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Wednesday, February 12, 2014

An Ugly Secret...

You wanna know an ugly secret of mine? I am selfish and self-centered.

This week this ugly nasty sin has been staring me down. I have had an awful selfish heart towards a few things that have come up. How dare anything come into my day and wreck it!

I had a quick awaking. Maybe you can say God had a come to Jesus meeting with me.

Who am I?

This ugly sin has a way to make it's presence known to me that I have the right to act the way I act and think the way I think. It tells me "You don't have to do that." or "You don't have to go there." or "You don't owe them anything." I start to believe this ugliness.

I cry out to God "I don't want to. This isn't fair. Haven't I done enough."

He quickly reminds me what he has called me to do. He reminds me that this new life is not about me, but about being like His Son more and more. But the most precious thing about Him reminding me... is His gentleness. He doesn't yell and throw fire balls at my head, but He gently reminds me of who He is. And as he gently reminds me and reveals my sin to me... I feel ashamed at how I acted and the fit I threw. All that Jesus did for me quickly disappeared when things didn't go my way. What is wrong with me? Why am I so weak?

As he gently reminded me of who He is... He told me he was answering my prayer. I prayer I pray constantly... to reveal the sin in my life that I am blinded to. He did that not as a vengeful God, but as a God who deeply cares for me. He knows I am seeking Him and pressing into Him... He knows my heart and what I desire... He is faithful as I request the uneasy... and He gently answers even though it will hurt my flesh.

He is my Father. He is a good Father... and I have no other Father like Him.

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