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Friday, December 10, 2010

To Whom It May Concern:

I am terribly hurt (and no it is not my husband). I am hurt by the lacking of the other side. The other side of a relationship I hold dear. I relationship that goes back to the good ol' days when we were carefree of anything important.

I put major effort into relationships that I feel very strong bonds with... it doesn't happen with every person I become close with. I pour into people I grow close to to the extent of exhaustion. I care for close relationships as if they were family. This may sound selfish... but when I don't receive the same effort or something that seems meaningful to me it HURTS and it hurts BAD! Bad to where I don't know what to do... and when I am let down so many times I just don't know where to go with it.

I have become very forgiving since I was born again. Forgiveness I can never explain. I will continue to forgive, but there will still be a wound that has to to heal and this time the wound is deep. Deep to where a sorry won't just mend it, but a lot of prayer and leaning on God is the only cure and way to heal.

While I sit in this quiet house and ponder my own thoughts... I have come to realize how hurt I have become. I need to really pray about this and the next words I chose because who knows how much longer I can go.

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