectness! Have a wonderful day, friends!

The Story...

2011-02-24T19:48:00.000-08:00

"3 While he was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head.

4 Some of those present were saying indignantly to one another, “Why this waste of perfume? 5 It could have been sold for more than a year’s wages[a] and the money given to the poor.” And they rebuked her harshly.

6 “Leave her alone,” said Jesus. “Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. 7 The poor you will always have with you,[b] and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me. 8 She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial. 9 Truly I tell you, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.” " Mark 14:3-9

Can you imagine being a fly on that wall? I love this story!

more Changing...

2011-02-15T18:25:00.000-08:00

It is so amazing to me EVERY single time God speaks to me or changes me. It just blows my mind! He loves me so much... He gives me the strength to follow His ways. Like I have said before... He takes my breathe away...

I made a promise... not any old promise... a promise to my Father. I promised Him I would fast from coke (any kind of soda), chocolate, sweets, candies, cakes, etc. for Him. I gave it up until my Israel trip in the end of March. I am amazed at the restraint He has given me... yes, I may want it but, He has changed how I think about sweets. I don't think I will ever be able to ever come close to thanking my Father but, I can love Him. Love Him like He deserves to be loved. He deserves all of me and I pray as I grow in my faith that by the end of my life there will be nothing 'standing' in my way.

I am in tears as I think about how much He loves me. It is all consuming and that is what I pray for.... that He would change my heart for what breaks His... that He would change me from the inside out. I want to exuberate Him! (does that word even make sense?)

God in a box

2011-02-11T14:47:00.000-08:00

Just a little while ago I was talking to an old high school friend. Actually we knew each other in junior high too. WOW! I feel old. LOL! We were messaging to each other on Facebook and he was saying how he has been reading my blog. First, I was surprised because he lives a pretty busy life but, it was very encouraging to me that other people read my thoughts rather than just me and my family and friends. LOL! You all who I don't know or I haven't talked to in a while... Thank you for reading. It makes these thoughts not feel so empty. LOL!

Back to my God in a box... remember my last post I told y'all about Global Media Outreach? Well it has taken over my life and thoughts. I am totally taken away by God and what He is doing all over this entire world!! I have taken Him out of my little box I had Him in and let Him fill my life. He isn't just over here in the United States. He is all over the WORLD! My God, your God is in Bangladesh, Nigeria, Johannesburg, United Arab Emirates, New York, India, Ethiopia, Trinidad and Tobago, Missouri, Algeria, Florida, Saudi Arabia and this is just naming a few. These are all the places people have written to me from... all of them searching for God. All of them wanting a closer relationship with the One bigger than them.

As I am on this journey, I have taken God out of my box and I have put Him EVERYWHERE! He is in everything and moves through everything no matter how BIG or small it is.

I want to share one relationship I have formed through GMO. A young lady from Johannesburg wrote me saying she had not accepted Christ but she was wanting to know more... she was searching. She knew something was out there bigger than her and she knew she wanted to be part of it but, I don't think she knew how. I wrote her back and prayed for her and told I was here for her if she need to talk to someone. A couple days later... SHE WROTE BACK!!! This is a big deal because there is a low percentage of people who write back. Anyways... she was asking questions and God has been pouring into me. She wrote 2 emails to me that day and the second one was that she accepted Christ. I have never been part of something so wonderful (well besides my own salvation) but, helping someone else know Christ as well... I am without words.

We have talked since and talked about her struggles and such and again I gave it to God to talk through me. He never lets me down and I pray this young lady will learn that too as she grows in her faith. I just can't believe I was part of something that will forever change her life... not just her life but, all the lives of the people who have written me.

I pray I will continue to bring my Father in heaven much glory as He works through me and brings His lost sheep home. This is such a wonderful opportunity and I am so humbled that I am part of it. If you are considering stepping out of your box and letting God out of the box you put Him in... consider joining Global Media Outreach. It is life changing!

Building His Kingdom One Country at a Time

2011-02-03T13:03:00.000-08:00

I have been wanting to blog about this for about a week but, held back until I actually began.

I want to make an impact in the world of God's love, but don't really have the ability to go to the nations and spread it... since I stay home with the girls and financially we aren't able to do that right now. I always felt lost in this... wanting to do something but what?? Then I was introduced to Global Media Outreach. I first heard about GMO on KSBJ (a local Christian radio station), then my friend Andrea was talking about it to me, and then I read it on our Missionary Pastor Omar's blog. This sounded like something I have been felt called to do. So I signed up, got through the first part of my training, and now I am activated.

I am now in training to be an Online Missionary. Global Media Outreach is an organization that helps people recommitting their life to Christ, people accepting Christ for the first time, and people searching, etc. I have wanted to be part of something bigger... something making an impact in the Kingdom and now I can do it! I can talk to people all over the world and let them know I am here for them. I pray for these people. I am bringing glory to God! What else is life about? Nothing else, but bringing Him glory!

I have received 4 emails from people all around the world... 2 Nigeria, Middle Eastern country, and USA. I have responded to them and wait to see if they will write back. If they do... AWESOME!! I look forward to sharing their journey with them. If not, I will continue to pray for them and God's leading. I am so pumped!

God is doing mighty and wonderful things! I praise Him for this opportunity for spreading His mighty word!

If you are interested, go check out the Global Media link. You can also go 'like' them on Facebook. Much Blessings!!

learning...

2011-02-02T12:54:00.000-08:00

All I have to say is... WOW, God is teaching me some very important lessons for life!

I am learning to totally lean on God for EVERYTHING, because really He is in control of EVERYTHING! I mean EVERYTHING... from my lying down to my sitting up. He is in control of our house selling to finding us our new home. He is in control of my friendships and how life goes with them. I have to lean on Him and trust and have faith in His leading and give it all to Him. I mean ALL of it to Him. If I keep any of it for myself... I will continue to have problems. He is the only way.

Life is so much easier giving it to Him but, I make it so much harder when I fight it. I am learning and I am being transformed and molded into what He wants and I guess that is really all that matters. All that matters is that His light is shining through me and that it is bringing Him glory. That is what my life is all about.

Psalm 130: Waiting for the Redemption of the Lord

2011-01-26T12:07:00.000-08:00

I love chapters in the Bible that complete sum it up. The ones that get right down to the point... I am not one that likes to beat around the bush. So, when I see straight forwardness I get excited. :o)

"Out of the depths I have cried to You, O Lord;
Lord, hear my voice!
Let Your ears be attentive
To the voice of my supplications.

If You, Lord, should mark inquities,
O Lord, who could stand?
But there is forgiveness with You,
That You may be feared.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
And in His word I do hope.
My soul waits for the Lord
More than those who watch for the morning--
Yes, more than those who watch for the morning.

