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Thursday, December 31, 2009

Dear New Year,

I know you are here every year.
I know you have new stuff in store for every single one of us.
I know it can be good and/or bad.

But, I do know God is with me every New Year.
Every day, every hour of every minute... even through every second.
I know I can trust Him.
I know He will never give me anything I cannot handle.

So, New Year I am waiting.
I am waiting with open arms.
Ready to grab you and hold on tight.

Bring It!
Some want a fresh new start.
I just want to sit back and watch.
Watch my kids grow and grow in their/my faith.

Here is my prayer:
In this New Year may the Lord bless you and keep you,
In this New Year may His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
In this New Year may the Lord lift up His coutenance to you,
And give you peace.

Happy New Year to you!!!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Merry Christmas

We had a great Christmas! I love watching the girls enjoy their gifts and all the fun they are having with Bob while he is off.

Hailee got a American Girl doll and clothes for the doll, Princess Belle dress, Princess barbies, and a whole bunch of other stuff. Heidi got a stuffed Ernie, a Little People Farm, a softy, a cool ice cream car, and a whole bunch of other stuff. Bob got a home beer making machine thingy, a knife, poker table top and poker chips. I got a new chi hair dryer (mine was smoking and sparking), Party lite stuff, a few DVD's, and a few other things. Bob and I decided this year instead of buying eachother gifts we were going to buy a new computer. A few days before Christmas we went to BestBuy and got a great deal on a great computer. We also got a gerat deal on a new printer and I got Photoshop Elements 8.

This was a great Christmas! Not because of all the great wonderful gifts but because we were all together and happy and healthy. It is so much more fun when your children get why we are celebrating this wonderful day. Hailee is starting to get it and I can't wait to see Heidi get it :o).

It is all about Jesus and our salvation. I thank God for loving us so very much that we will never understand and for giving us a Book to live by and grow by. Without that we would be pretty lost.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009


I have really felt the meaning of this season this year. Not that I didn't know last year or the year before etc. or know how important Christmas is. I did, but for some reason... well not just any reason... I know why I am so very thankful and why it is hitting me so hard this year. I feel like I am healthy. I feel like I have gone through a storm and I learned that God was literally by my side every single step... even when I was questioning Him and the ordeal. He was there. I learned he really does love me UNCONDITIONALLY. I have never been in a position where I had to lean totally on God and I never knew what it felt like to do so or how awesome it feels to totally be changed. I am and have been blessed!

I am also feeling the season differently because my kids are healthy. I hear on TV about all these kids that have to ordeal the fight with cancer. They are all so strong. It is like their parents feel the fight of cancer more. I am in tears everytime I see any of this on TV. It breaks my heart. I feel so luck and blessed for 2 healthy little girls. Hailee is also starting to get the reason for the season. She is asking questions and listening very well. I can't wait for the day when Hailee and Heidi except Jesus into their heart.

I also am feeling the season harder this year because I am able to stay home with Hailee and Heidi. It is such a blessing! Bob works so hard and it is all so we can be together and so I can stay home. Also, Bob loves us so much. I think I have said this before, but as soon as Bob gets home the girls are instantly attracted to him. It is like he is a magnet and they are instantly drawn to him. He plays with them until they go to bed and then he tries to get things ready for the next day and relax. I don't think I could ask anymore from him.

I feel so blessed with my life. I couldn't ask for anything more. I feel God continues to bless me everyday. I am so thankful. Merry Christmas!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Reflecting back on 2009

As I look back at 2009... it really was a good year. There was the tough times, but also huge blessings. I feel so blessed that both kids are healthy and have been healthy through this flu season (knock on wood). There have been a few colds, but that is it (knock on wood). Hailee has been growing in school wonderfully and (hopefully) learning about the Lord from our Faith Talks and Advent Calendar talks. Heidi started walking at 15 months and has been like the Energize bunny ever since. She is such a joy to be around. I pray that both children will come to know the Lord and that they would bring Him glory. Bob has not been sick either this year (knock on wood). He has been a busy little bee at work. Most of the time working between 50-60 hours a week. But that is good... right? I have been healthy as well. I continue to try my best to Seek the Lord and bring Him glory. It is a constant battle to stay in the light and not fall into darkness.

