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Thursday, April 30, 2009

Change in my life...

I have really noticed lately how often I am on the computer and how much it consumes my life. I was thinking about this yesterday and how much I never get done because of the computer. I don't do my quiet time as often because I am on the computer. I think... oh I will get on check one thing and next thing I know I have been on here for like an hour and then... HELLO Heidi is up. It is so irritating!

I decided yesterday I was only going to get on it a couple of times a day. I don't need to check my email constantly, I don't need to check blogs all day, I don't need to be on Facebook all day, etc. There is no reason. I pretty much see everyone I talk to on the computer at least 2 to 3 times a week. I told myself it might be hard the first few days, but I would get use to it and it would be better :o).

I am not saying I am totally banning myself from the compupter, but just not getting on as often. The only reason I am on the computer right now is because I put Heidi in bed at 1:00 p.m., I cleaned bottles, wrote a check and put it in the mail, made myself a bowl and cereal, and by then it was 1:30 p.m. (30 minutes until I have to go get Hailee from school). So, I thought I would sit down eat my cereal and check things out on the computer.

Well I better go. Heidi never went to sleep and I have to get things together before we go get Hailee. We have to run to Wal-Mart and get some hand sanitizer for Bob at work so, he doesn't get the Swine Flu... LOL! Not really a joke because one of Bob's co-worker's was in Mexico last week. Great huh? Bob told me today that the coworker is getting sick. GREAT! I guess we will just wait and see.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

YAY for God!

Is that a weird title? It is just so AWESOME that millions of people have been praying for baby Stellan and the Lord heard. Stellan has been discharged for the Boston Children's Hosptial and on his way home. How awesome is that? If you haven't checked out Mckmama's blog you should... Stellan went from the low of all lows and now he is so happy and peaceful to be out of the hospital and sleeping on a real bed in peace and quiet. God is so Great!

Just praying for a complete stranger and seeing how awesome prayer is has really changed my prayer life and how I view it. God is listening and heard our prayers for baby Stellan. Just imagine what He is hearing now and how much more He wants to hear. God can still preform miracles! He is just waiting to here from you!

I love the Lord!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Heaven is real

I have been reading 90 Minutes in Heaven by Don Piper. It is such a great book. As I was reading it yesterday I read a part I had to type up and post all for you to see (if you care :o)....

"Without the slightest doubt, I know heaven is real. It's more real than anything I've ever experienced in my life. I sometimes say, "Think of the worst thing that's ever happened to you, the best thing that's happened to you, and everything in between; heaven is more than any of those things."

Since my return to earth, I've been acutely aware that all of us are on a pilgrimage. At the end of this life, wherever we go- heaven or hell- life will be more real than this one we're now living.

I never thought of that before my accident, of course. Heaven was a concept, something I believed in, but I didn't think about it often.

In the years since my accident, I've been repeatedly thought of the last night Jesus was with his disciples before his betrayal and crucifixion. Only hours before he began that journey to heaven, he sat with is disciples in the upper room. He begged them not to be troubled and the trust in him. Then he told them he was going away and added, "In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back an take you to be with me that you also may be where I am." (John 14:2-3)

I had never really noticed it before, but twice Jesus used the word place- a location. Perhaps that may not stir most people, but I think about it often. It is a literal place, I a can testify that I know that place. I have been there. I know heaven is real."

I just thought this was the coolest. He has been to heaven. He knows it is real. Just his testimony alone is so relieving that heaven is more real than here... right now. I can't wait to go one day and live in my Father's house!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

What I miss..

I know a lot of you know that I use to own a horse and use to ride but, I had to put Covers' (my horse) down on September 10, 2005. It literally broke my heart. I was a good horse owner. I did everything in my power to do the best I could for Covers. When he got hurt I got out there as soon as possile (not knowing how bad it actually was). I was on the phone with the vet immediately! Money wasn't even a thought until of course I saw how bad he was. After the vet stitched him up I still had a lot I had to do to care for him. I was going to have to go out at least once a day (I tried to go out once a day but, some days it wasn't possible) and clean out his wounds and wrap both hind legs up daily.

Hailee wasn't even a year yet and she would just go a long with me. Most of the time she was happy and would just sit in her stroller until I was done (of course watching everything I did).

