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Friday, December 30, 2011

All my Lord and nothing more

These past couple of week I have felt attacked. Attacked by satan... I have had bad sleep, I have been so tired, I have had pain in my jaw and a throbbing tooth, I have had another type of infection thing flare up, and have been having hip pain. The majority of these ailments have flared up in the past week. But let me share with you a little story...

Last week when I began to have this jaw pain I was thinking nothing of it because sometimes I have jaw pain when I chew to much gum (weird I know but what can a gum chewer do?), but it started making me realize this isn't the same thing as my "normal" jaw pain from gum. I came to this realization when everything was closed for Christmas and of course this is when it really began to bother me. So the day after Christmas I text messaged a friend of mine, whose husband is a pediatric dentist and they refereed me to a couple of dentists and she also told me to call the emergency number. I didn't really feel like it was an emergency, but I did. I called a few dentist emergency numbers but they didn't take new patients as emergency cases. Nice right? So I gave up and thought I would pursue it more tomorrow. Before I went to bed I took 3 Tylenol so it would help with any inflammation and help me sleep and it did help.

I woke up the next morning and I felt like it was getting better, so I blew it off and said I would be fine but as soon as I get back from India I will go to the dentist (if you don't know... I really REALLY dislike dentists). Well... I did not take Tylenol Wednesday night... I thought I would just try it. Well I did not sleep well and around 3 AM I got up and had to take Tylenol because my tooth was throbbing... it didn't hurt but it just throbbed like there was so much pressure. Thursday morning I knew something was not right, but I still didn't want to go to the dentist. I had to much going on. I talked to Bob and he said I should go so I wouldn't have a problem in India. What a smart man he is!

I gave in and I called a dentist's office that took our insurance but they were closed. Then I called another office and they just had an appointment open up... WHAT! The lady who made my appointment transferred me to the lady who deals with the insurance and I was telling her about the tooth that was bothering me and that 6 years ago I had a root canal done and that now it was throbbing. She recommended me call the Endodontist who did my root canal because if it was the tooth that is causing issues that the dentist wouldn't be able to do anything anyways and the dentist would send me to the Endodontist. She was trying to save me money... to go straight to where I needed to go instead of running all around and spending all this money. She gave me the number to the Endodontist I saw 6 years ago and I called.

When I called I told the secretary I didn't know if this was the office I had my root canal done or not and she check and it was! I told her my problem and told her the story and that I was leaving the country in a couple of days and she asked me how close I was to the office. I told her I was really close and I could be there very soon. I told her I had to find someone to watch my children and she gave me a little extra time, but I GOT IN!! I am super thankful for my friend, who was able to watch my children on such short notice... it makes me want to be more like her. :o) I got the the Endodontist's office and I got right in to see Dr. Garza and I had x-rays done and he was right there to tell me the problem.

It was bad news... I have an abscess under the crown of my tooth I had the root canal done 6 years ago. It needs to be cleaned out and that means a whole new root canal. UGH! Dr. Garza was ready to do the root canal right then and there! All I could think about was I needed to talk to Bob. LOL! I asked him how much it was going to be and he said between $1300 and $1400. I told him I could not pay that right now... personally all I could think about was India and how much that cost and how was I supposed to get this money. LOL! But, he did have another option... take a very strong antibiotic while gone and then come back and have the root canal done. I told him that is what I would have to do. Dr. Garza was a huge blessing... he was very understanding and talked me through it all. He did give me WORST case scenario... if the pain is so bad and swelling begins and gets horrible that I need to find a dentist or a Endodontist and have a root canal done in India or WORSTER case scenario... have my entire tooth removed. LOL! I know very humorous!

But, other than being blessed by an awesome Endodontist is he gave me a discount. He gave me 25% of this visit and 25% of my root canal... my root canal was now going to cost me $1000! I know that is still is a lot of money, but Dr. Garza did not have to help me out, but he did! I will have to say even though this whole situation didn't work out how I would want it too, but I do know God had His hand in it all. I was in tears all the way to my friend's house to pick up the girls. Tears of joy and tears of serving an AWEsome God! I am in AWE of Him! I know without a doubt He is going to blow my mind even more while we are in India.

