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Sunday, May 2, 2010

Could it be?

I have been debating, waiting, and holding back to even write about this because I don't know how the other party feels, but I feel I need share...

My family (meaning me, Bob, and both kids) and my mom's family (her, her husband, and possibly her step-daughter) were starting to plan a trip to Tortola, B.V.I. (British Virgin Islands) for the summer of 2011. To make a long story short we (as my mom, step-dad and I) lived on this island for about a year, so we wanted to go back and spend a week on the beach and re-visit people and fun locations. I was totally excited, but Bob wasn't so much... but I was thinking that it was just him being poopy pants.

Well, the last few weeks I have been having the strange thoughts like maybe... we shouldn't go and can we do this financially. I would then think I was crazy and all these thoughts were ridiculous! They would come and go, but never thought much about them except I was crazy :o). Maybe one time I thought... is this God? But blew it off.

Friday night our ABF (Adult Bible Fellowship) class had date night planned (more like double dates). Our church gets childcare all set up and we pay $2 per child... I know great huh? Anywho... we were in the group with a couple we already new and liked and couldn't wait to get to know a little better (lets call them the... Cullens (Bob came up with this name). The Cullens are pretty quiet when it comes to personal issues. That night they shared what was going on with their business and were hoping for a certain way for it to go. Then I said "God's plan is always best... no matter the struggle." and they both said... "Yes... they were putting their faith in Him and trusted." Then something was said I totally was not expecting... Ms. Cullen said "He has been providing for us since way before the business struggles.". She told me before the business was having problems that God provided so much for them that they were able to pay their house off and both of their vehicles. I was totally blown away by this! The Cullens' are a young couple and I didn't think paying your house off was even something that could happen at such a young age. Back on topic... we went to finish up our night and then picked up the kids.

Once we got home I was thinking... I was thinking about how the Cullens are so private and how they shared something so personal with us. Then I remembered all the feeling I was having and how nice it would be just to pay off the van. Then it hit me... a sudden flood of peace. The Holy Spirit filled me with the knowledge and peace I needed to put everything together. I then knew what we were going to have to do. I talked to Bob about all of this and how the Holy Spirit spoke to me and how the Cullens' shared all that personal stuff with us. I told him this was not a coincident... it was God! He was totally fine with what we were going to have to do. I just didn't want to have to tell my mom because she was so looking forward to this trip. I was dreading it! Bob told me something though... he said "Tortola isn't going anywhere.... we can go in a couple of years." and for some reason that made sense. I emailed my mom and told her pretty much everything I have written here. I pray and am having faith that she will understand. I pray she will understand we are trying to be obedient to the Holy Spirit.

I love when the Holy Spirit fills me. I love that feeling when I obey and have a total rush of peace. Sometimes I wonder why I fight it so much when I know the outcome and the feeling of obedience. I don't want my mom to be upset with us, but if she is... this feeling of complete peace is totally worth it. Love you Mom!

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