After about a week Covers' legs and his other injuries were healing nicely but, he started to get a hematoma (who knows if I am even spelling that right?) on the left side of his trunk. I was told by the vet not to really worry about it but, I needed to lounge him to kind of work it out and to spray pressured water on it. I did exactly what the vet told me to do. I just added that onto my daily list.

I continued doing this for a couple of days and then Covers started to colic (colic is kind of like a stomach ache for a horse but sometimes it can get really bad and the horses intestines can twist and get tangled up and then there are major problems). I didn't just show up one day and he was laying down but, it was just a normal day. I went out there did all I was suppossed to do and then when I was leaving I took his halter off so he could go do his thing and he went and laid down. He never did that. I went and tried to get him up but, nothing seemed to work. Then he started to grown and look at his stomach (that is not a good sign). So, I got him up and had to walk him around (when a horse starts to colic that is the best thing you can do is just walk them around). Bob was on his way to come get Hailee as I was waiting for the vet.

This went on for a couple of days until it went more down hill (the vet came out 2 more times). We had to get him to the Equine Hospital in Katy. I had to call a friend of a friend to borrow a horse trailer. Finally I got Covers to the hospital and then had to wait for the vet to get there. I walked him around the Equine Hospital for probably about 2 hours. Covers ended up staying a couple of night there. I came everyday to see him. The last day he was there he looked a lot better. He was out in a little paddock eating grass and I was thinking things were looking up. Until later that night I got a call and things were turning for the worse. I was told we needed to get him to a Equine hospital of 290 as soon as we could. The vet was saying they could do more for him there then they could do. So, we got a hold of the people we borrowed the trailer from before and we went and got it to go take Covers to the new Equine Hospital.

I was hoping on the way to the new Equine Hospital that Covers would get better (sometimes if a horse is colicing and you put them in a trailer and take them for a little ride their intestines will get jiggled around enough to where they are better) but, that didn't happen for Covers. We got Covers to the new Equine Hospital really late that night and the vet was there waiting for us. The vet took Covers and put him in a stall. He said he was going to sedate Covers to take away from some of his pain. And that was that for that night. I felt horrible about just leaving him there.

My mom was in town like a day before we took Covers to this new hospital so, she could stay home with Hailee. I really believe that my mom being here was totally God.

So, the next day I was on my to the Equine Hospital (it was a little before 9:00 a.m.) and as I was on my way the vet called me to let me know about Covers. He wasn't doing better. We talked about surgery and he (the vet) told me with Covers' age (he was 23 yrs old) and how much he had been sedated these past few days that Covers probably wouldn't make it through surgery.

This just broke my heart. Covers and I have been together since I was 14 yrs old. I had owned him since I was 16 yrs old. I loved this horse so much. He was once a race horse, had lots of owners, and was CRAZY when I met him. I rehabilited him. I was the only one that he let ride him (he was a crazy man when anyone else try to ride him). We had a bound that I will never be able to explain. I loved him so much!

I got to the Equine Hospital and I new what was going to have to be done but, I couldn't. We had no money to pay for the surgery. I tried to call my dad to see if he could loan us the money but, he didn't answer and I left a message on his cell phone but, he never returned my call until later. I knew even if we did the surgery he more than likely wouldn't make it. I cried and cried. Finally I went back and saw Covers. I said my goodbyes, I petted him, I hugged him, my eyes poured with tears, I kissed him I don't know how many times, I took in that smell I loved so much about horses, and I told him I loved him and that he was the best horse I could ever ask for. There was a guy in there with me and he asked me if I wanted the hair from his tail and I said yes. I will never forget that man... he said he was sorry and he cried with me. There is something about horses and something about the love they give people that is unexplainable.

The vet came in and he asked if I was ready. I said yes. I had to leave while they put Covers down. I really didn't want to go but, he (the vet) said it was best because Covers would twitch and sometimes the horses thrash. I went and waited in the waiting room. It was like 15 minutes later and they took me to him. He was outside laying on the ground with his face covered witha cloth. It broke my heart. I cried and cried and cried.....

I ended up leaving him (I was really thinking about taking his body to bury where I could visit him but it was going to be a lot of work and I didn't think I was up for it). On my way home I had tears filling up my eyes. I cried and cried all the way home. I couldn't stop the tears if I tried. When I got home I went to bed and cried my eyes out. It is still hard to think about. Even as I wrote this blog I cried. I really miss Covers...

