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Sunday, August 22, 2010

First Day of School??

I am having a hard time tonight. I am on Facebook and reading everyone's status posts about their kids first day of school tomorrow. I can't help but think about how Hailee is missing out. I am missing out. Now I am second guessing everything I have felt convicted about. I know this is what the Lord wants me to do but, I have been preparing myself for a very long time for the first day of school. I know after tomorrow (or the first week) it will all fade away and not be such a big deal anymore. I guess I just feel like I am taking something away from Hailee... that experience of the first day of school feeling. The feeling of the nervous, excitement, and all the new people she would meet and if they will like her feeling. WHAT I AM DOING?

Am I doing the right thing? Lord, give me a sign I am doing the right thing. Take this feeling away that I am doing something wrong. I heard you speak to me that this was Your plan so, why am I feeling sad that I am taking something away from Hailee. I am remembering Your beautiful plan is all that matters. This is where I want to be. I want to be doing what You want me to do and that is it! I have seen your marvelous works through our homeschooling journey. I need to keep my head above the clouds and look toward the sun. You and Your plan for my life is all that matters.

4 comments:

jrodges said...

Hi :)
This is a family member and friend of Rosemond's. Sometimes I like to look at some of the blogs listed on Ro's page. I came across your posting. I think your little girl will look back and say "wow, my mom cared so much about me that she was willing to take the time to teach me". There are so many wonderful trips,activities and family moments that you can have when you teach at home that may be missed if she was attending a school. I don't think she is going to miss out on anything especially since I am sure she has friends to socialize with at church ( I can guess from reading your blog) :). There are also wonderful home school groups :)!!! I am the one who feels guilty sometimes because I teach music in a school and I am not there to teach my own child.. I think as mom's we always wonder are we doing the right thing. You are to be commended, those doubts are probably not from the Lord :)!

Aims said...

Sweet friend! I cannot agree with jrodges more. Those doubts are more than likely not from the Lord. He has called you to a task that is not easy and certainly breaks from what we consider the "norm". But we should all be prepared to walk in the "abnormal" that is God's "norm". I am so incredibly proud of you for taking this leap of faith. It is inspiring!!

I do understand your doubts, though. I think I'd be feeling the same exact way if I were in your shoes. Anytime we take a leap of faith, we will be tempted at times to second guess what the Lord has instructed us to do. I'm praying for your peace!! Love ya, girl!!

Sarah Harrington said...

I totally felt that way last year when Tanner was supposed to start kindergarten. It would have been a huge milestone for me, with BOTH of my kids being in school. And it was all because of that darn Facebook! ha ha. I felt sooo left out.

Obviously these doubts are from the enemy, not from God. You know it's what He's called you to do!

Anyway, you know what we did that made me feel better? Michael, the boys and I went out to breakfast at Cracker Barrel and called it our "Happy Not Back to School Day Breakfast." It was so fun, and I was reminded of one of the reasons I homeschool: to spend more time with my awesome kids! We also took the day off of school that day.

So now that breakfast is an annual tradition. We went this morning and had a great time. =)

So I really understand how you feel, and these feelings will pass!

Elinette said...

I am praying for you. I think is normal to feel that way. It's hard not to compare or feel your kids is missing out.

I wouldn't second guess the choice we made based on emotions.

There will be many other things in life our kids will miss out on and not just regarding schooling choices.

We don't buy our kids gifts for christmas. Just a family choice we've made. We feel very strongly about it. I second guess myself every year during Christmas time.