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Thursday, May 22, 2014

Unexpected Blessings

God is ever so faithful and never failing... so easily as a human I forget how amazing awesome He is... I always know in my head how great He is but, when He is in my sight and showing me His magnificent greatness I get completely overwhelmed by His glory and in awe of how deeply He cares for us. Sometimes it is ever so quiet on His end and as a human that lives in noise that is hard... it makes it hard in the quietness to think He is listening to me or knowing what I am going through, but He always knows.

My Father is divine... He always works in ways that are mysterious to me, but always in a clever and awesome way! Yesterday I specifically prayed for clarity and directness... I told God I could not depend on my own feelings because when I go strictly on my feelings I usually get myself in a pickle. I asked Him to send me a sign, a person, or His specific words on how and what I needed to do to raise this money for this New Delhi mission trip. I told Him I was His and whatever His will I would do... maybe it was a no, maybe a yes... but no matter what I was His vessel. I had an idea in my head on what I was suppose to do to raise this money, but I told Him I was going to do nothing unless He told me directly what to do. I was completely waiting and leaning on Him. After I prayed a asked some friends to pray with me and I believe some did because I had this unexplainable peace! Yesterday afternoon I had a friend come to me and say her husband and her wanted to help with my trip funds... they went above and beyond and sent the entire amount I was needing. I was (and still am) in complete shock and awe... I was on my knees in an uncontrollable sobbing praise for about 15 minutes! I am still so very overwhelmed.

Don't get me wrong... this is not how all my answered prayers happen, but this is something He has put inside me and it has grown more and more... this is His desire he planted in me that is now my DEEP desire to do and glorify Him. Funny how that works!

The body of the Church completely blows me away! Again... I am feeling completely in awe, humble, honored, shocked, loved, overwhelmed, understood, and covered in prayer.

Praise be to God!


Monday, May 19, 2014

Heart of the Mission

From the very beginning of my walk as a true follower of Jesus Christ has been this longing and love for the nations. I can't get enough of other cultures! The Lord has specifically narrowed and zoned my heart to a very particular region of this world. I don't know what it is and words could never describe this deep desire to love and throw myself into the most unique situations. I could have never told you in a million years that I would be traveling half way across the world to do missionary work in India... of all places India! But, as I have traveled to India two times and Bangladesh once there are no other people groups more beautiful. I look at the Asian Indian people group and I see nothing more than beauty... Beauty that is so easily degraded in their society. I see life... Just like life that you and I have! But most of these lives are not worth anything unless they are born in a high cast or of wealth. It is heart wrenching to say the least but, there is a bigger picture to why I go.

I don't go on these mission trips for myself (even through it is always an eye opener), I don't go because I am going to change the world... I go because He has called me. He has put this calling on my heart many years ago and now that I am a Christian He has zoned that calling towards a purpose. A purpose to love and show them how much their life is worth... that no matter what anyone has ever called them, treated them, or terrible things they or someone else has done that there is a forgiving God who shows grace and mercy that no human on earth could ever come close to revealing. A purpose to be an empty vessel filled with the Holy Spirit to love these girls/women in a way never thought possible and to share my story of redemption that there is beauty from ashes.

But one of the things that is hard to grasp about being called to a mission a is money. I ask God "How can you travel across the world with no money?" Most of the time He is dead quiet and it makes me think well maybe I am not suppose to go... but I am one of little faith. He is bigger than my travel and lodging money problems... I know He is in control but, OH MY... it is soooo HARD to sit and WAIT!

For over a year now, I have been called to go to New Delhi, India... I have been reassured of this but, funding is a huge problem right now. I am fundraising, but it is oh so hard sometimes! I know He has a bigger plan and He knows how this is all going to fall into place... but truthfully it is hard to sit and wait! If you think of me please pray... Pray for His will, pray for His glory, Pray that I will be patient. Thank you

Thursday, May 15, 2014

It's the little things...

I haven't blogged in a while and I have really wanted to but, never had clear focus on one certain thing to say. Today something happened... everyday I ask the Lord to use me in any situation that He needs me in... It may simply be a smile to a complete stranger, maybe a quick How are you and eye contact, or maybe to simply talk to someone and show them you care. I am learning that just to listen to someone has been lost and in dire need to return. From my own experience I have had experiences with people who have seemed to have completely no interest in what I was saying in regards to a conversation we were having, or after I reply to a certain question or try to speak to a person they completely ignore me. These are just a few situations I have been in myself that have made me feel unimportant, boring, and uninteresting. Which is very wrong and rude! I really try to show that I care and listen to everyone I talk with, because I know how it feels to not be listened to.

I don't know how it is at your kid's schools this time of year but, I have been on 3 field trips in the last month and life is CRAZY and BUSY! Both of my girls have had a field trips to see a play in a theater, then they went to a park near by the school to have lunch and to play. The parent chaperones usually meet the kids at the park to eat lunch with them and watch them play while the grown ups mingle.

The first field trip was with Hailee's class and I have a great relationship with her teacher. The teacher calls me her prayer warrior... so we were talking about things going on with her and I was sharing a few things but, at this time we were talking there was this sweet lady standing beside me... she was listening and taking it all in. Later Hailee's teacher and I were talking and she said she thinks the Lord had bigger plans for that conversation we had at the playground underneath the big Oak trees. She told me she doesn't believe that the sweet lady that was standing next to me knows of the personal relationship between our God and herself. There was a sweet reason for that conversation that she listened to... and I am hoping He uses it for His glory.

Today there was another one of these God moments under the same big Oak trees in the very same spot. It was this man and his wife just spilling out what they are going through... He shared with me he has prostate cancer and that tomorrow he was having surgery. Truthfully it caught me off guard, but I had this moment to listen and show I cared and now I have the privilege to pray for him. I don't believe in coincidences... just God.

He is BIG AWESOME and MOVING! I feel like ever since I stepped back from serving the Bhutanese that my service to my Savior is not enough... that it at times is stagnant and not sufficient. I know it is not about me and my works... and ALWAYS for Him.

I believe bringing glory to Him is in the little things too. Loving on people through listening to them, eye contact, and being engaged in what they are saying. I am not always perfect, but I do know I want people to see Jesus through me.