I tried to list things I miss but, can't think of them all. I miss everything about a horse. I miss riding them. I think that I won't remember how to ride but, I think it will be like riding a bike. I miss caring for them. I loved feeding Covers, grooming him, rinsing him off, watching him run like a crazy man and even cleaning up after him. He was a great horse. I don't know if I will ever find one like him again

One day I will own another one and I will have everything I miss so much.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Playgroup/Family Day at the Zoo

Really the Zoo trip was a playgroup activity but, we made it a family day too. Bob loves the Zoo so, he took yesterday off and came with us to the zoo. It was a CRAZY day! Did anyone know that the Zoo is full of kids on Earth Day? I guess I will when Hailee gets in school :o).

But, you know what I decided I LOVE? I love little girls! I love the little girl drama! I can't wait until Hailee gets in school and makes friends and I hope and pray that she will come and talk to me and share her drama. I know some of you may think I am crazy for saying this and looking forward to all this but, I am. I LOVE little GIRLS! They are so funny!

Anyways, we went to the zoo yesterday. Hailee has been asking to go to the Zoo for who knows how long. She was so EXCITED when this day finally got here! She had a great time with her daddy and with all her friends.

Heidi was so good yesterday. She didn't know what was going on but, she loves being outside and anything that has to do with her daddy she loves too. She didn't take a nap until about 12:30 p.m. yesterday at the zoo in her stroller. Her normal nap time is 9:30 a.m. and then again at 1:00 p.m. (but I think the 2 naps are changing to 1 nap now). There wasn't one tear.

Monday, April 20, 2009


Since Sunday I feel I have been gypping God out of one-on-one time with me and I am totally gypping myself out of one-on-one time with Him. I want exactly what Pastor Alex said on Sunday... I want to DRAW near to my Father. I mean... what have I been waiting for? What has been getting in the way of this one-on-one time I desperately want? Oh yea... the computer, the TV, and me just being selfish. You name it... it has been taking the place of God. When I think about it it just makes me SICK. And the crazy thing is... I look forward to time to just talk to Him, be with Him, and have that intimate time with Him (I mean that anxious feeling).

Today, I made it happen. Everyone went down for a nap and I went in my room shut the door and read the Bible and then prayed and listened for Him. It felt so good to have that time with Him. It wasn't rushed or disturbed. It was just GREAT!

Tomorrow will be a day of prayer as baby Stellan has surgery on his little heart. Please pray for him. You can check out his Mama's blog

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Hailee News

This has been a lot of posts in one day :o)... Gezzzzz...

I feel bad because lately I haven't really posted anything about Hailee. Here is something she said that was funny tonight.

I was doing my nightly bottle washing and Hailee and I were having a conversation about people we know who are going to have a baby or more like Hailee's friend's mommies who are having babies and how her friends are going to be big brothers... LOL! Anyways... we were talking about everyone... I mean like 3 people that are pregnant and that is a lot for a little person take comprehend because all they here is baby baby baby. So, we were talking about it and I forgot to name someone that was pregnant that we had talked about earlier in the week so, she reminded me of that person and I said oh yea. Then I said... that is a lot of babies huh? And Hailee said... yea... It is killing me! I have to tell you I laughed. Because when she said it she said it slumped over on the counter and in this tired voice. It was really funny!

The phrase "It is Killing Me." is from me :o). Yes... I know I should get the GREATEST MOM award... LOL! I say it quite often. YAY for me (not!).

Animal Love

Now that Heidi is "crawling" now she can get to all the animals and all the animals can get to her. Everytime she spots our cat sleeping or just plain walking around Heidi is instantly after her. It is pretty funny... except the fact that we own the MEANEST cat EVER. The cat (her name is Punk) has actually been a really nice cat to Heidi (so far). Here are some pictures of Heidi and the cat...
Chloe also, had some love to give to Heidi. Heidi has had a runny nose the past few days because of allergies and Chloe thought she would help Heidi out and lick up her boogies for her :o). Wasn't that nice of Chloe?
Heidi was crawling after the cat while she was sleeping today and I had to grab her because I could tell the cat was getting irritated. Then later Hailee runs out to the garage (I was out there for a second letting Chloe out) and says "Ummm... Ummmm.... Heidi.... Ummmm (come on Hailee spit it out).... Heidi.... is by the kitty.... and kitty is trying to bite her. Hurry!" Great huh? I ran in and everything was okay. I chased the cat off and put Heidi somewhere "safe".


