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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

It's all about Giraffes and Stickers

Today was the day we were waiting for... meeting Heidi's Pediatric GI doctor. It was a good day. Nothing really new, but it is a step closer to figuring this all out. It all started off as any first visit would... we went over everything from when this all began, all that has gone on in between the 2 months, and what is going on now. Dr. Jensen talked about the tests that we all ready have done in the ER and he said those all came back great/negative, he also talked about what he wants to do now... more blood work and A LOT of poop tests. We got the blood work done already and now it is up to Heidi to do the rest and I will finish it up (she poops and I scoop it out). Nice right? He is going to test for all he can this way (with the blood and poop) before going to plan 'B'- the more risky procedures. If for some reason the tests come back negative and she is still having the tummy pains we will have to consider plan 'B'- x-rays with the dye she swallows and scoping (possibly both ends). There are risks with both of these procedures, but I am not going to get into them right now. I will if it comes to that, but until then PRAY. Pray that God would heal this sweet child and that he would remove her pain. That is all I can think of right now... HEALING! He can... no doubt about that. Will you pray with me?

Here is a picture of Heidi in her cute giraffe robe. Children hospitals are a lot better then the regular hospitals. I believe if all hospitals were like kid hospitals that we would all get better faster or maybe just be happier when we are in the hospital. All the colors are just so positive and fun to look at.

The title of this post is "It's all about Giraffes and Stickers" because literally it was... cute giraffes on the robe and stickers after she gave blood. She was looking forward to a sticker or sucker. I wish we (as adults) would get motivated by something so little as a sucker or a sticker. Simple.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Prayer for Heidi

I haven't shared this on my blog, so some of you know but some of you do not. Heidi has been having stomach pains everyday through out the day, diarrhea (of and on), and a little vomiting since I was in Israel. It has been 2 months of this. We have been going to her Pediatrician since I got back from Israel and we have done all kinds of tests and they all come back negative. We have had 3 different tests done on her poop, blood tests, and ultrasound done and NOTHING!

A week ago Friday I took Heidi to the emergency room because Heidi's tummy was hurting her so bad and it was hurting for 3 hours. Of course when we got to the ER she was better. LOL! We continued... she actually still had stomach pains the whole time we were there. The blessing of that visit was we got the bloodwork and ultrasound all done at once. But, nothing really came out of the visit... which is good... nothing life threatening is going on with her, but no answers.

Here is a picture of Heidi and I laying in her bed watching a movie in the hospital.

Next is an appointment with a pediatric GI on Tuesday. I am hoping for answers or some kind of direction on what to do now. Even if we have to eliminate almost everything from her diet and gradually add things back in. I am all about trying to figure out what is causing my baby so much pain.

If you would like to pray for Heidi I would really appreciate it. You can pray for comfort and healing for her, pray for the doctors and their wisdom and knowledge that only God can provide, and pray for God's will and His perfect plan. Pray for Bob and I as we go through this... pray for our strength and unity during a stressful time of the unknown. Thanks so much, friends. Shalom to you all!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Hosanna! Hosanna!

I am learning new things about God's character and myself lately. As you know I am learning to forgive. Not just any old forgiveness... I am learning about the forgiveness the Lord calls us to forgive with. Make sense? But, as I have been forgiving others and asking for others to forgive me I have forgotten about or not known to forgive myself. I am good about beating myself up about a certain issue that has hurt others.

Last night our church had a worship service called Unhurried Worship. I love it when there is time to be with just God in the middle of the week! It is like a cool refreshment after being thirsty for the last 3 days (or longer). It was a blessing, because I was so THIRSTY!!!

My prayer for a while has been "Lord, Heal my heart and make it clean. Open up my eyes to the things unseen. Show me how to love like You have loved me. Break my heart for what breaks Yours...Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause as I walk from earth into eternity."

As I poured my heart out last night to the Lord I realized He has been doing this... He is answering my prayer even if I haven't know it. It really clicked after the forgiveness issue I have been having and the hurting others and the unforgiveness for myself. I have felt the sickness in my stomach because He is giving me a glimmer of how He feels. He has been breaking my heart for what breaks His. I believe He does this to me all the time and I think that is one of the reasons I cry all the time, because I feel the saddness and the brokeness.

One of the things I hope I never lose is this softened heart and the flowing of tears. It makes me better and makes me search for the Lord as I go through struggles. I praise my Lord and Savior for healing my blindness, for healing my deafness, for healing my lameness and giving me the ability to be able to walk in the Truth, and for waking me up from the dead. Praise be to Jesus!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Saddened by Myself

Is that even possible to be saddened by yourself? Well I am. My heart hurts because of myself.

My last post was on forgiveness and how I am learning to say sorry sincerely. Not that I didn't know how to say sorry sincerely before, but it feels different these days. God is doing good works inside me and I like it.

But, now I have hurt someone even closer to me (my dad). I am not going to get into the details or anything, because the details are not the point of the matter. But, it hurts down deep. I called him and we were having small talk and then I asked him if he was upset with me and I brought up a few reasons why I felt like he was upset with me. He told me that it wasn't so much upset, but that I put him a few awkward positions a few times because of something I did (that he didn't really approve of from the beginning). I apologized and told him that it was my intention to hurt him, but I thought it would have been okay (and I gave him one reason why I did what I did). He said he knew it wasn't intentional and that is why he never brought it up. But, for some reason my heart hurts and my stomach is turning upside down.

I feel sick. But, this feeling doesn't make sense because I felt like what I did ("that upset him") was from the Lord. I felt like I was doing what I felt like the Lord was leading me to do. I felt like what I did was promise I felt like the Lord promised me and it was! But, somehow it has hurt a few people. I guess I feel sick because I was asked to do something and I did it, but some how it has hurt others. How am I supposed to handle this feeling?

