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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Today...

Lately when I have my quiet time with the Lord I come to chapters or books in the Bible I feel led to read. Today I was led to the Book of Haggai... and wow, what a slap in the face. Oh... how I felt like it was talking to me and the entire world around me.

"Consider your ways! You have sown much, and bring in little;
You eat, but do not have enough; You drink, but you are not filled with drink;
You clothe yourselves, but no one is warm; And he who earns wages,
Earns wages to put into a bag with holes." Haggai 1:5 and 6

First... I felt like I was being told "Wake up and look around you!". Have I done what God has been asking me to do?? Have I done what has been presisting me to do?? No.

I am given so much. More than I can put my mind around... and in return I can't do this one thing He is asking of me. One little thing that really isn't all that important... He just wants me to get rid of.

We all want and want and want and are never satisfied. If we are satisfied it is only for a millisecond until we come across something 'bigger and better'.

We all (even myself) just spend and spend. Sometimes we spend when we don't even have the money to cover it. We turn to our 'trusty' credit card. I am sick to death of it all!!! All of this earthly stuff gets in my way. I am at the end of my string. Maybe this is where God wants me right now. Maybe He has put me here to get me to be obedient.

I am sick and tired!!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Sewing Projects

Some of you know about my new hobby, sewing but for those of you who don't know... I have taken up sewing. A few years ago my husband, Bob got me a Kenmore sewing machine. I really enjoyed sewing and I sewed curtains for our house, but after that I had to put it up because I had no where to keep my machine. I never got my machine out again until a month ago. I decided I was going to start making my children cute clothes that people charge a butt load for. I told myself "If they can do it... I can do it!"

So, off I went to Hobby Lobby in mid-November and bought fabric to make both the girls skirts. I had an idea in my head on what I wanted to make. I really didn't want to use a pattern, but thought I should check them out. In the end I didn't get a pattern... I knew what I wanted to do. So, I went home and got excited about my new adventure. LOL! Here are the 2 skirts I made...

This is Heidi's skirt. I actually made hers second and learned what I should and shouldn't do from the mistakes I mad on Hailee. :o)




Here is Hailee's skirt. I did make a few mistakes but in the end I think it came out okay.


I took a little break after Thanksgiving, but the machine was still out and waiting for me. FINALLY I got to work again and made a tree skirt. I had a few issues but again it all worked out... EXCEPT my machine decided to act up at the very end. I was in the process of sewing the Velcro on the skirt (so that the cat doesn't go sliding around on the skirt and then we would have to bend down and put back like 20 times a day) and my thread kept breaking. :o) I finally gave in and took it into a sewing store... well they didn't fix Kenmore machines. So I was going to have to take it to another sewing store that fixes all machines. To make a long store short I bought a new sewing machine because the Kenmore machine I had wouldn't be worth getting fixed. So I got a beautiful Elna sewing machine and it is wonderful. Anyways... here is a picture of the tree skirt.

Now that I have my new Elna sewing machine I decided to start my first quilt. I have begun and it is looking great, but I am not going to post pictures until it is complete. I am so excited! I want to thank Mindy, Quilting Queen for all her help (so far).

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

"For with God nothing is impossible."

I can not believe how fast this month is gong by... 4 days until Christmas. It is so amazing! Last year I really felt my feelings and thoughts change toward the big day... Christmas (all for good) and this year they have changed even more. This day is so amazing to me and everything that leads up to the birth of Christ.

Last week I read the first two chapters of Luke and I read it totally different then before... I was at awe. Then this past weekend we (Bob and I) watched The Nativity Story. We have owned this movie for 2 years and this is the first time we sat down and watched it. I am such a visual learner that sitting and watching the movie made it come to life. Then I sat here again today reading the first chapter of Luke and again just taken away by God.