I just had to post about my friends. I have some of the greatest girlfriends. They are so funny, loving, caring, good story tellers, fun to laugh with, fun to share stories with, hilarious, not shy, and the greatest God fearing friends EVER. I don't know what I was doing before them and I can't imagine being back where I was before them. They have changed my life for the best and because of them I am greatful! I love you girls! Have a great rainy day!

Friday, April 17, 2009

My world has changed...

Before yesterday I had a baby that just scooted around on her blanket that was on the floor. She would roll around from toy to toy. It was so wonderful. Until yesterday... she decided it was time to explore the house. I will have to blame this on the cat because has soon as Heidi saw the cat she was off. Heidi started in the living room and ended up in the hallway (on her way to the bathroom). No one wants a "tootsie pop". LOL! I shut the bathroom door and Hailee's door (Hailee has to many little things in her room) and she was on her way to our room. Our room is pretty safe. It was great. She pulls herself with her hands/arms and then sometimes uses her toes to push off the floor to make her way a little faster. It is hilarious! She is starting to get around a lot fast now too :o). As soon as she was in the hallway I knew we had to take action. I had Bob stop by the store to get a gate for the hallway. Hailee thinks the gate is the greatest! I don't know why but, she thinks it is a toy and goes in and out of the gate 50 million times and clicks it back and forth. Let me just say it is quite ANNOYING! Hopefully it will get old fast. LOL! Oh yea... so since Heidi decided to start crawling all over the place she had been covered in animal hair so, I knew I had to take action. I vaccumed the floors and then swiffered all the dirt up. So, now I get to clean the floors probably about once a day because it started to look like all the animal hair was starting to irritate Heidi's allergies. Great huh?

I wil have to say... Today has been a lot better. There has been no crying or fussing. Heidi is taking a great nap also. I am sure the Benadryl helped a little... LOL!

Dedicated to Jen Lyons

I want to dedicate this new post to Jen Lyons because, she fixed my blog :o). She was the one that told me where to go to get the 3 column blog. It seemed so easy but, I guess I just can't follow directions. Bob and I tried to redue the 3 column blog last night and we had no clue what we were doing wrong. Jen graciously emailed me and said she would help me by doing it for me. I emailed her immediately and sent her all the information she would need to access my blog. And she is so STINKIN' SWEET and she did it last night or this morning while she was trying to pack and get stuff done for school. Oh Jen... I LOVE YOU! Thank you so very much! I hope you have a great time this weekend and you get a lot of scrapbooking done.

Thursday, April 16, 2009


I could just yank ALL my hair out today. I had plans to get all kinds of wonderful stuff done today BUT, Heidi has been the crankiest, cryingest, loudest, rottenest, hardest baby today. All she has been doing today is crying. She hasn't taken a good nap until AFTER Hailee got home from school. I have given her tylenol, feed her, changed her, played with her, and you name it I DID IT! But, nothing. I told Hailee when we got home she was going to sit on the couch and watch a movie while I got stuff done. I put Heidi down for a nap, started that movie, and got to cleaning. I am so tired and exhausted....

On antoher topic... MY BLOG. I want a 3 column blog and found out from a friend where to get one (thank you friend). I did everything the directions said (so I thought) and now my blog is lopsided. Great huh? Soon enough it will be fixed :o).

Well, I have to go get a crying baby from her bed :o).

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Can You Imagine?

Have you ever thought what Heaven would be like and what you would see and hear?

Would there be actual gates you would walk through?

Would you see loved ones you have lost? And what would they look like? Would they look like how you remembered them (as healthy and full of life)?

Would you hear LOUD beautiful music? So loud it would consume every thought?

Would you even think or remember the people you have left behind on earth?

Would you be greeted by Angels? Would they lead you to our Father?

Would our Father be in a throne with fire? Or would he walk towards us and greet us with open arms?

Will there be a smell?

These are just some things I think of. I wonder about these things because I know I am going to Heaven. I am not at all perfect (so far from it) but, I know God and I love Him and I do the best I can to glorify Him. I am trying to change myself to be more like Him (even though that is far fetched). I am trying to love my Father more, love my kids more, love my husband more, love others more, and love myself more. I love my GOD and I can't wait to be with Him one day!!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter!!!