I just don't know. All I do know is that I was obedient in apologizing and was forgiven. Thank you Lord for teaching me forgiveness and for your Son who was sent to die for all of our sins and for loving me with Your undying love and covering me with forgiveness.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Learning about... Forgiveness

I am learning... learning about forgiveness. This is an everyday struggle. A struggle to be obedient, loving, and compassionate through every circumstance.

If you didn't know today is my birthday and it started off rough. I upset someone by not even knowing I upset her until she kind of ripped me a new one. Maybe she was tired or irritated by someone else, but in the end I was the one that hit her breaking point.

From the very first part of my day today (when I was getting ready this morning) I was reminded about boasting about myself (to myself) and self-seeking gratification. I started this day off thinking about all these things and struggling with and then I got my butt kind of chewed out and all I could think was "This is not all my fault!" "She should have called me!" "She should have let me know earlier so I didn't caller her so late!" "This is not my fault at all!". We didn't really talk this morning and you could tell there was something between us not right. I began to feel bad for my thoughts and was brought back to this morning and remembering thanking the Lord for my salvation, the breath in my lungs, and for His leading. I felt like crap! I was self-seeking AGAIN! This was not about me, but her. I needed to apologize.

Before, we left I apologized... I sincerely told her I was sorry and I didn't not mean to upset her. And you know what... she was very thankful and forgave me. WOW!!! He brought me down to remind me how He forgives me every single day and I could at least be understanding and forgiving towards a friend, a believer, and another creation from the Creator.

I love learning these tough lessons, because I know it brings me closer to Him, my Father in heaven and that is all I want to do until the day I die.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Tears of Joy

I had to share to good news. Do you remember the young lady I told you about that I have been talking with through Global Media Outreach? If not, here is the story. Well our conversations have been going very well. Here is an update on her and her journey...


My email account is giving me a bit of trouble, the entire computer is giving trouble i think its viruses. Hence the reason for the reply of an old message.

Happy Mothers Day to you. I know its one day after but still to me, everyday should be Mothers Day. As pertaining to my Family. I couldnt love them any more. I guess an do believe we all say things when we're angry. It amy not always be right, but we always regret it no matter what.

I love them no matter what, and they all know that. Things are great. My mom had a great day yesterday, my family came together as one and it made me smile with no ending. I would really like you to meet them one day. I havent told anyone about you as yet, well except God. He alone knows.

I keep you dear and close to my heart, as one of my own. I sure do hope you had a great day yesterday with lots of love.

Accepting Jesus into my life, has made proud, sincere, it has made me open my eyes, heart and mind to life. He has made me unstoppable, unafraid and true to him. There' nothing that comes my way, and i cant deal with it.

When i was with my previous boyfriend, i clung to him. And everytime we had arguments, i kept on running back to him. I felt like love was everything, and he was the one. But God opened my eyes, to his way. I read in the testament, that men and open before marriage not even suppose to touch each other. You know when you sit and think about all this, it makes sense.

When two people are getting married, you hear the pastor say ' you may now kiss your bride'. Thats sacred in God's eyes, and should be kept that way by both man and woman. The Lord God only wants what's best for his children. Which parent would look down on their child and lead them in the wrong direction. God' way is the best way.

As such, ive decided to keep his way and follow it for the rest of my glorious life, now and even when i meet him. The next relationship i enter, which i know is not anytime soon, this is how its going to be. Ive made some new friends, and lost some old ones because of my decision. But i do know that the road to righteosness may not be easy or the simplest way ahead.

Ive accepted him, and is heading towards glory, and im taking everyone i love with me, including you.

Have a great day my friend.

I am completely over joyed and feel overwhelmingly (is this even a word?) blessed! God has done miracles in this young ladies life. She has chosen Him and I am sure the Lord's heart is bursting with joy. Praise be to the glory of God forever and ever!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Greatest is Love

Lately I have diving into scripture... I started reading through Acts and then came upon the chapters written about Thessalonica, Corinth, and Ephesus, etc. and really felt I should stop and read the letters Paul wrote to those churches. Last night I finished 1 Corinthians and was blown away... I felt like I was being spoken to. I guess really that is what is supposed to happen when you read God's holy word... right? LOL!

But really... we will never understand the very words of God written in the Bible. It will always mean different things to me and you during different time in our lives. When I was going through 1 Corinthians I underlined verses that were meaningful to me now and how it could benefit others in my walk with the Lord.

If I am to be a follower of Christ I am to believe and follow the very word of God that I read... right? So why are so many of these not being followed through in my life. My life is now about living it out to bring glory and honor to Him, but then I fall short in so many areas. I let my flesh get in the way.

I have seen a change in myself though... just how I think about people and how my thoughts have changed. I try to have that love and compassion for others as Jesus had while so many were against Him and He continued to love them and pray for them. It is so hard to love and pray for others that are hard to love. I tend to put those people on the back burner. It is so hard, when you don't see any fruit or a glimmer of the Spirit, to continue to love on them. You know?

I think the big thing the Lord is working on in me is to be loving. Loving no matter what the circumstance. If I ever talk to you about love... now you know why. Love is one of the very top things we are asked to do.... ever since the beginning of the New Testament, so obviously it is important. I believe you can love like a child loves and love firmly too. I believe it all can be put together to come across in a loving manner. Does that make sense? And I believe also, we can only love this perfectly through Christ and with His help... never could be accomplished on our own.

I know most of you have read these verses before and so have I, but it means something a little bit different to me these days... "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is no rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. "And now those three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13