O Israel, hope in the Lord;
For with the Lord there is mercy,
And with Him is abundant redemption.
And He shall redeem Israel
From all his iniquities." Psalm 130

Set Back or Step Forward

2011-01-24T21:01:00.000-08:00

If you don't know... Bob and I are putting our house up for sale TOMORROW!!! We are very excited and anxious. :o) This is something we have been wanting to do for about a year now. Things are moving along nicely and as things move along smoothly I have this constant peace that this is God's will. I have had my hopes set on moving to the country onto some land in a big house. I found this house on the MLS listings in Houston and instantly fell in love. We did go and see it and came to the conclusion it was going to need a lot of work. I am the type of person who sees the brighter side of things and see potential. All I can say is I saw potential in this fixer upper. Bob... well not so much. He said he liked the house, but it was set up funny and there were these corky things about the house. I agreed with him, but still loved it. I continued to pray about this house and I think I was really praying that this was the house for us and praying that God would bless us with this house. Bob and I continued to talk about this house and we never really got anywhere because 1. I loved the house and 2. He didn't love the house. So, today while I was cleaning floors I was praying... I prayed that whatever He has for us I would follow. I meant it and I gave it to God no matter what the outcome. Well, Bob came home tonight and he told me when the kids went to bed he wanted to talk about the Falcon house (the house I loved). The kids went to bed and we talked... Bob had another plan... move out of this house into another home that we could sale in 3 years and make some money off. In the mean time we will save save save and be able to get more land, barn, and better house in a few years. I really REALLY didn't want to give up my dream... but I knew this was God. I feel peaceful.

Now, we are looking at houses that weren't even part of our plan, but there are some very beautiful houses out there. I am very excited to see the house the Lord has all picked out for us.

I am so amazed how God has changed my heart and my life. I love how He is moving and molding me into what He wants and that I am bending at ease for Him. I love my wonderful God!

All rolled up in one

2011-01-21T12:46:00.000-08:00

I am not perfect by any means but I do try to do my best and follow the Lord's law. I read Psalm 119 and all that I feel and I all I see changing... was all put in this one chapter.

"Let my cry come before You, O Lord;
Give me understanding according to Your word.
Let my supplication come before You;
Deliver me according to Your word.
My lips shall utter praise,
For You teach me Your statutes.
My tongue shall speak of Your word,
For all Your commandments as righteousness.
Let Your hand become my help,
For I have chosen Your precepts.
I long for Your salvation, O Lord,
And Your law is my delight.
Let my soul live, and it shall praise You;
And let Your judgments help me.
I have gone astray like a lost sheep;
Seek Your servant,
For I do not forget Your commandments." Pslam 119:169-176

I have struggles like anyone else, but I know where to go for strength, forgiveness, and mercy... my Lord, Jesus Christ.

Deuteronomy 1-12

2011-01-12T12:28:00.000-08:00

WOW!! I read 12 chapters of Deuteronomy yesterday and today and was at awe. I was puzzled, saddened, over joyed, and anxious while reading these chapters. So many good things said and good happened through out these chapters. I am so ready to go see this holy land I can barely contain myself. All I want to do is talk about it, pray about it, read about it, and think about it.

I am sad for Moses who was not allowed to cross the Jordan River to go into the holy land. I believe he was not allowed to go because of all the chosen peoples bad decisions they made along the way (the 40 years through the wilderness), but he was told by the Lord to encourage and strength Joshua up before the went into Israel (Deut. 3:28). That must have been so hard for Moses because he pleaded with God to let Him in but the Lord wouldn't have it.

Moses did as he was told and he reviewed the 10 commandments with all who would be going to the holy land. "Therefore you shall be careful to do as the Lord your God has commanded you; you shall not turn aside to the right hand or left. You shall walk in all the ways which the Lord your God has commanded you, that you may live and that it may be well with you, and that you may prolong your days in the land which you shall posses." Deut. 5:32,33.

I don't know how the chosen people could forget all they saw with their own eyes and heard with their own ears... but they were continually reminded to remember those things and "teach them to your children, speak of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up." (Deut. 11:19) They were told to "fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways and to love Him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul..." Deut. 10:12.

There was one verse that really popped out at me: "He is your praise, and He is your God, who has done for you there great and awesome things which your eyes have seen. Your fathers went down to Egypt with seventy persons, and now the Lord your God has made you as the stars or heaven in multitude." Deut. 10:21,22

So beautiful and so true. He is so beautiful and His Word is so true.

Preparation

2011-01-11T12:50:00.000-08:00

I know I keep saying this, but the Lord is preparing me. For what? I am not totally sure. I do feel like I am being prepared for Israel. I have read through a few chapters of Numbers and today a few chapters of Deuteronomy and I wasn't completely lost in it all. It began to sink in... soaking in the knowledge of what I will see. I also, feel like the Lord is preparing my heart for this journey. Feeling compassion for people even when they may not deserve it. I feel like everything is coming together just as God wants it to.

We are going to be putting our house on the market in a couple of weeks and I feel total peace. I have been praying that if this isn't what He wants us to be doing right now for Him to close the doors, but instead He has graciously opened them. The Lord has put people in our path to help us. Helping us in ways we never would have expected... I give the Lord all the thanks because really it is all Him.

I have been feeling distant from some people lately but I think it is more preparation for what the Lord has for us. I don't know why, but I do know in the end it will be so wonderful because it is part of His perfect plan.

I can't describe this feeling of being prepared for something, but it feels good to know God is working inside of me. Today when I was reading Deuteronomy one verse was thrown out at me... "For the Lord your God has blessed you in all the work of your hands. He knows your trudging through the great wilderness. These forty years the Lord your God has been with you; you have lacked nothing." Deuteronomy 2:7

New

2011-01-06T20:13:00.000-08:00

I decided it was time to update my blog. I loved the heading of my blog before, but the kids have grown, I have changed (spiritually and physically), and Bob... well he is the same. :o) It was just time for an update. These pictures were taken by my friend, Lyndsay. They are our yearly family pictures we get every fall. Isn't Lyndsay good at what she does? :o)

I have grown so much... in ways I could never explain. Only God knows how my heart and inward thoughts have changed and that is really all that matters. I feel so good on where my life is going and how the family is closer than ever.

God is spilling out everywhere showing me things I need to fix and change, but I totally see the goodness out of it even though it is so hard to do. Change is so hard. He is teaching me how to just go with the flow and to let go. God is already in control before it even happens. He is preparing me for new things to come... I just know it. And it is all unknown, but I have total piece about it because I am going with the flow. :o)

I hope you enjoy my new look.

Frazzled.