I am taken away by the conceiving of John and Jesus but most of all I am totally blown away by the Holy Spirit. I am blown away by Zacharias and when he was told his wife was going to be pregnant at her well advanced age and that the child would "also be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother's womb" (Luke 1:15). So, I sit here wondering what also means... while Zacharias was in the temple praying to the Lord and once the angel came upon him he then was filled with the Holy Spirit? WOW!! Instantly just like that... BAMMM!!

Then sweet innocent Mary was greeted by an angel and told "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son, and shall call His name Jesus."(Luke 1: 30,31) WOW! Can you imagine... being so young... engaged to a man... being a virgin... and being told this wonderful news that she has found favor is the eyes of God? I can't. I guess this is why I wasn't chosen :o). But most of all being comforted and given a look to the future a bit "He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David." (Luke 1:32). But then the Holy Spirit came upon her... just like that she was filled with everything she needed. Then she had total faith... "Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word." (Luke 1:38). Mary was brave!

Finally, Mary went off to see her relative Elizabeth, who has pregnant with John. When Mary walked into Elizabeth's home and Elizabeth heard Mary "her baby leaped inside her womb; and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit." (Luke 1:41) WOW!! Isn't that just consuming? Instantly filled with the Holy Spirit. I don't think that leap inside her womb was just any leap... it must have been something so unfathomable. Takes my breath away! The Elizabeth instantly spoke to Mary... "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb!" (Luke 1:42). All I can say is... GOD!

I guess I am so taken away by the beginning of this book because they were filled with the Holy Spirit before anyone else... before the death on the cross. They were probably filled to just be able to comprehend what was happening and what was going to happen. I don't know about you but it just makes my jaw drop at the thought.

This Christmas I will be thinking about the Holy Spirit and all Jesus has done for us. I will sit and think about how Mary must have felt when told the news and how honored and humbled she must have felt when holding that sweet baby boy. It gives me tears to even think about that our Savior was born on this earth. That He was God in human flesh. It blows my mind... I don't even have words.

I pray you all will be able to have a moment to sit and ponder on this... ponder on the all consuming Holy Spirit and that you would think about Jesus and how special a gift He was to us.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Beautiful Prophecy

This is John's father, Zacharias speaking after he was filled with the Holy Spirit...

"Blessed is the Lord God of Israel,
For He has visited and redeemed His people,

And has raised up a horn of salvation for us
In the house of His servant David,
As He spoke by the mouth of His holy prophets,

Who have been since the world began,
That we should be saved from our enemies
And from the hand of all who hates us,
To preform the mercy promised to our fathers

And to remember His holy covenant,
The oath which he swore to our father Abraham:

To grant us that we,
Being delivered from the hand of our enemies,
Might serve Him without fear,
In holiness and righteousness before Him all the days of our life.

"And you child, will be called the prophet of the Highest;
For you will go before the face of the Lord to prepare His ways,
To give knowledge of salvation to His people
By the remission of their sins,
Through the tender mercy of our God,
With which the dayspring from on high has visited us;
To give light to those who sit in darkness and the shadow of death,
To guide our feet into the way of peace." Luke 1:68-79

Such truth, faith, belief, trust, and prophecy in this passage. It just amazes me! I am going to write more tomorrow on more that amazes me, but for right now... I am pondering on these words. WOW! It just blows my mind!







Monday, December 13, 2010

T.M.I. or just total coolness??

Okay... I have been debating about this post but really feel like it is so cool. Sorry to all of you who will think this is to much information. LOL!

As I prepare for the Israel trip in April I have become very at ease with some things I was anxious about and a little uneasy. Such as... the food, sleeping arrangements, showers, and the list can go on. I know all of this doesn't matter and I will be taken care of, but one thing I continue to ponder on is... well.... my once a month 'friend', my period. I DO NOT want to be on my period while traipsing around Israel. The last thing I want to worry about is my once a month 'friend'. God knows this has been one of my concerns because 1. I have brought it before Him and 2. I have been thinking about this and going on and on about it. I had total plans to talk to my O.B. about this and ask her to help me with my 'problem'.