Today in our ABF (sunday school) class we were reflecting on 2009 and talking about our darkness and light of this year. Obviously our darkness was finding out I had cancer. It was such a shock and then sitting around and waiting to find out what was next for me was the worst. That was when I was feeling the pressure of depression and having to learn to trust in God. I ended up letting go and giving it to God and whatever my journey was going to be I was going to glorify God through it all. The cancer was mine and Bob's darkness of the year.

But, do you want to know what my light was??? My light was my darkness. If I didn't walk through that darkness I would have never found my light. I grew closer to my Father during that darkness. He was my light! My light is now to share my journey and how God was Wonderful, my Counselor, my Mighty God, my Everlasting Father, and my Price of Peace.

I am farther in my walk because of what I went through. Seeing God work through everything. Seeing Him answer prayers. Seeing Him provide for us. Seeing Him comfort us. Seeing Him put us good hands. He was all around. He was in every detail.

I grew so close to the Lord while going through this storm. I sometimes hoped I would still have cancer just so I could continue to be that close to Him. But, I was told by a good friend that I can continue to be close to Him without cancer. I knew that, but sometimes you have to be told things for it to sink in. I am close to the Lord, but in a different way... different way meaning I am not going through it anymore, but I have gone through it and I have gone through it with my all Mighty God by my side.

"The people who have walked in darkness
Have seen a great light;
Those who dwelt in the land of the shadow of death,
Upon them a light was shined.

You have multiplied the nation
And increased its joy;
They rejoice before You
According to the joy of harvest,
As men rejoice when they divide the spoil.

For You have broken the yoke of his buden
And the staff of his shoulder,
The rod of is oppressor,
As in the day of Midian.
For every warrior's sandal from the noisy battle,
And the garments rolled in blood,
Will be used for burning and fuel of fire.

For unto us a Child is born,
Unto us a Son is given;
And the government will be upon His shoulder.
And His name will be called
Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God.
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

I have the Prince of Peace... if my cancer comes back I know it will be okay. I have the peace that this is all in control of my Mighty God. He will continue to put people in my life to Counsel me His word and remind me where to go. He is my Everlasting Father and will never leave me or forsake me because I am His and He is mine. He is WONDERFUL!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The returned blessings...

Okay... so this evening I was in the kitchen doin' my thing and I hear a knock at the door... I go and guess who it was... our neighbors to our right. We have said hi to them before and waved but no one has ever introduced one another. They were at our door with a gift. I told them they didn't have to do this, but she said she knew but they wanted to and it was a belated welcome to the neighborhood gift. I thought that was really nice. They didn't have to do anything, but made a little extra effort and made the move to come over.

Even though it has taken me some time to do God's will... it feels so good. For some odd reason I feel kind of a pull towards these neighbors. I felt this before they said thank you for the cinnamon rolls... before they came over baring gifts. I keep thinking maybe I should ask them how they are doing and if they need any kind of help around or outside the house for our ABF class to possibly help them for Caring for Katy, but I don't want to step on any toes or make them uncomfortable. I guess I should be praying about this. If you could join with me in prayer for God to give me strength and the right words to speak to them with... Pray that I would have a soft heart to hear the Lord and to hear His will for this situation.

Thanks friends!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The Letter

Just a little bit ago I wrote Bob's boss a letter. He was the one that offered to pay our $5000 deductible when I got diagnosed with cancer. I really wanted to do this, but didn't want to do it because I would never be able express how much it meant to Bob and I (well really me).

I hate those love hate things, but I love them.

While I was writing the letter I started to cry. It meant and still means so much that someone would just selflessly give money when someone needed it. How Amazing!

I know... it was all God. God totally put us in the right hands through the whole process. I had someone to talk to about all of it and she totally understand what I was going through and all the feelings I was feeling didn't seem so crazy. She was a blessing! Then we had Bob's owner offer the money. He was a blessing! Then the lady's in the Human resource office at Bob's work worked their little butt's off to help us in any way they could, They ended up getting our deductible changed in the middle of the year to $1500. Those 2 woman were blessings! Then all the many people that found out about my cancer and how they were all praying for me. People I didn't even know were praying for me. Every single one of you were and are blessings to me! Thank you!

Tomorrow I have my first dermatologist appointment since the end of August (when I was MD Anderson last). If you read this please pray for the doctor. I won't be seeing the same dermatologists that found my melanoma because she is on maternity leave. I pray this doctor will be on her toes and will understand the importance of this. I am sure she will because this is her job. Thanks for listening...