2011-01-03T11:59:00.000-08:00

I am a tad frazzled. Most of the frazzled feeling is from change. I was just informed that Brian Haynes (pastor that just left Kingsland to pastor another church) canceled the trip to Israel I was planning on going on. You maybe thinking... whats next?? Well, there are other trips. There is another Israel trip leaving March 23 with a man a met about a month ago... he taught Brian Haynes and got him on board with being a guide for these trips. He is a great man. Then there is another trip leaving March 29 traveling to Egypt, Jordan, and Israel. This trip maybe a little harder for me to go on because it costs more and a few other flight issues. It is looking like I will be going on the trip with Marty to Israel (plus, it is a little cheaper).

Back to why I feel frazzled. I have a really hard time with change. Yes, I will still be going to Israel but everything else has changed. I will be flying out of Houston to Chicago where I will meet up with the rest of the group flying to Israel. Then I will be traveling with a new guide/rabbi. I will be traveling with a group that I don't know to a country I really don't know... with different dates. I guess I just felt comfortable going to Israel because Brian Haynes was leading it. But, I will have to tell you... I feel like this is all God's plan. That He has been working this all out from the beginning. I have confidence in that... but the change brings in fear.

I have been having a little bit of fear lately. Fear of travel... completely around the world by myself. Yes, I will be with a group and I feel safe with that, but Bob won't be with me. I won't be where I feel secure. I know this fear is not from God and I know this trip is His plan. I feel like this trip is a promise He has made to me. A promise that I will grow closer to Him in a way I never thought I would.

Last year in April or May I wrote I felt God doing some radical things inside of me and one of those things was this Israel trip. I felt the tingle inside but, always thought it was untouchable, but now I see God's hand in it all. I have lost 30 lbs. and more to lose by the trip, but I know it wasn't all me... it was God giving me the push. And I believe meeting Marty (the new guide) and having dinner with him was a coincident... it was all God!

I am sorry if this sounds like a lot of complaining, but this is one of my biggest struggles... change. I get a bit angry and shaky when change arises, but I will have to say I feel better now after remember God's promise to me and His faithfulness.

"Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart,
All you who hope in the Lord."
Psalm 31:24

Today...

2010-12-30T12:35:00.000-08:00

Lately when I have my quiet time with the Lord I come to chapters or books in the Bible I feel led to read. Today I was led to the Book of Haggai... and wow, what a slap in the face. Oh... how I felt like it was talking to me and the entire world around me.

"Consider your ways! You have sown much, and bring in little;
You eat, but do not have enough; You drink, but you are not filled with drink;
You clothe yourselves, but no one is warm; And he who earns wages,
Earns wages to put into a bag with holes." Haggai 1:5 and 6

First... I felt like I was being told "Wake up and look around you!". Have I done what God has been asking me to do?? Have I done what has been presisting me to do?? No.

I am given so much. More than I can put my mind around... and in return I can't do this one thing He is asking of me. One little thing that really isn't all that important... He just wants me to get rid of.

We all want and want and want and are never satisfied. If we are satisfied it is only for a millisecond until we come across something 'bigger and better'.

We all (even myself) just spend and spend. Sometimes we spend when we don't even have the money to cover it. We turn to our 'trusty' credit card. I am sick to death of it all!!! All of this earthly stuff gets in my way. I am at the end of my string. Maybe this is where God wants me right now. Maybe He has put me here to get me to be obedient.

I am sick and tired!!

Sewing Projects

2010-12-22T17:36:00.000-08:00

Some of you know about my new hobby, sewing but for those of you who don't know... I have taken up sewing. A few years ago my husband, Bob got me a Kenmore sewing machine. I really enjoyed sewing and I sewed curtains for our house, but after that I had to put it up because I had no where to keep my machine. I never got my machine out again until a month ago. I decided I was going to start making my children cute clothes that people charge a butt load for. I told myself "If they can do it... I can do it!"

So, off I went to Hobby Lobby in mid-November and bought fabric to make both the girls skirts. I had an idea in my head on what I wanted to make. I really didn't want to use a pattern, but thought I should check them out. In the end I didn't get a pattern... I knew what I wanted to do. So, I went home and got excited about my new adventure. LOL! Here are the 2 skirts I made...

This is Heidi's skirt. I actually made hers second and learned what I should and shouldn't do from the mistakes I mad on Hailee. :o)

Here is Hailee's skirt. I did make a few mistakes but in the end I think it came out okay.

I took a little break after Thanksgiving, but the machine was still out and waiting for me. FINALLY I got to work again and made a tree skirt. I had a few issues but again it all worked out... EXCEPT my machine decided to act up at the very end. I was in the process of sewing the Velcro on the skirt (so that the cat doesn't go sliding around on the skirt and then we would have to bend down and put back like 20 times a day) and my thread kept breaking. :o) I finally gave in and took it into a sewing store... well they didn't fix Kenmore machines. So I was going to have to take it to another sewing store that fixes all machines. To make a long store short I bought a new sewing machine because the Kenmore machine I had wouldn't be worth getting fixed. So I got a beautiful Elna sewing machine and it is wonderful. Anyways... here is a picture of the tree skirt.

Now that I have my new Elna sewing machine I decided to start my first quilt. I have begun and it is looking great, but I am not going to post pictures until it is complete. I am so excited! I want to thank Mindy, Quilting Queen for all her help (so far).

"For with God nothing is impossible."

2010-12-21T11:30:00.000-08:00

I can not believe how fast this month is gong by... 4 days until Christmas. It is so amazing! Last year I really felt my feelings and thoughts change toward the big day... Christmas (all for good) and this year they have changed even more. This day is so amazing to me and everything that leads up to the birth of Christ.

Last week I read the first two chapters of Luke and I read it totally different then before... I was at awe. Then this past weekend we (Bob and I) watched The Nativity Story. We have owned this movie for 2 years and this is the first time we sat down and watched it. I am such a visual learner that sitting and watching the movie made it come to life. Then I sat here again today reading the first chapter of Luke and again just taken away by God.

I am taken away by the conceiving of John and Jesus but most of all I am totally blown away by the Holy Spirit. I am blown away by Zacharias and when he was told his wife was going to be pregnant at her well advanced age and that the child would "also be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother's womb" (Luke 1:15). So, I sit here wondering what also means... while Zacharias was in the temple praying to the Lord and once the angel came upon him he then was filled with the Holy Spirit? WOW!! Instantly just like that... BAMMM!!

Then sweet innocent Mary was greeted by an angel and told "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son, and shall call His name Jesus."(Luke 1: 30,31) WOW! Can you imagine... being so young... engaged to a man... being a virgin... and being told this wonderful news that she has found favor is the eyes of God? I can't. I guess this is why I wasn't chosen :o). But most of all being comforted and given a look to the future a bit "He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David." (Luke 1:32). But then the Holy Spirit came upon her... just like that she was filled with everything she needed. Then she had total faith... "Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word." (Luke 1:38). Mary was brave!