Happy Easter everyone! I just have to say I am overwhelmed with Christ's love for me (I hope that came out right :o). I love Jesus! I love that God sent His only son here to die for our sins! I love that Jesus knew this was going to happen and He did it any ways because He loves us so much! I love that He is in everyone of us! I love that I can speak to God when ever I want! I love that He is always there and that I don't have to wait until it is convenient for Him! I love that He is there when I have no one else! I love that He will comfort me in whatever I am in! I just can't say it enough.... I LOVE JESUS!!!
You know what else I have learned to LOVE so very much... speaking to my kids about how wonderful, loving, generous, comforting, forgiving, etc. our Father is. I have to say watching Hailee listen and learn and re-tell the story of Jesus' Resurrection... it is the COOLEST! I don't know if anyone feels the same but, man... I am overwhelmed by God's glory! I love Jesus!
Today, was just so great! We did NOTHING! I couldn't tell you the last time that happened. Well, I did have to do the everyday stuff but, nothing extra. It was so great!
I was thinking in the kitchen not to long ago as I was washing bottles... how great my life is. I may not always think that but, it really is wonderful. I have a loving husband that works hard for our family and then comes home and has little people waiting for him to play with them. Even though he is so tired... he comes in and instantly turns FUN daddy on. If that was me... could I do that? As he plays with them he is talking to me and is willing (well maybe not always willing) to help me with whatever I ask him to do. I don't think it could get any better than that.
Then while I was cleaning the kitchen I was thinking how things use to be... before I was married and how care free I was and how all I worried about was going to work, going home, and going to see Bob. We were so just a go with the flow couple. It was so great! Then we got married and it was great! We just did what any new married couple did :o). We thought about having a family soon, where we would live, how to live together, etc. So many things. Then a baby was here before you new it and our world changed. Everyone has their challenging times as new parents and how to fit this new little one in. As I was thinking about this all and watching Bob chase Hailee and them playing hide-and-seek... I couldn't imagine my life any different and I am so thankful for it all (even though sometimes I may not be very nice).
Thank you Lord for sending your only son to earth and having Him die for our sin. O' PRAISE HIM!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Easter Part Two

First something random I thought was really funny... those of you with dogs or cats or both... don't you think it is just HILARIOUS when your little one talks to the dog or cat like they are a real person or actually know what they are talking about. It cracks me up! So, Hailee is sitting down on the floor going through all the eggs she just found and opening them and the cat is walking through all her stuff and sniffing all the stuff and Hailee tells the cat... "Kitty, don't eat that... that is mine... not yours." She was all serious... it was like she was talking to a friend or her sister. Actually she was talking to the cat just like she talks to Heidi. It just makes me laugh...

On to the Easter stuff... so today we had a "last supper" like Jesus did. I was talking to a friend on what I blogged about the other night about how we don't make Easter important like we do Christmas. She mentioned maybe having a "last supper". At first I wasn't so sure about it but, you know what... it was great. I think it really helped Hailee see kind of what we are talking about. So, as we sat done we talked about the last supper and what Jesus said to His disciples and we had grape juice instead of His "blood". It was pretty cool.

We went to church tonight (Saturday night) and we listened to the Easter sermon Pastor Alex did. It was great as always! When we got home I feed Heidi while Bob went and hid eggs outside (it is supposed to rain here tomorrow). So, we decided to hide all 82 eggs outside before the weather got bad. LOL! Tomorrow we will do our Easter basket thing and egg hunt inside. I have to go now though... it is time to continue on with our Ressurection Eggs.

Oh yea... I forgot to tell y'all we colored eggs today too. It is getting so much more fun as Hailee gets older. This last picture I just took of Hailee and Bob reading about the Ressurection with the Ressuretion Eggs. Hailee really enjoys it!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Begining of Easter week...

Easter week really started on Wednesday... kind of crazy huh? You would think with Easter meaning the Resurrection of Jesus Christ that we would be talking about Easter at least a month before. You would think between Christmas- the birth of Christ vs. Easter- the resurrection of Christ (dying for our sin)... that out of the 2 the resurrection would be the most important to talk about and teach your child about. Right? I have really been thinking about this the past few days. I asked Hailee this morning what she thought Easter was and she said "Eggs... Bunny...". I was thinking... oh no... what now... so I started to tell her about the resurrection...

