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Thursday, October 5, 2017

His Love Defends Me

I have come to realize I felt lonely, because I didn't know this is where I need to be. Nothing as changed in my social status and I am okay with that. I think the Lord has something else in mind... so I will wait patiently.

This week has been so uplifting... even though not everything has gone to plan.

Hailee, my oldest, has a learning disability... it has to do with comprehension and so much more. She has been getting help from our school district... which I couldn't be more happy about. All through Elementary Hailee has struggled! I mean tears, heart ache, and anguish for my sweet girl, who puts her all in to everything and not receive the results she worked so hard for. As a mom and watching your child suffer and not be able to do ANYTHING...it is heart wrenching! But, in the end it wasn't up to me. It wasn't in my control. It was in our Heavenly Father's hands. He has taken her and molded her in to exactly how He made her... not in what I want for her... but, exactly what He made Hailee to be. This is Hailee's first year in Junior High and she is already soaring! She made all A's this past 6 weeks! Y'all ALL As and you know what? She has worked her butt off for those As and she has been greatly rewarded. I am in such praise and gratitude to all the teachers that supported and loved Hailee through all the hard years... and now to be in such a place of confidence and assurance of who she is and can strive to be. The Lord has done nothing less than take this child, shielded her under His wings, and protected her heart. And I sit here in tears that He loves Hailee more than I do and that His love is so deep, so wide, and so unfathomable. He is a good good Father!

If you don't know... my family lives in Houston, TX and about a month ago we got hit by Hurricane Harvey. We didn't actually get hit by the hurricane, but we got Tropical Storm Harvey that sat over us and dumped a TREMENDOUS amount of water over the Houston area! We got 9 TRILLION GALLONS OF RAIN! How much is 9 trillion gallons of rain you might ask... It would fill the Great Salt Lake TWICE, It would fill the Empire State Building 33,906 times, It would cover New Orleans in 128ft of water, It equals 9 days of the Mississippi River flow, and It would cover the Lower 48 states with .17" of water. I mean... SO MUCH WATER!

On a good note, our home did not get flooded. Which we are so very thankful for, because we do not have flood insurance. Our whole neighborhood actually did not flood... our garages took on water, but other than that we were on an 'island'. What a lot of people don't talk about or realize is a lot of roofs leaked. Our roof leaked so much, which left our house with rain damage. For over a month we have been waiting on our insurance company to tell us what we would get from this rain damage (to help pay for the repairs). The past week we have been so eager to hear back from them and we finally did. They told us they would NOT be covering anything. It's a long story why, but in the end WHAT DO WE NEED HOME INSURANCE FOR if they aren't going to pay for a disaster that has struck our house? We were so disheartened the other day. But, God knew this before the storm even hit us. He knew about our hearts desire. He knew we had worry. He knew our feelings. He never once turned away.

After the devastating news that our insurance denied us and now we had to go through the process of FEMA (Lord help us!)... we were offered some help. A friend offered to help pay for our damage and got us in contact with a repair crew (whatever they are called). He guy came out the next day and inspected our damage and there is A LOT!! $8,200 A LOT!! I have been in awe of everything that has fallen into place... we have gotten some financial ad, we have applied for a doable loan, and my husband, Bob has spoken to someone at FEMA. I mean... no we don't have the money to pay for all the work that has to be done to our home, but the Lord has provided and is still taking care of us.

We have never had to go without. We have never not had a safe place to lay our head. We have never had to be on our own. I have felt alone, but this week has given me a new perspective that I am not alone. Not everything is going to be perfect and happy all the time, but I am not alone. His love defends me! This song Your Love Defends Me by Matt Maher spoke to my heart yesterday. He never lets go!

You are my joy, You are my song
You are the well, the One I'm drawing from
You are my refuge, my whole life long
Where else would I go

Surely my God is the strength of my soul
Your love defends me, Your love defends me
And when I feel like I'm all alone
Your love defends me, Your love defends me

Day after day, night after night
I will remember, you're with me in this fight
Although the battle, it rages on
The war is already won
I know the war is already won

We sing Hallelujah
You're my portion
My salvation

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