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Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Where is Jesus?

I know sometimes I become very overcome by the darkness of this world. My heart aches from the attack on unborn life to the capturing of innocent men and women and making them slaves. My heart aches as God's word is being rejected and our own worldly desires are over shadowing the holiness of God. My heart aches as believers in our Lord Jesus Christ are scared to speak the Lord's name in fear of offending someone.

But, I was encouraged today while listening to our Christian radio station here in Houston that starting today on Capitol Hill there was going to be the annual reading of the entire Bible. People come and volunteers read starting in Genesis and ending in Revelation. They say it takes 90 hours to read the whole book. Amazing! This encouraged me a lot today and prayed earnestly for our country, for the freedom we have, and for our holy God to fall upon us.

I pray for an awakening in the church, His people, and our homes. We are all so lost and confused without Him and we don't even know it. I want nothing to do with anything that has nothing to do with my Father... it is very hard for me to make myself shine my light in the darkness, because I want to stay where the light is the brightest. But, this is not what we are called to do... we are told to go out into all the world no matter if it is dark or not.

I am thankful for my faith and how it is growing stronger, because the day will come where the light will be hard to find. But, I am thankful one little flicker of light can light up the darkest of rooms.

Saturday, April 27, 2013


Fundraising is not my favorite thing to do... not because I have to do work or anything like that... It is not my favorite thing because I hate asking for money. Even though I am not literally asking for money... I know doing the fundraiser is for money and everyone participating know I need money. But, the Lord teaches me through these times to put my pride aside and let him worry about that. I was very anxious and unsure about this fundraiser that I did today, because I was not having the response I had from the last child watch fundraiser. Last year we had 22 kids in our home and we raised so much money! I was comparing this fundraiser to last years... but God gave me a light slap and said "It doesn't matter how much you will raise in this fundraiser, but have faith I WILL PROVIDE!" So, I rested in that... and he did provide! He sent more kids than I was expecting... Plus I had the joy to build relationships with the next generation. Nothing is sweeter than having a conversation with a sweet 7 year old on why I am doing this and where and what God is calling me to do. Even though Bob and I are tired... we are beyond blessed!

Plus, to make this day even brighter the Lord is starting a new friendship with a neighborhood lady. I am amazed at how our miraculous Creator works and how His timing is always perfect. I few months ago some women were challenged to walk their neighborhood and prayer walk. I did that and I am beginning to see the fruit. I am amazed at God's beautiful glory and tender care for us as we step out and do something a little uncomfortable to our World's view.

I am weak in my flesh, but overly strong in my Spirit.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Wherever God sends me

Tomorrow is my first Fundraiser for the mission God has me on. I am excited about what he is doing in me. I am excited to see who he brings tomorrow.

As I prepare for the country God is taking me... I have an eagerness to be reunited with my brothers and sisters in Bangladesh. I think of the moment I will see them and the tears that will fall as I am reunited... I think of the embrace and joy I will fill. I pray that this is His will and not mine... I pray as this is a desire of my heart that it will be pleasing to Him.

My life is not my own, but a constant sacrifice to Him.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Many thoughts No words

Lately, there have been many thoughts going through my mind... most of my thoughts are wrapped around this world we have become. My heart aches for those who do not know their Savior and are out there doing this on their own. Soon that days will be so bad that I fear for the lives that feel alone. But, I do know that God knows this... He knows my heart, the lost people's heart, and everyone's concerns and fears. I pray as the lasts days come closer many who do not know their Maker will be at a point that they will hear the whisper of God and that by the grace and mercy of our Lord will soften their hearts to the point of throwing away the confussion. I believe so much of our pride keeps away from becoming closer to our God... maybe even to not knowing Him.

I never know what the Lord has for me each and everyday but, every morning I pray for His path for me that day would be evident and that I would be obedient to follow Him. Am I obedient everyday? No. But, He is teaching me everyday and revealing to me my wrong and I take that as a lesson and warning.

May we not hide behind our doors and may we get out and shine the Light we were given as a gift.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Turning to God for more than...

So while my grandmother, who I call Mom was in the hospital we watched on TV this preacher give a sermon. He read and spoke on Amos. I am not expert on the Bible and truthful have not read through Amos (more than likely), but the sermon spoke a lot about these days we have been experiencing as a country.