I told Hailee... When Jesus was older a lot of people didn't like Him and they nailed His hands to the cross and He ended up dying (I went quick through this part). Then they put Jesus in a tomb. I told her what a tomb was~ a cave where they put bodies in and then there was a big rock that they put in front of the hole and shut them in there. Then I told Hailee... Mary and her friend came to see Jesus after he died and they opened the tomb and Jesus wasn't there anymore. I told her God rose Him from the dead. God brought Jesus back to life. He was a live! I didn't really get into everything after that... when we talk about it again I need to add that after God rose him from the dead that Jesus got to go home... to God and that after that God put Him in all of us. We have God in us and that is called the Holy Spirit. This is hard to explain to a child but, it needs to be done and explained. Does this make sense?

Anyways enough rambling... Wednesday was playgroup and we went over to Hailee's friend, Jack's house and we played and ate some yummy food. Jack's mommy had a really cute craft. She had paint to paint this paper with different designs on it and that piece of paper that the kids painted fit inside of this flower pot and then it was covered up with a plastic part of the pot. Then Jack's mommy had a flower and potting soil to go in each pot. It was fun and so cute.

Then today (Thursday) was the Easter party at Hailee's school. I wasn't going to go because it is so hectic with Heidi's schedule and lunch and everything. I told Hailee why I wasn't going to be able to make it and she asked why so, I told her. I asked her if that was okay and she said "No." I felt so bad. So, Heidi and I made it happen and it all worked out :o). Hailee did say she was glad we came. I am too.

More to be continued....

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


Some of you may know this about me but some of you may not... I am really sensitive about things. For example, I will cry over TV shows, over commercials, over people I don't even know, Pastor Alex's sermons, songs, and the list goes on. I always thought my mom was the biggest weinie when she would cry over stupid stuff like commercials and stuff. But, look at me... I am just like her in that way. I made so much fun of her and now my kids will probably do the same thing to me.

Lately, I have been crying at least once a day (or more). It maybe over stupid things but a lot of times it is over Stellan ( I have been praying and praying for him. I love this baby and I haven't even met him. I also cry over Praise songs. I can be in the car, at church, or pretty much anywhere and tears pour :o).

I have been thinking about my tears... I think the Lord hears my tears. Actually I know he does. When I cry for Stellan I know the Lord hears my tears and how I desparetly want Stellan to get better and for Him to be with MckMama through all this. I know when I cry during a praise song that I am praying while I sing and the tears are being heard. I may be sensitive to a lot of things but, maybe that is one of the ways I pray to my Father. I love my God and He is so faithful!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

9 months old

Heidi turned 9 months old yesterday. Can you believe it? I can't. We went to the doctor today and Heidi is doing great. She weighs 14 lbs. 13 oz. (3%), 28 inches long (75%), and her head is 44 inches around (50%). Don't be worried about the weight because she gained 2 lbs. in 3 months and that is good for my little petite girls :o). Then there was issues with her height... at 6 months they measured her at 28 inches so, that would mean she hadn't grown in length at all. But, we (the doctor and I) are thinking they measured her wrong at 6 months but, I guess time will only tell. She is doing great! Heidi is not crawling yet but, she is rolling over (both sides), scooting around, and sitting up great, She is doing the rocking back and forth thing so, I am expecting her to be crawling really soon. Then my world will change... YAY, I can't wait!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

having a little faith...

So, if you don't know already... we have gone on a SUPER tight budget. I asked a friend who is a CPA and LOVES number to come over and help us with our budget so, we can start paying debt off and start saving some major money. We have only been on this budget for a week and I have been freaking out all week. I don't like being told no or I can't spend money on what want. I like to buy things for the girls and being able to buy things when we need them. I am really struggling. The good news is we have paid off A LOT of debt in this short week. And, that is a great feeling! But, as I have been complaining and freaking out I have come to the realization that I haven't been having faith in the Lord. He is not going to let us fail. He doesn't want us to owe money or have debt. He wants His money to go towards good things. To His house. I have to remember "our money" is not "our money" it is HIS. I need to remember what is important and not to dwell on money. Money is not important. What is important... is to Glorify the Lord!