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Sunday, December 20, 2009

Reflecting back on 2009

As I look back at 2009... it really was a good year. There was the tough times, but also huge blessings. I feel so blessed that both kids are healthy and have been healthy through this flu season (knock on wood). There have been a few colds, but that is it (knock on wood). Hailee has been growing in school wonderfully and (hopefully) learning about the Lord from our Faith Talks and Advent Calendar talks. Heidi started walking at 15 months and has been like the Energize bunny ever since. She is such a joy to be around. I pray that both children will come to know the Lord and that they would bring Him glory. Bob has not been sick either this year (knock on wood). He has been a busy little bee at work. Most of the time working between 50-60 hours a week. But that is good... right? I have been healthy as well. I continue to try my best to Seek the Lord and bring Him glory. It is a constant battle to stay in the light and not fall into darkness.

Today in our ABF (sunday school) class we were reflecting on 2009 and talking about our darkness and light of this year. Obviously our darkness was finding out I had cancer. It was such a shock and then sitting around and waiting to find out what was next for me was the worst. That was when I was feeling the pressure of depression and having to learn to trust in God. I ended up letting go and giving it to God and whatever my journey was going to be I was going to glorify God through it all. The cancer was mine and Bob's darkness of the year.

But, do you want to know what my light was??? My light was my darkness. If I didn't walk through that darkness I would have never found my light. I grew closer to my Father during that darkness. He was my light! My light is now to share my journey and how God was Wonderful, my Counselor, my Mighty God, my Everlasting Father, and my Price of Peace.

I am farther in my walk because of what I went through. Seeing God work through everything. Seeing Him answer prayers. Seeing Him provide for us. Seeing Him comfort us. Seeing Him put us good hands. He was all around. He was in every detail.

I grew so close to the Lord while going through this storm. I sometimes hoped I would still have cancer just so I could continue to be that close to Him. But, I was told by a good friend that I can continue to be close to Him without cancer. I knew that, but sometimes you have to be told things for it to sink in. I am close to the Lord, but in a different way... different way meaning I am not going through it anymore, but I have gone through it and I have gone through it with my all Mighty God by my side.

"The people who have walked in darkness
Have seen a great light;
Those who dwelt in the land of the shadow of death,
Upon them a light was shined.

You have multiplied the nation
And increased its joy;
They rejoice before You
According to the joy of harvest,
As men rejoice when they divide the spoil.

For You have broken the yoke of his buden
And the staff of his shoulder,
The rod of is oppressor,
As in the day of Midian.
For every warrior's sandal from the noisy battle,
And the garments rolled in blood,
Will be used for burning and fuel of fire.

For unto us a Child is born,
Unto us a Son is given;
And the government will be upon His shoulder.
And His name will be called
Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God.
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

I have the Prince of Peace... if my cancer comes back I know it will be okay. I have the peace that this is all in control of my Mighty God. He will continue to put people in my life to Counsel me His word and remind me where to go. He is my Everlasting Father and will never leave me or forsake me because I am His and He is mine. He is WONDERFUL!

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