This is a little of what God has been up to these past few days and today... I have been covered, blanketed by His perfect PEACE! I was talking with a good friend earlier and I couldn't explain it, but now I have figured out... it is His peace.

"The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint." Isaiah 40

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Ray of Hope

Story

Merry Christmas, my friends! It was a wonderful holiday here in the Greene house! It was so nice not to have to do anything or go anywhere... well mostly because everything was closed and we couldn't. :o) It was a great Christmas and I will post pictures tomorrow.

I thought I would let you know what it going on... the Lord is doing some incredible things in my life (our life). You all know I am going to India in 2 days and the team I am flying across the world with is AMAZING! God really knew what He was doing when he put this team together (well... He always knows what He is doing!). I don't really know why God has placed me on this team... yes, I know... I love Him and we are all called to spread the good news... but why me? Why am I going to India? What is my purpose? I pray this will be revealed while there or when I return... but no matter what I know God has big things planned!

A few of us are going to have the opportunity to share our stories and I have said I will share mine... so the past week I have been trying to write it out and I think I have finished tonight. I pray through the testament of my story one heart will be tugged at... I pray the Lord will use my story or hard times to show a young woman there is always hope and love... a love that is indescribable. I pray they will hear that.

As I was writing out my testimony all I could think about were the people that were part of it all... some of them hurt me and some of them helped me, but it seemed like there was more hurt than help. Is that just what happens when you don't know the Lord? I have read it over and over and there is so much hurt that has really helped make me who I am today. One day I will share it with y'all, but right now I am not brave enough. :o) This will actually be the first time I share my story full and complete with anybody. So, if you would like to pray for me. I would really appreciate it. :o)

If you would like to pray more specifically for our India mission trip, feel free to use this as a prayer guide:

-Pray for the India Justice Ministry Mission Trip (12 Women) that leaves today, Jan 1-12, to minister to women/girls caught in brothels in Kolkata, India
-Pray for the women/girls of these brothels to be delivered and come to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ as Savior
-Pray for the team as they teach sewing and jewelry making skills as a alternate form of income
-Pray for God to use the presentation of the Jesus Film to touch the hearts of each woman/girl with the gospel
-Pray the team’s eyes will be open to needs and they will be bold beyond their comfort zone
-Pray for the team’s safety as they move around on the busy streets of Kolkata
-Pray for team members Kay Smith (leader) and daughter Kaytlin Norman, Brenda Debor and daughter Lauren, Jana Soroski and daughter Rachael, Sterling Greene, Barb Willhoit, Jill Fields, Kim Torti, Janet Caldwell, and Christine Smith.

Friday, December 16, 2011

My Hiding Place

As my children are having a quiet time (which was in desperate need) I am going to share what is going on with me and my heart as I prepare for the India mission trip.

The Lord is bringing me aware of my many faults and sins these past few weeks. He has been showing me love that I knew of but was not participating in... my loss. But, as He has been opening my eyes and my heart I have again began to grieve. Grieving once again for the lost and the people who truly don't know His love... I believe my grieving started again because once again I was brought down of my high horse and was shown His true love. I thank Him for this humbleness and lowliness... it makes me truly remember how holy and righteous He truly is.

Yesterday, there were a few things that happened that hurt me and I think because of this hurt satan had a chance to weasel his way in and he did! He made me doubt for a few minutes, but I knew that was not from the Lord. The Lord is not fear or doubt... He is steady, my Rock, and my Fortress. I am thankful for prayer and the mighty name of Jesus Christ. I am thankful for His name which makes the demons shudder. I did feel a perfect peace when I fell asleep and I know that could have been from no one but my Lord Jesus Christ.

The past few months I have been reading Isaiah to the girls in the morning and I have been comforted once again by the words of God.

"Strengthen the feeble hands,
steady the knees that give way;
say to those with fearful hearts,
“Be strong, do not fear;
your God will come,
he will come with vengeance;
with divine retribution
he will come to save you.”