So here is the coolness... My 'friend' comes to visit at the beginning of every month (yes right at the time I would be in the middle of the wilderness) and I knew this was going to be a problem. But... for some reason my 'friend' wasn't visiting her normal time... of course my first thought was.... "I AM NOT PREGNANT!!!". That would just be ridiculous because why would God have me be with child if His plan was for my to go to Israel in April. No way!!! I knew I was not pregnant but still had that thought race through my head. So I waited... if I was pregnant (which I knew I wasn't) I would just wait and if I was not pregnant (which I knew I was) I knew God had a reason for this. I began to ponder what was going on in my body... since I WAS NOT pregnant I began to wonder if my POS (polycycstic ovary syndrome) was back... then I thought "NO WAY!". I have lost 30 lbs. that is a good thing and POS should not be in the picture. I then had crossed pregnancy and POS off my list. I knew this was God... I knew he was answering a prayer. He is beginning to prepare my body for this adventure. My 'friend' came to visit on the 11th instead of the 6th... yes, totally the coolness of God. I knew it was Him... He is getting me ready for the trip of my life. To prepare me for what He has in my path int he future. God is so good!

Friday, December 10, 2010

To Whom It May Concern:

I am terribly hurt (and no it is not my husband). I am hurt by the lacking of the other side. The other side of a relationship I hold dear. I relationship that goes back to the good ol' days when we were carefree of anything important.

I put major effort into relationships that I feel very strong bonds with... it doesn't happen with every person I become close with. I pour into people I grow close to to the extent of exhaustion. I care for close relationships as if they were family. This may sound selfish... but when I don't receive the same effort or something that seems meaningful to me it HURTS and it hurts BAD! Bad to where I don't know what to do... and when I am let down so many times I just don't know where to go with it.

I have become very forgiving since I was born again. Forgiveness I can never explain. I will continue to forgive, but there will still be a wound that has to to heal and this time the wound is deep. Deep to where a sorry won't just mend it, but a lot of prayer and leaning on God is the only cure and way to heal.

While I sit in this quiet house and ponder my own thoughts... I have come to realize how hurt I have become. I need to really pray about this and the next words I chose because who knows how much longer I can go.

Me venting...

This is just me venting... I have no one to talk to about it and the one I do want/need to talk to has gone to bed.

I am SICK TO DEATH of all the hours Bob works!! I am SICK TO DEATH of feeling like a single mom and doing most everything!

I am very grateful for his job... don't get me wrong. He works for a great company that cares for him and he gets paid well.

It is the hours... and it seems like Bob feels like he owes this job every possible hour. Almost to where his family is put on the back burner.

You may be thinking... "Why don't you talk to Bob about this?" And I have. I can only talk so much.... he is the one that has to put it in action.

Bob is so tired and has to get up so early 6 days a week. He doesn't get the rest he needs and then I get the short end of the stick. After the kids go to bed and he gets situated... he plops on the couch and is out instantly... snoozing away. There is absolutely no us time unless we go out on a date.

I am just sick of it!!! We got home from our ABF Christmas party tonight, got the kids in bed, and off to bed Bob goes. He expects me to go to be too, but I need to wind down before sleeping. I am just SICK AND TIRED!!!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Only a Hippopotamus will do...

I heard this song yesterday on the radio and instantly fell in love with it. As we were listen to this song in the car I asked Hailee if she wanted a Hippopotamus for Christmas and she said "We already have that game." LOL! She was talking about Hungry Hungry Hippo. LOL! That made me laugh and I thought I would share. :o) Here are the words to "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas."

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
Don't want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy
I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won't have to use our dirty chimney flue
Just bring him through the front door,
that's the easy thing to do

I can see me now on Christmas morning,
creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise
when I open up my eyes
to see a hippo hero standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses
I only like hippopotamuses
And hippopotamuses like me too

(Short Music Interlude)

Mom says the hippo would eat me up, but then
Teacher says a hippo is a vegeterian

(Short Music Interlude)

There's lots of room for him in our two-car garage
I'd feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage

I can see me now on Christmas morning,
creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise
when I open up my eyes
to see a hippo hero standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles or rhinoceroseses
I only like hippopotamuseses
And hippopotamuses like me too!