Saturday, December 12, 2009

The Other Neighbors...


Yesterday I made more cinnamon rolls for our neighbors to our left and the neighbors across the street to our left. It was Friday evening when I took them over to the neighbors. The people to our left were not home... I expected this as it is Friday evening at dinner time and that they might have been out to eat. I then went over to the neighbors across the streets and give the man of the house the cinnamon rolls. I have never talked to him. We have talked to his older son and he is really nice. The man that opened the door is really quiet, but he has such a warm smile. Yes, he to was surprised that I was bringing him over something to enjoy ( this just cracks me up). I did try to take the cinnamon rolls over to our neighbors again, but they were still not home. Oh well... I would try again tomorrow (I was determined to give them these cinnamon rolls).

This morning I had a whole bunch of No Bake Cookies to make for Hailee and Heidi's Sunday school teachers. I feel like they dedicate themselves every Sunday to help our children to learn more about the Lord and they also pour out so much love on them. So I was "baking" away and had the nagging and pushing feeling again about taking over the cinnamon rolls. Then I started the cleaning up process of my mess and was being told... GO and GIVE the cinnamon rolls to your neighbors. I keep saying back I will after I clean this mess up... then I was told the mess will be there when you get back. I was like OKAY! I went and got dressed... and told Hailee I would be right back and off I went. I rang the doorbell and he OPENED THE DOOR! Yes... they were home! I told him (his name is Ron) that I lived next door and I wanted to bring these cinnamon rolls I made over and Merry Christmas. He seemed surprised (he didn't even open the screen door until i had to hand him to rolls). I told him my name was Sterling and we shuck (is that spelled right? I don't think it is) hands. We had a little small talk and he was going to be heading to the Katy game in a bit and hoping they would win so they can go to State next week. And that was it...

I get it now... if I didn't go over when I did I would have missed them again because they would have been at the game. Isn't so wonderful and crazy how God works? And isn't this Holy Spirit we have in us so magical?

Guess what the Lord is laying on my heart now... a BBQ for our street. LOL!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Holy Spirit

First I want to say I am so sorry I have been away so long... there are no excuses... just that I am lazy and I have put other things before my blog. I am sorry sweet blog... I will never leglect you again (fingers crossed). I have been trying to put pictures up, but for some reason it hasn't been working. I have pictures of Hailee's birthday still to post and pictures of our snow day we had last week :o). Good Times! So... pictures are going to be coming soon.

Back to the Holy Spirit... since last year around this holiday season I have had this tug and pull to go and take something yummy to my neighbors. We really don't know our neighdors. The truth be told a lot of them are old and don't want to have anything to do with anyone they live by. We know 2 of our neighbors across the street and they are really nice, but the 2 neighbors beside us aren't so friendly. So... finally I gave into the Holy Spirit... I made these delicious cinnamon rolls from The Pioneer Woman (and the recipe makes a lot) and I took them to the neighbors straight across from our house, the neighbor to the right of their house, the neighbor to the right of our house, and the neighbor to the right of their house. I didn't take them to the neighbor to our left. Do you want to know why? Because... they NEVER look at us, they NEVER smile at us, they NEVER say anything to us (not even hi), and our electricity went off the other night and they just got home and we were outside (wondering what was going on) and Bob said 2 things to the lady that lives there and she TOTALLY ignored him. After that I decided I was going to take them to everyone else but them.

But... I don't feel good about that decision... I have the constant tugging and pulling feeling still... I thought once I was done doing the giving of the cinnamon rolls I would be done, but I guess not. I will be making more cinnamon rolls tomorrow and going over there Saturday (when I know they will be home). If you read this can you please pray for me and the people that will be recieving to cinnamon rolls. You pray whatever your little heart desires... I just need prayer :o).

Oh really quick... let me tell you about the reaction we did get from everyone that did recieve the cinnamon rolls. So... the open the door and give me this look like... Oh No, what is she selling?... LOL! As soon as they opened the door I said I made these cinnamon rolls and wanted to bring them over to y'all and wish you a Merry Christmas. They all seemed very happy and surprised that anyone would bring them something yummy and do it for nothing. It was great and I was blessed by their reaction.