Then will the eyes of the blind be opened
and the ears of the deaf unstopped.
Then will the lame leap like a deer,
and the mute tongue shout for joy.
Water will gush forth in the wilderness
and streams in the desert.
The burning sand will become a pool,
the thirsty ground bubbling springs.
In the haunts where jackals once lay,
grass and reeds and papyrus will grow.

And a highway will be there;
it will be called the Way of Holiness;
it will be for those who walk on that Way.
The unclean will not journey on it;
wicked fools will not go about on it.
No lion will be there,
nor any ravenous beast;
they will not be found there.
But only the redeemed will walk there,
and those the LORD has rescued will return.
They will enter Zion with singing;
everlasting joy will crown their heads.
Gladness and joy will overtake them,
and sorrow and sighing will flee away." Isaiah 35


I have perfect faith in His word. He is my peace in troubled times, He is my Rock when I feel shakened, and He is my Fortress that protects me.


This morning I also did my devotional as I prepare to go to India and it is exactly what I needed! Satan has been trying to attack me and today's devotional was exactly on that... "When Jesus said "Let's go" and you obeyed you did not receive a free pass from all your trouble. In fact, satan is not to pleased with your decision. Let your faith arise as the time nears, knowing that "He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world."- Jack Hempfling


Praise the LORD for He knows me and knows what is ALWAYS best for me!

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Isaiah 30

“Woe to the obstinate children,”
declares the LORD,
“to those who carry out plans that are not mine,
forming an alliance, but not by my Spirit,
heaping sin upon sin;
who go down to Egypt
without consulting me;
who look for help to Pharaoh’s protection,
to Egypt’s shade for refuge.
But Pharaoh’s protection will be to your shame,
Egypt’s shade will bring you disgrace.
Though they have officials in Zoan
and their envoys have arrived in Hanes,
everyone will be put to shame
because of a people useless to them,
who bring neither help nor advantage,
but only shame and disgrace.”
A prophecy concerning the animals of the Negev:

Through a land of hardship and distress,
of lions and lionesses,
of adders and darting snakes,
the envoys carry their riches on donkeys’ backs,
their treasures on the humps of camels,
to that unprofitable nation,
to Egypt, whose help is utterly useless.
Therefore I call her
Rahab the Do-Nothing.

Go now, write it on a tablet for them,
inscribe it on a scroll,
that for the days to come
it may be an everlasting witness.
For these are rebellious people, deceitful children,
children unwilling to listen to the LORD’s instruction.
They say to the seers,
“See no more visions!”
and to the prophets,
“Give us no more visions of what is right!
Tell us pleasant things,
prophesy illusions.
Leave this way,
get off this path,
and stop confronting us
with the Holy One of Israel!”

Therefore this is what the Holy One of Israel says:

“Because you have rejected this message,
relied on oppression
and depended on deceit,
this sin will become for you
like a high wall, cracked and bulging,
that collapses suddenly, in an instant.
It will break in pieces like pottery,
shattered so mercilessly
that among its pieces not a fragment will be found
for taking coals from a hearth
or scooping water out of a cistern.”

This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:

“In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it.
You said, ‘No, we will flee on horses.’
Therefore you will flee!
You said, ‘We will ride off on swift horses.’
Therefore your pursuers will be swift!
A thousand will flee
at the threat of one;
at the threat of five
you will all flee away,
till you are left
like a flagstaff on a mountaintop,
like a banner on a hill.”

Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
therefore he will rise up to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him!

People of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you. Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Then you will desecrate your idols overlaid with silver and your images covered with gold; you will throw them away like a menstrual cloth and say to them, “Away with you!”

He will also send you rain for the seed you sow in the ground, and the food that comes from the land will be rich and plentiful. In that day your cattle will graze in broad meadows. The oxen and donkeys that work the soil will eat fodder and mash, spread out with fork and shovel. In the day of great slaughter, when the towers fall, streams of water will flow on every high mountain and every lofty hill. The moon will shine like the sun, and the sunlight will be seven times brighter, like the light of seven full days, when the LORD binds up the bruises of his people and heals the wounds he inflicted.