Finally, Mary went off to see her relative Elizabeth, who has pregnant with John. When Mary walked into Elizabeth's home and Elizabeth heard Mary "her baby leaped inside her womb; and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit." (Luke 1:41) WOW!! Isn't that just consuming? Instantly filled with the Holy Spirit. I don't think that leap inside her womb was just any leap... it must have been something so unfathomable. Takes my breath away! The Elizabeth instantly spoke to Mary... "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb!" (Luke 1:42). All I can say is... GOD!

I guess I am so taken away by the beginning of this book because they were filled with the Holy Spirit before anyone else... before the death on the cross. They were probably filled to just be able to comprehend what was happening and what was going to happen. I don't know about you but it just makes my jaw drop at the thought.

This Christmas I will be thinking about the Holy Spirit and all Jesus has done for us. I will sit and think about how Mary must have felt when told the news and how honored and humbled she must have felt when holding that sweet baby boy. It gives me tears to even think about that our Savior was born on this earth. That He was God in human flesh. It blows my mind... I don't even have words.

I pray you all will be able to have a moment to sit and ponder on this... ponder on the all consuming Holy Spirit and that you would think about Jesus and how special a gift He was to us.

Beautiful Prophecy

2010-12-16T11:35:00.000-08:00

This is John's father, Zacharias speaking after he was filled with the Holy Spirit...

"Blessed is the Lord God of Israel,
For He has visited and redeemed His people,

And has raised up a horn of salvation for us
In the house of His servant David,
As He spoke by the mouth of His holy prophets,

Who have been since the world began,
That we should be saved from our enemies
And from the hand of all who hates us,
To preform the mercy promised to our fathers

And to remember His holy covenant,
The oath which he swore to our father Abraham:

To grant us that we,
Being delivered from the hand of our enemies,
Might serve Him without fear,
In holiness and righteousness before Him all the days of our life.

"And you child, will be called the prophet of the Highest;
For you will go before the face of the Lord to prepare His ways,
To give knowledge of salvation to His people
By the remission of their sins,
Through the tender mercy of our God,
With which the dayspring from on high has visited us;
To give light to those who sit in darkness and the shadow of death,
To guide our feet into the way of peace." Luke 1:68-79

Such truth, faith, belief, trust, and prophecy in this passage. It just amazes me! I am going to write more tomorrow on more that amazes me, but for right now... I am pondering on these words. WOW! It just blows my mind!

T.M.I. or just total coolness??

2010-12-13T20:32:00.000-08:00

Okay... I have been debating about this post but really feel like it is so cool. Sorry to all of you who will think this is to much information. LOL!

As I prepare for the Israel trip in April I have become very at ease with some things I was anxious about and a little uneasy. Such as... the food, sleeping arrangements, showers, and the list can go on. I know all of this doesn't matter and I will be taken care of, but one thing I continue to ponder on is... well.... my once a month 'friend', my period. I DO NOT want to be on my period while traipsing around Israel. The last thing I want to worry about is my once a month 'friend'. God knows this has been one of my concerns because 1. I have brought it before Him and 2. I have been thinking about this and going on and on about it. I had total plans to talk to my O.B. about this and ask her to help me with my 'problem'.

So here is the coolness... My 'friend' comes to visit at the beginning of every month (yes right at the time I would be in the middle of the wilderness) and I knew this was going to be a problem. But... for some reason my 'friend' wasn't visiting her normal time... of course my first thought was.... "I AM NOT PREGNANT!!!". That would just be ridiculous because why would God have me be with child if His plan was for my to go to Israel in April. No way!!! I knew I was not pregnant but still had that thought race through my head. So I waited... if I was pregnant (which I knew I wasn't) I would just wait and if I was not pregnant (which I knew I was) I knew God had a reason for this. I began to ponder what was going on in my body... since I WAS NOT pregnant I began to wonder if my POS (polycycstic ovary syndrome) was back... then I thought "NO WAY!". I have lost 30 lbs. that is a good thing and POS should not be in the picture. I then had crossed pregnancy and POS off my list. I knew this was God... I knew he was answering a prayer. He is beginning to prepare my body for this adventure. My 'friend' came to visit on the 11th instead of the 6th... yes, totally the coolness of God. I knew it was Him... He is getting me ready for the trip of my life. To prepare me for what He has in my path int he future. God is so good!

To Whom It May Concern:

2010-12-10T21:54:00.000-08:00

I am terribly hurt (and no it is not my husband). I am hurt by the lacking of the other side. The other side of a relationship I hold dear. I relationship that goes back to the good ol' days when we were carefree of anything important.

I put major effort into relationships that I feel very strong bonds with... it doesn't happen with every person I become close with. I pour into people I grow close to to the extent of exhaustion. I care for close relationships as if they were family. This may sound selfish... but when I don't receive the same effort or something that seems meaningful to me it HURTS and it hurts BAD! Bad to where I don't know what to do... and when I am let down so many times I just don't know where to go with it.

I have become very forgiving since I was born again. Forgiveness I can never explain. I will continue to forgive, but there will still be a wound that has to to heal and this time the wound is deep. Deep to where a sorry won't just mend it, but a lot of prayer and leaning on God is the only cure and way to heal.

While I sit in this quiet house and ponder my own thoughts... I have come to realize how hurt I have become. I need to really pray about this and the next words I chose because who knows how much longer I can go.

Me venting...

2010-12-10T20:19:00.000-08:00

This is just me venting... I have no one to talk to about it and the one I do want/need to talk to has gone to bed.

I am SICK TO DEATH of all the hours Bob works!! I am SICK TO DEATH of feeling like a single mom and doing most everything!

I am very grateful for his job... don't get me wrong. He works for a great company that cares for him and he gets paid well.

It is the hours... and it seems like Bob feels like he owes this job every possible hour. Almost to where his family is put on the back burner.

You may be thinking... "Why don't you talk to Bob about this?" And I have. I can only talk so much.... he is the one that has to put it in action.

Bob is so tired and has to get up so early 6 days a week. He doesn't get the rest he needs and then I get the short end of the stick. After the kids go to bed and he gets situated... he plops on the couch and is out instantly... snoozing away. There is absolutely no us time unless we go out on a date.

I am just sick of it!!! We got home from our ABF Christmas party tonight, got the kids in bed, and off to bed Bob goes. He expects me to go to be too, but I need to wind down before sleeping. I am just SICK AND TIRED!!!

Only a Hippopotamus will do...

2010-12-08T18:15:00.000-08:00

I heard this song yesterday on the radio and instantly fell in love with it. As we were listen to this song in the car I asked Hailee if she wanted a Hippopotamus for Christmas and she said "We already have that game." LOL! She was talking about Hungry Hungry Hippo. LOL! That made me laugh and I thought I would share. :o) Here are the words to "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas."