We have been experiencing a lot of hurt and attacks on our country lately especially the Boston bombing and all that goes a long with this horrible terror. The police believe they have found the suspects and after the last one was caught and arrested the whole city of Boston was celebrating in the streets shouting "USA USA USA!" It was like they were routing for a US team in the Olympics or something but, no... It was excitement over the victims being caught and in critical conditions. Don't get me wrong... I am happy he was caught and justice will fall upon them but, I am not sure how I feel about the shouting in the streets. Do you?

Of course during this time the country is coming together and praying... Praying for the victims, the families of the victims, and for God to intervene and fix all the bad stuff going on but, Why do we turn to God for a short time?? Why do we turn to him only when we need him or something? Is God a genie?

I believe things in our world will get worse before they get better. I believe this is only the beginning of hurt and blood shed. We should not seek The Lord just when we need him but, everyday (even when we think we don't need him)! There is stuff going on every single day that hurts or brings terror upon families and God simply once us to turn to Him and nothing else of this world.

What is going to happen now? We are going to return to our selfish ways and turn our backs on God. He is a God, who is jealous for us! We are not going to see calmness until people of this world quit turning their back on Him and start seeking God as the answer to our problems. I know I sound crazy but, nothing is going to get better without Him.

Think about it. Try praying to him everyday throughout the day for one month... I bet you anything He will change your life.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013


Last night I found out my grandmother (I call her Mom), who is like a mother to me had a stoke earlier in the day. She assumed it was something else and did not go to the hospital. So now I am in Tyler, TX anxiously waiting to see her.

I am sleeping in her house, in her bed tonight. I love her room because she has pictures covering the walls. Old and new photos of her family, pictures and photos from her travels around the world, drawings from students (when she was a teacher), and diplomas of all her accomplishments. This room is filled with memories!

All day today I have thought about life. We never know when our last day will be, we never know when we will meet with a loved one for the last time, and we never will know when sickness will fall upon us.
But as I have been thinking about Mom a lot today I have thought of all she has been through... Loss of a child, loss of husbands, sickness that has fallen upon her, the list can go on... She has never left her Makers side. I am sure she has questioned Him etc, but she is the one that presses on knowing Jesus when know one else is. She is the one that never gave up on me and keep bringing me back to Jesus when I would be with her.

I believe Mom has more time on this earth and I know she will not take it for granted because she has been given a life of heart ache but she keeps pushing on.

I hope and pray we can use her faith as an example to live by... No matter how bad or hard things may get... We have One who is right be side us ready to carry us to our next journey. To live this life for what it was given to us for... To love one another and cherish our memories.

Monday, April 15, 2013

The Calling of my Heart

The nations are my calling... I think you all know this, but what you don't know is the constant aching of my heart when He changed my plans. My heart my mind is always with my brothers and sisters in Bangladesh. I have a deep love for the Bengali people. I know and I still feel I will return, but I am guessing the Lord has a different plan on when I will return. He has put a deep calling in me to go to Jordan... in Jordan there is a new ministry our church has begun partnering with. This ministry helps the Syrian Refugees who had to flee from Syria due to the violent and unsafe environment. Some of the Syrians have lived in Jordan for over 20 years and they are just waiting for their home country to calm down so they can return home. My heart aches for refugees... I couldn't imagine being forced out of your home country and told to start a new life or a temperary life in an unfimilar land.

My heart yearns to return to Bangladesh and maybe it will but, right now the country is not doing well. We don't even know if they next trip in October will happen. There is so much uncertainty right now... But I do know what the Lord is telling me and even though it breaks my heart I have said yes to going where He leads me.

I am excited for where the Lord is taking me next and excited for the new adventure of meeting new people and loving them as Christ loves them.

I will give a new update... when I hear more clearly on what is next.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Why is it so hard for Americans to wrap their mind around the Truth?

For some odd reason the Lord led me to read the book of Nahum. It is a very short book; only 3 chapters, but why? He also has been having me read through Romans. Romans is an awesome book and today I read through Chapter 3... let me just say chapter 3 is so good! But, at the end of my read Father got me thinking... Why do we as Americans have such a hard time believing the Truth? Why do some many of us have to change the Truth to something we feel comfortable with? Or why do we feel like we need to change the very words of God to something that makes mores sense to us or to make it "better"? Let me just share when it started getting good and where He began to make me ponder... (*warning: I will be jumping around in chapter 3)

"First of all, the Jews were entrusted with the whole revelation of God."
They were entrusted with God's law (the whole revelation if God, Ex. 19-20; Duet. 4:8). They were the race through whom the Messiah come to earth (Is. 11:1-10; Matt. 1:1-17). They were the beneficiaries of the covenants with God himself (Gen. 17:1-16; Ex. 19:3-6). But these privileges did not make them better than anyone else.