The Just Live by Faith

Then the Lord answered me (Habakkuk) and said:
"Write the vision
And make it plain on tablets,
That he may run who reads it.
For the vision is yet for an appointed time;
But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.
Thought it tarries (meaning staying longer than intended), wait for it;
Because it will surely come,
It will not tarry.
Behold the proud,
His soul is not upright in him;
But the just shall live by his faith."

Habakkuk 2:2-4

As I sit and ponder this book of Habakkuk it makes me think about today's world. It is almost like Habakkuk is talking about this world now. But I know God is here and I know He is involved in every detail of today's world. We may not understand his reasoning, but this is when faith comes in and having total faith that He is in control. Habakkuk didn't know about Jesus and all that was going to happen with Him, but God sure did give him a little heads up. I wonder after hearing the assurance from God if it made him feel better and have more faith in Him?

I have to be honest.. I don't have the faith I wish I had. I can't quite put my finger on it, but things I desire and want to change I haven't fallen down on my knees before Him and asked for His grace and mercy. I haven't asked for Him to move in a certain situation to make it all about Him. I know that isn't bringing Him glory by 'keeping it to myself'... I need to just confess and bring it all to Him, but for some reason other things seem to always come first. Why do I do this?

I have grown in my faith and I know He can save, heal, and change any circumstance... I just need to give it up and give it to Him. I know He wants it all for His glory, so I need to just give it up. Be done with it! He has great things waiting for me and my family... now is the time to let Him move.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

He already knows.

Lately, I have been focused more on God. I feel like my heart has been more in line with His than ever before (this is not saying much because I still have things I am wrestling with), but my thoughts are more around Him. I have been repenting more on things I would have never thought I needed to repent before. Things that I thought were just normal... things that everyone struggles with. If everyone struggles with it then it is not a sin I need to worry about? Right? So very wrong.

I have been praying that God be glorified through me actions, words, and attitude. That His thoughts would be my thoughts, His hands be my hands, His feet be my feet, His words be my words. I have these desires to be totally transformed forever and ever. I have desires I don't even know are desires, but He already knows. I sit hear in my own tears... not even knowing what these tears mean... desperately wanting Him to take my life and let it be all for Him and His glory. But, somehow this world creeps in and I let it ruin the desires of my heart. I don't live for this world... I live for bringing glory to my Father, the Most High.

So many things I am wrestling with and so many things I don't even know what to do with. But, I do know... that He already knows and I have faith in Him and His path/adventure He will lead me on.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Stoked!!!

Last night I was invited to go have dinner with an Israel guide. This guide has lead and taught Pastor Brian Haynes, who will be leading my Israel trip. Yes, my Israel trip... I have total faith that God will provide and have total peace that this is His will. So, it is my Israel trip. LOL! Everything I have been told about this experience is everything I have been expecting. I was told I will come home yearning to study and read God's word. There won't be any... "Oh... I have to read God's word." There will be excitement and it will come alive. I want to be renewed... I want to have new-life in my new-life. I just cannot wait to get there...

I am scared though... that I won't be able to put it into words... that so many will want to hear about my experience that I just won't know how to explain it all. I am planning to journal on my adventure and maybe that will help with me explaining what my 'new' eyes have seen. I still pray God be glorified through it all whatever the outcome may be... but He is providing funds for my trip to the most Holyland and this I am very grateful for.

Another fear I have is that I will want to go again and again and again... I know I will want more. I guess I can't be greedy... and if it is God's will He will make it happen. I know He has mighty plans for my life and I feel this trip will have a lot to do with His wonderful plan. He is so mighty, powerful, loving, merciful, and total light. He is my light and I can not do life without Him.