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Monday, October 25, 2010

Struggles...

I struggle with the stupidest stuff! I was reading the Book of Deuteronomy today and reading about how the Israelites continued to question God after all he had done for them and all He has for them still. He wanted them to go to the land He had promised their forefathers too. The land flowing with milk and honey, but they were scared. Scared of who and what was down there.

So I sit and ponder... If I was in that day and age and was about to go into the promise land... would I be questioning God and His promises? I don't know... I am the type of person if you tell me something I am going to believe you and trust what you are telling me is the truth and that you are going to carry it out. I try to be like this. You should know if I tell you something... I am going to do my best to fulfill what I promised. So, yes I think I would be a believer and follow God on His promises. I guess you could call me Caleb. He seemed to be the only one ready to jump into whatever God had. If not there would be consequences.

So why in this day and age do I struggle with obedience. I know this is God telling me to get rid of my cable (one of my struggles). I really do not need it. I don't watch half the channels that we do have... I guess it is the fear of missing the channels we do watch. I know it sounds pretty pathetic. God has been working with me on this for a while and I continue to be disobedient and try to turn it around and make it all about me. Why?

This just makes me sick. Maybe it is making me sick because I have prayed that God would disgust me with sin. I am pretty disgusted with myself. If you could pray for God to continue to peak away at me until I give into His holiness.

1 comment:

Misty said...

I had that same thing a couple years ago. I felt called to do it, then didn't for 8-10 months. I really didn't hear from God those months I was being disobedient. Delayed obedience = disobedience (current bible study). I pray you continue to follow God in all His callings on your life!!