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
Don't want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy
I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won't have to use our dirty chimney flue
Just bring him through the front door,
that's the easy thing to do

I can see me now on Christmas morning,
creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise
when I open up my eyes
to see a hippo hero standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses
I only like hippopotamuses
And hippopotamuses like me too

(Short Music Interlude)

Mom says the hippo would eat me up, but then
Teacher says a hippo is a vegeterian

(Short Music Interlude)

There's lots of room for him in our two-car garage
I'd feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage

I can see me now on Christmas morning,
creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise
when I open up my eyes
to see a hippo hero standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles or rhinoceroseses
I only like hippopotamuseses
And hippopotamuses like me too!

The Just Live by Faith

2010-12-08T12:03:00.000-08:00

Then the Lord answered me (Habakkuk) and said:
"Write the vision
And make it plain on tablets,
That he may run who reads it.
For the vision is yet for an appointed time;
But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.
Thought it tarries (meaning staying longer than intended), wait for it;
Because it will surely come,
It will not tarry.
Behold the proud,
His soul is not upright in him;
But the just shall live by his faith."

Habakkuk 2:2-4

As I sit and ponder this book of Habakkuk it makes me think about today's world. It is almost like Habakkuk is talking about this world now. But I know God is here and I know He is involved in every detail of today's world. We may not understand his reasoning, but this is when faith comes in and having total faith that He is in control. Habakkuk didn't know about Jesus and all that was going to happen with Him, but God sure did give him a little heads up. I wonder after hearing the assurance from God if it made him feel better and have more faith in Him?

I have to be honest.. I don't have the faith I wish I had. I can't quite put my finger on it, but things I desire and want to change I haven't fallen down on my knees before Him and asked for His grace and mercy. I haven't asked for Him to move in a certain situation to make it all about Him. I know that isn't bringing Him glory by 'keeping it to myself'... I need to just confess and bring it all to Him, but for some reason other things seem to always come first. Why do I do this?

I have grown in my faith and I know He can save, heal, and change any circumstance... I just need to give it up and give it to Him. I know He wants it all for His glory, so I need to just give it up. Be done with it! He has great things waiting for me and my family... now is the time to let Him move.

He already knows.

2010-12-02T12:26:00.000-08:00

Lately, I have been focused more on God. I feel like my heart has been more in line with His than ever before (this is not saying much because I still have things I am wrestling with), but my thoughts are more around Him. I have been repenting more on things I would have never thought I needed to repent before. Things that I thought were just normal... things that everyone struggles with. If everyone struggles with it then it is not a sin I need to worry about? Right? So very wrong.

I have been praying that God be glorified through me actions, words, and attitude. That His thoughts would be my thoughts, His hands be my hands, His feet be my feet, His words be my words. I have these desires to be totally transformed forever and ever. I have desires I don't even know are desires, but He already knows. I sit hear in my own tears... not even knowing what these tears mean... desperately wanting Him to take my life and let it be all for Him and His glory. But, somehow this world creeps in and I let it ruin the desires of my heart. I don't live for this world... I live for bringing glory to my Father, the Most High.

So many things I am wrestling with and so many things I don't even know what to do with. But, I do know... that He already knows and I have faith in Him and His path/adventure He will lead me on.

Stoked!!!

2010-12-01T21:22:00.000-08:00

Last night I was invited to go have dinner with an Israel guide. This guide has lead and taught Pastor Brian Haynes, who will be leading my Israel trip. Yes, my Israel trip... I have total faith that God will provide and have total peace that this is His will. So, it is my Israel trip. LOL! Everything I have been told about this experience is everything I have been expecting. I was told I will come home yearning to study and read God's word. There won't be any... "Oh... I have to read God's word." There will be excitement and it will come alive. I want to be renewed... I want to have new-life in my new-life. I just cannot wait to get there...

I am scared though... that I won't be able to put it into words... that so many will want to hear about my experience that I just won't know how to explain it all. I am planning to journal on my adventure and maybe that will help with me explaining what my 'new' eyes have seen. I still pray God be glorified through it all whatever the outcome may be... but He is providing funds for my trip to the most Holyland and this I am very grateful for.

Another fear I have is that I will want to go again and again and again... I know I will want more. I guess I can't be greedy... and if it is God's will He will make it happen. I know He has mighty plans for my life and I feel this trip will have a lot to do with His wonderful plan. He is so mighty, powerful, loving, merciful, and total light. He is my light and I can not do life without Him.

Light It Up

2010-11-30T12:15:00.001-08:00

This past weekend we lit it up. We turned on our Christmas cheer.... well for some reason I couldn't find the cheer, but by the end of the decorating it was there. LOL! Here is a little look into our decorating time.

Both girls really enjoyed decorating the tree.... Hailee especially. Now her new things is "How much longer until Christmas?" LOL! Tomorrow we begin Attributes of Jesus and putting our own spin on it. :o) Check back tomorrow to see our first Attribute.

Thanksgiving in Tyler

2010-11-29T20:15:00.000-08:00

Here is a sneak peek of our Thanksgiving. It was a true blessing to be with family this year. The kiddos had a gerat time together playing and getting tickled to death by Uncle Pat.

Everyone loves some good ol' Uncle Pat abuse. :o)

Heidi being tossed around

Hailee being tossed around...

Uncle Pat with his 3 munchkins

Hailee and Eva ready to go adventure the great outdoors...

Heidi throwing a fit for who knows why...

It is that time of year again...

2010-11-23T12:20:00.001-08:00

This time of the year really makes me think of all I am thankful for. It makes me put every in perspective and lets me see the big picture. Everyone in my home is healthy and growing and we have not lost anyone to death. During this time of the year I begin to think of the ones who are not so fortunate or the ones have broken families. I have began to make a list (in my head) of all that I am thankful for and I believe over the years it has changed and grown into something deeper. When I say deeper... I mean what is really important and what I really need to focus on more.

I always look forward to this time of the year because it gives off this wonderful feeling. I love the cooler weather, the bustling around, giving gifts to those unexpecting it, and being able to share God's love for us more openly. I also become sad at this time of the year because it has become all about the gifts and how big and expensive these gifts 'have' to be. Sometimes I wish we could just go one year with out gifts and spend the time together concentrating on what this season is truly about. Even though I say this... I love giving my girls gifts. I love seeing their eyes twinkle and their smiles they give while they open and play with their new toys. Then I begin to see a glimpse of what God sees and feels when we trust our faith in Him and when we are obedient to Him and His holy word.