"Even if everyone else is a liar, God is true."
Once Jesus died and everyone had access to Him... some Jews began to think they were better than the Gentiles (you and I) but, in the end Jesus did not just die for the Jews... he died for Americans, Indians, Africans, etc. No matter how good we think we are... we are nothing in comparison to God and these days we seem to forget this.

Then Paul begins to talk about the law and how it is not about following it out of obligation, but following out of your heart.

"Obviously, the law applies to those to whom it was given, for its purpose is to keep people from having excuses, and to show the the entire world is guilty before God. For no one can ever be made right by doing what the law commands. The law simply shows us how sinful we are."

"We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are."

Faith?? I wonder if a lot of people know what this is or not? Do you know what this means?

Faith- complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

To believe in the one true God no matter if you can see him or not. Putting your trust in the one who made all things and knows all things before it even happens. Knowing it is not up to you and no matter how much you will fight to be in control... in the end it is God's will. God's way. Not my way, but only his and trusting a believing in his promises in the Bible that he has got everything that will come my way in his hands... if I will simply have faith.

"For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserving kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. For God presented Jesus as a sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood."

Sin?? What is it?

Sin- an immoral act considered to be a transgression against divine law.

Sin is a lie (no matter how big or small... there is no in between with God), murder, looking at women with sexual intentions (married or not), putting other gods before the one true God (your god can be the TV, your phone, computer, or maybe a figurine your worship), wanting what others have (not being content with your own things), maybe wanting some one else's wife, using the holy name of God in your everyday speech (such as "Oh my God!"), not respecting your parents (even though they maybe wrong they are still your parents... you do not have to like what they do or maybe who they are but they still are above you), you should not steal (even if it only costs 10 cents it is not yours to own if you do not pay for it). My list can go on and on, but one thing I do know is... No sin is bigger than the other! In God's eyes a sin is a sin. Murdering is equal to not obeying your parents.

"God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he declares sinners to be right in his sight when they believe in Jesus. Can we boast, then, that we have done anything to be accepted by God? No, because our acquittal is not based on obeying the law. It is based on faith. So we are made right with God through faith and not by obeying the law."

I can be good all day long. I can follow rules, I can help people, I can do what as I see right, but all of it is nothing if we don't believe or trust in Jesus. I am going to be getting to my point very soon, but we as Americans (and other nationalities) think that this is it... being good, helping others. There is more to it... being in unity with the one who made you. I don't care what anyone says we did not form from slim! We are way to unique and confusing to have anything to do with being formed from slim. Think about it... No one is a like. We all are so very different... think about our bodies... some people have big noses, some are tall while others are short, we all have different feet, and our insides are so very different. Some of us can get sick very easily, while some are very sensitive to animals and pollen. My list can go one and on. We were created for a very specific purpose and I believe it is to learn to have faith in the one who died for us. The one who sits in heaven knowing what is going to happen next in our life, but what are we to do? Have trust and to lean on each other in unity as we become believers in Christ Jesus that our hearts would be one.

"After all, is God the God of the Jews? Isn't he also the God of the Gentiles? Of course he is. There is only one God, and he makes people right with himself only by faith, whether you are Jews or Gentiles. Well then, if we emphasize faith, does this mean that we can forget about the law? Of course not! In fact, only when we have faith do we truly fulfill the law."

It all rolls in together... faith and the Law. Once you become a believer, you never want to go back to your old self. Our old self was bond by bondage (anger, guilt, grudges, or sex, pornography, etc.)... once you begin that new life you should want nothing of the before to be part of your relationship with our holy God.

When I was done reading this chapter, God made me really think about what is making us as Americans turn away from God and except things of this world over the one who created us and it hit me! We don't get the text of the Bible! What is a sacrifice? We have nothing to relate this to in our culture. Sacrifice? Why would we ever sacrifice something that is so "good" and makes us feel "good"? We have no idea what this means... the perfect spotless Lamb. Or maybe we as Americans have no idea about the the Law the Jews follow. I mean I had no clue when I was younger what this all meant. And when we as Christian Americans run at the unbelieving Americans... "Do you know your Savior?", or if we start talking to them about Jesus and why he is so great... they don't get it because we never started in the beginning.

Does this make any sense? We as Americans are lost because we as Christian Americans forget or don't know... you have to tell the story before you start asking questions.