See, the Name of the LORD comes from afar,
with burning anger and dense clouds of smoke;
his lips are full of wrath,
and his tongue is a consuming fire.
His breath is like a rushing torrent,
rising up to the neck.
He shakes the nations in the sieve of destruction;
he places in the jaws of the peoples
a bit that leads them astray.
And you will sing
as on the night you celebrate a holy festival;
your hearts will rejoice
as when people playing pipes go up
to the mountain of the LORD,
to the Rock of Israel.
The LORD will cause people to hear his majestic voice
and will make them see his arm coming down
with raging anger and consuming fire,
with cloudburst, thunderstorm and hail.
The voice of the LORD will shatter Assyria;
with his rod he will strike them down.
Every stroke the LORD lays on them
with his punishing club
will be to the music of timbrels and harps,
as he fights them in battle with the blows of his arm.
Topheth has long been prepared;
it has been made ready for the king.
Its fire pit has been made deep and wide,
with an abundance of fire and wood;
the breath of the LORD,
like a stream of burning sulfur,
sets it ablaze.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

LOVE

The past few weeks our Pastor has been preaching on LOVE... "What's Love Got To Do With It?"... EVERYTHING!!! I have been consumed with this lately... because I am wretched and I don't deserve this unconditional, undying, unfathomable LOVE that my Father gives me every minute of every day. But, even though I don't deserve this LOVE... He is shows me grace and mercy and LOVES me no matter what.

The reason I don't think I LOVE well is because I judge... for some reason I feel like I have the right to judge and look at people the way God has all authority to do. That is so not right!

Another reason I don't LOVE well is because really... deep down... I believe I am better than the next guy/women.

One other reason I don't LOVE well is because I have blinders on...

So yes I do this... if we are truthful we all do it at some point and this breaks my heart. I pray the LORD changes my mind and thinking to how He thinks and sees... I want my heart to break for what makes His heart break. I want to LOVE without anything blocking my LOVE... I want whatever is blocking it to disappear... I want to have and share the LOVE of Christ.

I know I don't do a very good job... I know I hold back when people are in need, but I am trying. I am trying with everything in me to be more LOVING and think of others before myself, but it is so HARD! It is HARD to LOVE the unlovable... maybe it is HARD to LOVE the unlovable because I am unlovable. What do you think?

Maybe I am being to hard on myself, but this is how I feel... I don't LOVE well! This is a HUGE weakness of mine. Lord, consume me of your PERFECT LOVE.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Prayer for India

If you don't know I am preparing to go on a mission trip to India very soon. We were given these devotional books by the leader of our group called "A Daily Devotional Before You Go" and it probably more geared toward teens going on mission trips but it is amazing! A simply everyday devotional to prepare our hearts before we head to the ends of the earth.

Anyways... I am a little behind on my devotionals because of Thanksgiving and all the preparations with that, but I am back on track. :o) The prayers in this devotionals are so simple but so powerful. I walk away crying or my hearted touched after these prayers. I thought I would share a few of them...

"GO therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." Matthew 28:19

Lord, I make myself available to You for the carrying out of Your last wishes. I purpose with all my heart to "execute" Your will and testament, which says that I (Your child) and property You have entrusted to me shall be used to take the gospel to the nations. Prepare my heart for all that You will have for me to do, so that I can help advance the gospel as You commanded in Your Word. Amen.

"GO into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature... And they went out and preached everywhere, the Lord working with them and confirming the word through the accompanying signs. " Mark 16:15, 20

Father, give us sensitivity in our hearts and to Your voice, that we may discover the spiritual forces at work in the lives of those whom You are sending us. Thank You that the weapons of our warfare (Your truth, Your Holy Spirit, Your Name, and the armor of God) are not feeble but mighty through God for pulling down strongholds. Use us to minister to others by setting them free from the enemy's lies and oppression. Amen.

I couldn't have said it any better... I am so thankful for God's Word!