Here is my Thankful list:

1. Thankful that I was made in the image of Christ and that my soul is saved through the blood of Jesus Christ.
2. Thankful for God guiding my life.
3. Thankful for Bob who loves me with all of my flaws.
4. Thankful for being able to live in this free country.
5. Thankful for being able to homeschool Hailee with no questions.
6. Thankful for Hailee's life and all the joy that comes with watching her grow.
7. Thankful for Heidi's life and all the joy that comes with watching her grow.
8. Thankful for Bob's job that supports us all.
9. Thankful for the roof over our head and the A/C and heat.
10. Thankful for the food in our fridge and pantry.
11. Thankful for Kingsland Baptist who continues lead me and Bob on the right path.
12. Thankful for our ABF who are all loving and supportive and continue to help us grow and flourish into the hands and feet of God.
13. Thankful for our family who loves us so much.
14. Thankful for our friends, who I call family.

I could go on and on but... this is the list for now. I hope you will be able to sit (or clean like I did) and think about all God has provided for you. Nothing is ever a coincident... it is always ALL GOD!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Full of Thankfulness

2010-11-18T11:59:00.000-08:00

I am truly thankful for these 2 little girls. Yes, we may have rough days together and get on each others nerves, but really my life would be so boring, lonely, and very dull without them. They make me into a better person and these little girls have helped my grow in my faith. I would not be where I am today if it wasn't for these 2 smiley girls. I love you, Hailee and Heidi!!!!

*Special thanks to my special friend who watch the girls today while I went to the doctor.*

Happy Birthday Hailee!!!

2010-11-14T18:38:00.001-08:00

I can't believe it. Hailee turned 6 years old today. We had a great family day and ended it with some Chuck E Cheese fun! I don't know who was having more fun Bob or Hailee :o)... yes, I have 2 big kids. :o)

I feel like just yesterday I had Hailee and then the first few weeks of her life I slept in our recliner with her in my arms or laying on my chest. It was such a sweet time that I will never forget. I cherish this special time we have together in these early years of hers and I love how Hailee and Heidi have this special time to bond before Hailee wants nothing to do with Heidi anymore. I pray she keeps her innocence and sweet spirit as long as possible. :o)

Here are some pictures of her special day (sorry they are blurry they were done with my cell phone in bad lighting)...

One of Hailee's gifts today... Pepper, a little American Girl pet

Hailee and Heidi watching something at Chuck E Cheese

What we saw on the outside

Games

and more games..

2 months and counting...

2010-11-12T20:43:00.000-08:00

Here is my little Hailee; Riding away on Belle. This last Wednesday was the first time she was taken off the lunge line for the entire lesson. Hailee is getting stronger, smarter, and multi-tasking right before my eyes. I am so proud of her!

She is loving her riding lesson and I am loving watching her transform into a little Equestrian.

Lost in Today's World

2010-11-10T11:27:00.000-08:00

We all get lost in today's world. We want the new in thing or we want more of something... we are never fulfilled with what we have. I am just as guilty with wanting more, but I think I will have to say my wants have changed a bit... I want more of God. I want what He wants. I want to do what He wants. I feel very content with what we have and I will have to say it isn't as much as most and occasionally a catch myself wanting my house to look cute or bigger, etc. But, really... I am good. (Except our kitchen faucet which I am about to throw out the window, but that is another story all in its own).

I was brought to Jeremiah chapter 2 today and as I read this chapter I felt like it was speaking to me. I felt like as I was reading this chapter it continued to point towards today's world in the United States. Our country and it's people are so lost.

I have talked to a few people that I don't normally talk to lately and religion and God came up (mostly due to my Israel letter). Their views are totally messed up. They have their own view on God and put Him in a box. They get so lost in what is important to them here on this earth they forget about who made this place they call "home" and they forget who made them. There is so much more to living here and believing in something bigger than you. It is all about living every single day doing, saying, thinking, breathing Jesus. I feel like life here is all about striving to be more holy like the One who made us in His image. It is not about doing things every once in a while in His name or being His hands and feet when we feel like it... but it is all about doing it all the time!

My reason for wanting to go on this Israel trip has been questioned and that is fine. People have the freedom to ask or question me all they want, but when I begin to be questioned about my reasons for going on this trip... it begins to hurt. I feel like I very bluntly put it out there... I want to get as close as possible to where Jesus has been, I want learn and read the Bible and watch it come alive, and I want to be changed forever when I come home to my family. I continue to feel the peace of the Holy Spirit regarding this trip and I know this is His will for me.

All I want to do in this life is grow closer to the holy One and bring Him glory in all I do. I do have my struggles and am not anywhere close to where I know I need to be, but I am trying to concentrate on Him and what He wants for me and my family. I would have to say that is a start.

I pray that this world and the people in it might get a glimpse of it all. Read the Truth and have faith in God's wonderful plan.

Sight Word Caterpillar

2010-11-08T12:23:00.000-08:00

Today, we didn't do much school because as you can tell Hailee doesn't feel 100%. We did some math (which took way to long but that is another story) and then we made the Sight Word Caterpillar. These are the sight words she has memorized so far. YAY! Go Hailee!!!

We haven't done much of Five in a Row lately because we have been so busy lately but, we are going to pick it back up during the off time of Friday school (a Co-Op) and WAM. So very soon I will be posting more pictures of school activities.

Have a great Monday!

How time flies...

2010-11-06T20:29:00.000-07:00

Where has the time gone? Hailee had her 6th birthday party today while next weekend is her actually birthday... I can't believe Hailee is 6! I remember being pregnant with her, giving birth to her, and bringing her home for the first time. I guess these memories will always feel like yesterday. Here are some pictures from her birthday party today. I love you more than words, my sweet Hailee.

Much thanks to Jennifer Massey for making this beautiful yummy Hello Kitty cake.

Prayer

2010-11-04T12:04:00.000-07:00

Psalm 27

The Lord is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?
When the wicked some against me
To eat up my flesh,
My enemies and foes,
They stumbled and fell.
Though an army may encamp against me,
My heart shall not fear;
Though a war may rise against me,
In this I will be confident.

One thing I have desired of the Lord;
That will I seek;
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord,
And to inquire in His temple.
For in the time of trouble
You shall hide me in Your pavilion;
In the secret place of Your tabernacle
You shall hide me;
You shall set me high upon a rock.

And now my head shall be lifted up above
my enemies all around me;
Therefore I will offer sacrifices of joy in Your
tabernacle;
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord.

Hear, O Lord, when I cry with her voice!
Have mercy up on me, and answer me.
When You said "Seek My face,"
My heart said to You, "Your face, Lord, I will
seek."
Do not hide Your face from me;
Do not turn Your servant away in anger;
You have been my help;
Do not leave me nor forsake me,
O God of my salvation.
When my father and my mother forsake me,
Then the Lord will take care of me.

Teach me Your way, O Lord,
And lead me in a smooth path, because of
her enemies.
Do not deliver me to the will of my adversaries;
For false witness have risen against me,
And such as breathe out violence.
I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.

Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say on the Lord!!

I came across this verse today and began to feel the urge to pray for a new special friend. I thought I would share this with all of you and hoping it brings you encouragement.

My Busy Heidi

2010-11-03T20:13:00.000-07:00

Heidi is so busy. She is usually to busy to even acknowledge that I am yelling at her trying to get her attention. This is Heidi and there is nothing I can do about it... except to continue to try to get her attention with whatever I possibly can. Love her!

Growing in Faith

2010-11-01T12:06:00.000-07:00

Today I read Acts 20-24 and I dug into it. These chapters are so inspiring! They inspire me to put it all out there and walk only in Faith and totally trust in my God. I really wanted to blog about these chapters, but not really sure what to say... I feel they pretty much explain themselves, but we will see if I am spoken to through them. :o)

Acts 20:17-24
"From Miletus he sent to Ephesus and called for the elders of the church. And when they had come to him, he said to them: "You know, from the first day I came to Asia, in what manner I always lived among you, serving the Lord with all humility, with many tears and trials which happened to me by the plotting of the Jews; how I kept back nothing that was helpful, but proclaimed it to you, and taught you publicly and from house to house, testifying to Jews, and also to Greeks, repentance to God and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ. And see, now I go bound in the spirit to Jerusalem, not knowing the things that will happen to me there, except that the Holy Spirit testifies in every city, saying that chains and tribulation awaits me. But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God."

Paul is so bold with his words. I can't get over how he just lays it out there and how he has total faith that this work he is doing on earth is all for God's glory and that his life here is nothing without Jesus. Just reading these words makes me want to be better... and just dive into whatever God has in store for me.

Acts 21:13
"Paul answered, "What do you mean by weeping and breaking my heart? For I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die at Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus."

Paul was replying to everyone who was telling him not to go to Jerusalem because he could be bound and put to death. But, Paul had no fear because it was all in the name of Jesus. How awesome is that? That is how he should all live every single day. Not scared to share our faith boldly but speak in love and show others what the real love of Jesus is. We shouldn't be scared of other's responses to our faith, but know what we live by is Truth and pray for those who question our faith.

Acts 23:11
"But the following night the Lord stood by him and said, "Be in good cheer, Paul; for as you have testified for Me in Jerusalem, so you must also bear witness to Rome."

WOW!!! The Lord stood by Paul and told him that he was doing well and that it was pleasing Him. How cool is that? Confirmation that all the torture and ridicule that he was going through was bringing glory to the Lord. Paul was being obedient no matter who or what was torturing him. WOW!

Acts 24:14-16
"But this I confess to you, that according to the Way which they call a sect, so I worship the God of my fathers, believing all things which are written by Law and in the Prophets. I have hope in God, which they themselves also accept, that there will be a resurrection of the dead, both of the just and injust. This being so, I myself always strive to have a conscience without offense toward God and men."

I have such faith in the Way because I know it is the only Way... the only way to make it through this life on earth, the only way to bring others to know Christ, the only way to bring glory to my Father, the only way to encourage others in their faith, the only way to grow in my faith, and the only way to make it to my everlasting life in heaven. Paul is such an inspiration. His life my not be my life, but it gives me hope and grows my faith. I pray for this boldness and the words from God to speak into others lives that might help build up their relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.

Pumpkin Prayer

2010-10-31T11:26:00.000-07:00

Dear Jesus,

As I carve my pumpkin help me pray this prayer:

Open my mind so I can learn about You;
(cut the top off the pumpkin)

Take all my sin and forgive the wrong that I do.
(clean out the inside)

Open my eyes so Your love I will see;
(cute out eyes shaped like hearts)

I'm sorry for the times I've turned up my nose at what You've given to me.
(cut a nose in the shape of the cross)

Open my ears so Your Word I will hear;
(cut ears shaped like the Bible)

Open my mouth to tell others You're near.
(cute the mouth in the shape of a fish)

Let You light shine in all I say and do!
(place a candle inside and light it)

Amen.

Here are some pictures of our pumpkin carving we did last night. I really wanted to emphasis this year about Jesus and all He has and continues to do for us. And no mater what we should shine the light He has given us.

Before we started.

The pumpkin goo

As you can tell neither one of the girls was into the pumpkin goo

Watching intently... making sure daddy doesn't chop a finger off

Lighting the pumpkin up for all to see

We have light... how about you?

Happy Halloween!

Download and Go~ Terrific Tigers Giveaway

2010-10-29T18:19:00.000-07:00

Hey friends! Just thought I would share a great giveaway on Tigers. A super fun thing for your kids to learn about and you learn about as you teach them. Check it out here.

Knowing Real Love

2010-10-29T11:28:00.000-07:00

The other day I was talking to my mom about love... we were talking about about real love. I was saying that if someone isn't a Christ follower that they don't know real love. Then we got on the topic that just because they aren't a Christ follower doesn't mean they don't know how to love. I continue to stand firm on if you don't believe Jesus came to this earth and died for you and me while we had such sinful hearts... that you do not know REAL love.

"For God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16

This is probably one of the most famous verses in the Bible. I knew this verse when I was young and didn't understand it at all! We were told to memorize this verse, but I couldn't because I had no clue what this love was and I wasn't having it poured into me at home. You have to understand this love... God gave His son death. Jesus knew what God wanted from Him and what He wanted Jesus to do... and Jesus was obedient to the plan of His death because He knew this was God's will for Him. We couldn't never ever in a million year wrap our heads around the fact that God's Son died for us... God had this plan for Jesus. I could never kill or have someone kill one of my girls for someone else. I am way to selfish, but God is jealous for me.

"This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." John 15:12,13

I am not saying a non-believer can not love, because that is not true. You can be good and love all day long, but that is not what God wants or calls us to be. He wants us to be truthful and be all that He made us to be. His love is so far above anything we could ever do, but as a Christ follower we can strive to be that loving. Loving is so much more than just love... it is respect, patience, kindness, etc. It is so much more than words.

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, it is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoice in truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails."
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is innocence and never to be altered because of anything. If you can not be loving and kind through bad times (or really any times good or bad) than it isn't love. It is merely putting up with that person. But, thankfully we have a good example of love and how it can flourish and be something that grows through any calm or storm.

"By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth." 1 John 3:16-18

Love is hard. It goes hand in hand with labor... "labor of love" (1 Thessalonians 1:3). No one said it would be easy, but if God can do it we can do it. He made us out of His own image... so anything is possible. Through God all things are possible. No matter where a person comes from or what he or she's background my be... we need to reach out and be the hands and feet of Jesus and love all and show them God's love and be the light.

