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Thursday, January 31, 2013

This Aching...

Today has been a sad messy day. It started on my way to see my Bhutanese friends... I cried out to my Father as I knew he was going to use me for his purpose today. Then not long after arriving to the apartments, where my friends live, I was given terrible news of a husband not wanting, not loving his wife anymore... Hurting my sweet friend with hurtful words and making her feel like nothing. As she told me all of this my heart was breaking because I could tell that she was trying to hold it in and not to show emotion. I asked my sweet friend if I could pray for her and she said yes. So I did... I prayed the best I could as we were both weeping. Thankfully words do not need to be spoken for our Heavenly Father and Creator to know what is going on inside of us. Such a sweet woman made to feel worthless in a world that feels so big and out of her reach to change anything.

My sweet friend and I spent the day together and we did things together we don't normally do... Shop! It was a sweet time I will treasure forever.

On my way home from our visit... I cried. I cried for my friend, I cried for her husband, I cried for their marriage, and I cried for their salvation. None of this is in my control... I know this, but what to so about this aching? I don't want to get rid of it because I need it to continue my thoughts and prayers, but what do I do with it? I am sad! Is that sadness there to mourn, cry, and pray for this family? Have you felt this deep sorrow for a dear friend? Not of the same nationality or even from your own beliefs, but something deep inside that has connected your 2 hearts? This is all so new to me but, what I can say is it feels right! This love is deep for my sweet friend and I know the feeling is mutual... And I know that is all I am to do... Is love her unconditionally.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

What do we know of Creation?

Seriously! What do we know about the creation story? Yes, we know God started in the beginning, we know he created everything in 6 days, we may or may not know everything he created or the order that he created it in, and we may not even know why he even did it at all if he new how it would all turn out.

I am studying creation right now as it will be the first story I share tomorrow (along with everyone else in the class) in my Gospel Story Telling class. I am learning a lot! Yes, I knew the basics but, in these 7 days my Creator has taught me a lot. The crazy thing is he has taught me about his Creation through using some sign language. He has shown me how I learn (which I knew but still kinda crazy)... I learn visually and by doing. So he has begun his good work in me and teaching me through my hands. Which as I write this it is beginning to make sense and my stomach is turning.

Father has begun to reveal to me why he has created this world in the order he has... On day 1 he said let there be light and there was light but, why in day 4 does he begin talking about this light again... I think he had begun the light because it was so stinkin' dark before and as he began to make things grow he realized they didn't need constant light anymore but, time to rest and cool off with maybe some dew. Yes, he began making land and planting before the sun and moon but, maybe they needed that time to grow rapidly. Who knows but, things are starting to make since to me now.

Today has I was working on my story telling I began to break into tear when I got to day 5... It made me realize how much he truly cares about his creation. God made the creatures in the sea and the birds that they will be unique in their own kind. God saw this as good and blessed them and said go multiply and fill the earth. He said this about fish and birds... How much more was he pleased about man in his own image.

So getting to day 6 and the creation of man is quite overwhelming... God wanted someone to look like him and have characteristics like him so, he created out of dust from the ground and his on breathe in mans nostrils... And there he was... Perfectness in God's eyes and God named man Adam. God saw Adam needed a helper... So what did God do? He put Adam quietly asleep, removed a rib out of Adam's own body and made woman. This woman was given the name Eve.... And you know what the best part was to me... God saw that this was VERY good and he blessed them and said be fruitful and multiply and be in charge of all the animals of the earth. What a huge job!!

The biggest thing The Lord spoke to me about this whole creation of man and women thing is... God created man first and he did this for a very important reason... Because man was to be head/in charge and woman came a long to be the helper, to compliment the man. Truthfully, what is wrong with that? This has gotten lost in translation as the times have changed... And you may say "Well the Bible was written over 2000 years ago." Or "God wouldn't want use to lower ourselves to anyone... We are all equal." Or "The Bible has been translated so many times that the true meaning has gotten lost." My answer to all of this is God's Truth is the same from the beginning of Genesis to the end of Revelation... God's word NEVER contradicts itself (no matter what translation), and no matter if it is 2000 years later from when all this was written it doesn't say anywhere in the Word if the world changes you can change too.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

The new year...

I have been wanting to write for quite a while but, kept putting it off. I don't get on my computer much anymore but, do everything from my phone. What is this world coming to? LOL! I am loving technology because, as I am laying in bed I had this sudden urge to write but, since I am so lazy I decided to see if blogger has an app... Guess what... It did! So here I am typing my first blog of the new year through my phone! :)

A lot has been going on... Last year was more than I could ever imagine and prayers were answered that I didn't realize were being answered. Does that make sense? I had been praying all year (maybe a little before 2012) that Father would break my heart for what breaks His... And He did his and continues! This year He is continuing to break me and He is having me pray for things that have been aching in my heart for a while now. An aching that is so deep and close to me that it hurts to pray for... But, Father is a God, who is able to do ANYTHING! I can't even imagine what He has planned for these prayers I am earnestly praying for. This year is going to probably be my hardest yet... He is asking BIG things from me! One of them is giving up my control I think I have in this family and giving it to my husband. You got it... Submitting to Bob. The love of my earthly life... Giving it to him... No wait... Giving it to God! Nothing is of my own. I am and never have been in control of what I thought I was in control of... The second thing the Lord has told me is that I will be doing A LOT of praying! I just thought I prayed a lot last year... That was nothing! He has given my every thought since the beginning of this year to prayer. Yes... I cannot think of a single thought He has put in my brain that had nothing to do with someone or something to pray about... I am totally serious! I am not taking this lightly...

The prayers I am praying and the submitting I am praying about etc.... HURTS! It is a constant aching and weeping. Recently, I was in a dark funk... Do I know why? Yes and no. Yes meaning I was overwhelmed by all The Lord is asking of me ALREADY! No meaning satan is playing with me on this or I simply do not know. All I do know is that my Father has got it all under control. Once again I thought I had it but, really... truthfully... I do not!

So, this is about all that has been going on... Oh yea, I started a Bible study class at church, learning how to Gospel story tell. I am so excited! Our first assignment is Genesis 1-2... In the beginning... Father really revealed Himself to me the other day and truly opened my eyes to His creation that I have never seen before. It was simply the most beautiful moment.

Well my friends, it is midnight and I feel so much weight off my shoulders by writing. Thanks for listening and please excuse the mistake because, I am not proof reading. Goodnight