Remembering Psalm 103

2010-10-28T11:54:00.000-07:00

Last night a wise women reminded me of Psalm 103. God is so merciful to us... we constantly put God in this bubble and do things and think things that are so unpleasing to Him, but He continues to show us mercy. This is mercy we will never see or feel on earth until the 2nd coming of Jesus. This is mercy is unconditional love...

Psalm 103
Praise for the Lord Mercies

Bless the Lord, O my soul;
And that is all within me, bless His holy name!

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits:
Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all you diseases,
Who redeems yours life from destruction,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,
Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

The Lord executes righteousness
And justice for all who are oppressed.
He made known His ways to Moses,
His acts to the children of Israel.
The Lord is merciful and gracious,
Slow to anger, and abounding in mercy.
He will not always strive with us,
Nor will He keep His anger forever.
He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
Nor punished us according to our iniquities.

For the heavens and high above the earth,
So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;
As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
As a father pities his children,
So the lord pities those who fear Him.
For he knows our frame (Psalm 139:15);
He remembers that we are dust.

As for man, his days are like grass;
As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.
For the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
And its place remembers it no more (Job 7:10).
But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting
On those who fear Him,
And His righteousness to children's children,
To such as keep His covenant,
And to those who remember His commandments to do them.

The Lord has established His throne in heaven,
And His kingdom rules over all.

Bless the Lord, you His angels,
Who excel in strength, who do His word,
Heeding the voice of His word.
Bless the Lord, all you His hosts,
You ministers of His, who do His pleasure.
Bless the Lord, all His works,
In all places of His dominion.

Bless the Lord, O my soul!

This scripture really makes me sit and think about my life and what it is about. I don't want any part of my life not to be centered around Christ. Does that make sense? I want every part of everything I do to be pleasing to the Lord. I have figured out that feeling that you get when you know what you did was not what God wanted. Here is an example of that feeling... You all know I LOVE horses! I use to ride and I have missed it. Loving horses and being around them is like breathing for me... just so easy. When we got Hailee involved in horse back riding it made me begin to feel how much I had truly missed it. So, I talked to Hailee's instructor and asked her if she could train me. Of course she said yes... but when I emailed her about me riding I had this funny feeling that I shouldn't. I don't know if you know this but horse back riding is a very EXPENSIVE sport. Anyways... I continued on. I was so excited and let my feelings take control... but I couldn't shake this feeling inside, but I continued on my high. Around the time I had my third lesson I began to feel very overwhelmed with all that was on my plate and beginning to feel the stress financially. Then I began to realize what that unsettling feeling was... it was God. This feeling was not that God doesn't want me to ride, but more of that He doesn't want me to ride right now. He knows I have so much going on and more important things to tend to... like my relationship with Him. This is my example of that feeling... some will say it is your conscience but I say it is all God. It was hard for me to email Hailee's instructor and end my riding lessons, but I knew this was what God wanted... and really that is all I want.

My faith needs to not be in man, but in the One who holds it all in His hands.

Power of Prayer

2010-10-27T18:51:00.000-07:00

*Warning- I did not proof read this blog post.*

I have talked to all of you about my BFF, Lyndsay and her son Aidan. I have told you all how sick Aidan is and how none of the doctors knows what it is that is making him so sick. His symptoms seem to get worse and intensify. Lyndsay and her husband, Ben took Aidan to see a specialist is Illinois last month and it was useless, pointless, and a waste of time. He couldn't help them because Aidan doesn't have the constant symptoms of OMS. Ridiculous! Anyways... Lyndsay took Aidan to the ER a few weeks ago about because Aidan couldn't walk. He wasn't paralyzed, but he couldn't put weight on his legs and couldn't keep them straight. The doctors couldn't do anything... they said it was a virus and they just had to wait it out. To make a long story short... the next day he began to walk a little more and the next a little more than the day before. Aidan continues to have balance issues and issues inside. It seems like his little body is falling apart and gradually giving in, but Aidan continues to fight. He is a strong little boy and very strong heart... and I think it has a lot to do with his Momma.

This day has been good. I feel like prayers have been answered. Today Lyndsay went to see a doctor who specializes in movement. Come to find out the doctor also is a Neurologist. Praise the Lord. She was sweet, concerned (not to concerned to scare Lyndsay), and very thorough. She pulled out Aidan's chart and spoke to Lyndsay about things... asked her about things other doctors hadn't been concerned about. This Neurologist is now specifically on Aidan's case. Praise God! Aidan had a lot of blood taken today to check for all new things that could be wrong and causing Aidan's body to fail. So now we just wait until these test come back.

Another huge reason why today was so great is that our church was having a prayer meeting and asked for anyone who has been ill to come and be prayed over and be anointed with oil. As soon as we walked in that room I felt the Lord's presence. He was there in that room. It was so powerful. Aidan got prayed over by the power of holy words, he got scripture poured over him, and love and encouragement was spoken to Lyndsay. It was an amazing night. All these people that have been praying for Lyndsay and Aidan could put a face with these prayer requests and Lyndsay had a chance to see just a glimpse of who was praying for her and Aidan and hear these wonderful words from so many people. God was glorified tonight! He is so powerful and so able to heal Aidan. We are praying Aidan begins to be healed tonight and that God would completely heal this little boy. He is so worthy!

God is in control... and I need to seek Him more. I need to be obedient to His word and His whisper. He is so worthy of my obedience and I need to continue to remember He is way bigger than me and totally in control of all this chaos here on earth. I love my God and I feel it deepening more and more. My God is greater... stronger than any other...

Struggles...

2010-10-25T12:41:00.000-07:00

I struggle with the stupidest stuff! I was reading the Book of Deuteronomy today and reading about how the Israelites continued to question God after all he had done for them and all He has for them still. He wanted them to go to the land He had promised their forefathers too. The land flowing with milk and honey, but they were scared. Scared of who and what was down there.

So I sit and ponder... If I was in that day and age and was about to go into the promise land... would I be questioning God and His promises? I don't know... I am the type of person if you tell me something I am going to believe you and trust what you are telling me is the truth and that you are going to carry it out. I try to be like this. You should know if I tell you something... I am going to do my best to fulfill what I promised. So, yes I think I would be a believer and follow God on His promises. I guess you could call me Caleb. He seemed to be the only one ready to jump into whatever God had. If not there would be consequences.

So why in this day and age do I struggle with obedience. I know this is God telling me to get rid of my cable (one of my struggles). I really do not need it. I don't watch half the channels that we do have... I guess it is the fear of missing the channels we do watch. I know it sounds pretty pathetic. God has been working with me on this for a while and I continue to be disobedient and try to turn it around and make it all about me. Why?

This just makes me sick. Maybe it is making me sick because I have prayed that God would disgust me with sin. I am pretty disgusted with myself. If you could pray for God to continue to peak away at me until I give into His holiness.